A good book is the best of friends

Anyone but You by Jennifer Cruise

2011-12-31T07:00:00.117-06:00

I was interested in this book because of the basset hound on the cover. I get dog fever around this time of the year. Something about the holidays make me think of puppies. I always assumed I'd grow up and have a dog. I never wanted a husband, I never wanted kids, but I always wanted a dog. But I grew up, sort of, and realized that I'm entirely too irresponsible to have a dog. I'm never home, I'm tight with my money (as in I'd pass out and die if I had to fork over some major, unexpected pet-related medical expenses) and I lack the ability to show affection toward living things. So yeah, no dog for me.

But back in the day when I wanted a dog, I wanted a basset hound because I think they are adorable, and so even now, long after I've realized I can't have a dog, I am still drawn to basset hounds.

I read the description of the book and thought it sounded cute. Not the sort of book I would usually read. But not every book I read has to be dark and deep and serious, right? I later realized this is even part of a Harlequin romance series. I've not read a Harlequin romance since I was in high school and used to take them from my mother.

Day before the end of the year, I had read 34 books and wanted to get that up to 35. So I took this book to bed with me and I read the entire thing in one sitting. Finished it early this morning.

As far as romances go, this was pretty good. A 40 year old, newly-divorced woman moves from her mansion to a small apartment and she decides to get a dog. She wants a perky puppy, but while at the pound, she instead is drawn to a sad, depressed basset hound who only has a day left before he's put down. She takes Fred instead of a puppy. And it's Fred, who Nina trains to use the fire escape to go out, who accidentally walks into her downstairs neighbor's apartment. The downstairs neighbor is Alex, a 30-year-old ER doctor.

Nina is beginning a new life on her own. She married her first boyfriend and for sixteen years, she stood by him as he built up his career as a successful and wealthy attorney. Alex is just getting started with his career, as his family of doctors tries to pressure him into choosing a more distinguished speciality than ER. Though they are both hesitant to admit it, they seem to be exactly what each other needs.

I actually really liked this story. I liked the characters, they seemed real and they seemed like nice people. The story didn't make me cringe like most "romances" tend to do. I liked that it wasn't the typical broken-hearted, lonely woman seeking a big, successful man to sweep off her feet. Nina could take care of herself and she was okay with Alex being a little immature and goofy. She liked the company of a nice guy, she didn't need someone to take care of her.

Maybe it's because I'm closer to 40 than I am 30 and I like the idea that a nice, attractive younger man would find a 40 year old woman attractive. In real life it seems the only men who notice a woman my age now are the creepy old guys who don't have enough money to attract the 20 year olds. Let's just say I'm glad I'm no longer involved in the whole dating scene because it's not pleasant for women my age. It's settle or be single. So even though this book may not have been realistic, it still made me happy to read this story because it's nice to think the possibility is there.

Alex isn't just a nice guy, he's also not one of those guys needing a wife to "settle down" and cook and clean and have babies. That seemed to be the only option out there when I was younger. Never met any guys who wanted to do fun things like travel and watch old movies or attend concerts and sporting events. No, the nice guys just wanted to get married, buy a house and have a couple of kids - boring! And the other guys, well they just wanted, you know...

Okay, so the book is a fantasy, but not the typical romantic fantasy. It's more of a fantasy for women like me. I guess that was what I found surprising about the story. These types of stories rarely appeal to me.

I had a few minor issues with the story - one being that I thought it took way too long for Nina and Alex to get together. He's in her apartment every night watching TV, she's lying on the couch behind him while he's sitting on the floor, they both want each other, and no one makes a move? This goes on for weeks! Then once they got together, there was a bit of weirdness, Alex became something of a jerk for a while. But maybe that's normal? Not all that experienced with relationships. But all of that was brief and resolved rather quickly.

Overall I liked the book. Kind of nice to read something that isn't as heavy as what I usually read. I'd recommend this book to anyone who enjoys romance novels and wants a quick, light read.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

2011-12-30T22:22:00.067-06:00

I was curious about this book and then a friend of mine went on and on about how it's the best book ever, so I decided to read it.

I like books about magic, stories that can integrate the magic into the story in such a way that it feels natural and normal. This book was full of magic.

Two competitive magicians set up a challenge between their students. Once the students are older they end up involved in a circus. A circus that only performs at night and lasts until dawn. Everything in the circus is black and white, and there are many tents, each with some beautiful, magical treasures inside.

I loved the way the words created images in my mind. The story is so well written that I could easily immerse myself in this circus as I read the story. I used the word "atmospheric" to describe this book. It felt dreamy and misty and each time I picked up the book I felt as if I was drifting into this special world again.

One element of the story that I especially liked were the people who followed the circus, the Revers. They loved the circus so much they would travel around the country, sometimes across the ocean to visit the circus. They made friends with other followers of the circus and they traveled together. "We lead strange lives, chasing our dreams from place to place," one of these Revers explains. I could relate too well with these people. For years, I've followed my favorite bands around the country and to Europe. Some of my best friends are people I've met along these travels, other people who understand what it's like to chase dreams. This gave me a stronger understanding of these people and their love for this beautiful circus.

What I didn't like about the story though was I never fully understood "the challenge." I don't think I was supposed to understand because even the people involved said several times that they didn't understand the rules or the parameters. As a reader, this became frustrating to me as the book reached an end. I assumed as I was reading this that it would eventually be explained. I felt the ending was unsatisfying. I'm not going to give away from happened but the resolution felt too vague to me. I had no idea as to expect, but I certainly didn't expect what did happen.

This is one of those books I may need to read again, just to get a better understanding as to what happened.

But I did enjoy the book. Very well written, very interesting story. And as I said at the beginning, full of magic, always a good thing.

finished reading: Dec. 30, 2011

The Girl in the Flammable Skirt by Aimee Bender

2011-12-17T22:21:00.039-06:00

The description of this collection of short stories sounded so interesting. But the stories were more weird than interesting. And I usually like weird, but this wasn't a cool weird but rather a, "WTF, that doesn't make any sense," sort of weird. There was rarely any sort of explanation or background given to provide any substance for the bizarreness of the stories.

The stories were like, "One day my boyfriend started to go through a reverse evolution. He became an ape, then a fish, then a tadpole, so put him in the ocean." The end. Really? The stories are for the most part delivered with that much emotion and detail.

I never felt any sort of connection or concern for the characters involved in these stories.

And yet, I kept reading them, so I must not have thought they were completely terrible. I suspect I was in some way drawn to the bizarreness. At one point, about a third of the way through the book, I decided I wasn't going to finish reading it, I had too many other books to read to waste my time on this nonsense. But I couldn't stop reading the stories. Maybe I was just hoping that something more would happen. Maybe my curiosity got the better of me. A few of the longer stories had potential, but they felt more like introductions or outlines for what could have been better stories.

The more I read short stories the more I realize I don't like them much. I need to know more about the characters. If I'm going to invest my time in reading about these people, I need to get a better feeling as to who they are. Short stories don't provide the kind of connection I need with what I read.

I really didn't like this book very much. Part of me gets annoyed when I read stuff like this because I don't quite understand why something like this gets published. Maybe I'm not smart enough to get it. But the weirdness too often tipped into the "silly" category. I kind of wish I'd never picked this book up.

finished reading: Dec. 17, 2011

Blue Nights by Joan Didion

2011-12-02T22:17:00.063-06:00

This book is so very sad. Blue Nights is Joan Didion's collection of thoughts on the loss of her daughter. She doesn't write specifically about her daughter's death, but rather about her daughter absence from her life now.

A few years ago, Didion wrote The Year of Magical Thinking about the loss of her husband, and the year that followed his loss. I seem to recall that book being more structured. Blue Nights isn't about a certain time period. It's more about what Didion is going through as a parent who has lost her child, as a parent who assumed that her child would outlive her and be around now.

What broke my heart the most was when she talked about how we hold onto things in hopes of saving memories of important moments, only to look back on those items, cards and photographs and wish that we'd worked harder at enjoying that moment.

Didion has lost so many people in her life, and she's struggling with the idea of getting older and having to do this without the people who were most important to her.

She also reflects quite a bit on parenthood, and worries about things she may have done wrong. She's fixated on certain events. She thinks maybe her daughter was adversely affected by being adopted and that maybe she parenting skills were off. But as a reader, an outsider looking in, and someone who has never been a parent, but has spent plenty of time around children, I can't help but think that it's normal for parents to question their own parenting skills. I think any parent who assumes they did everything right is probably very much in denial. I didn't get the impression that she was a bad parent or that her daughter suffered much. I think that Didion is probably just spending a lot of time thinking and re-thinking and over analyzing the events in her life. She's a writer, that's what writers do. She's seeking an answer, wondering what she could have done differently.

I very much enjoy Didion's writing and this was no exception. But reading this broke my heart over and over again. This book made me think of people I've lost, of moments I tried to hold onto, of things I've done wrong and things I wished I'd done differently and the horror that I can't change the past to remedy my mistakes. It also made me realize that I'm going to grow old alone and it made me a little bit glad that I won't have people to lose and that my own alone-ness will be fully expected, unlike Didion, who thought her daughter would be there with her as she grew older.

I'd recommend this book to anyone. It's just one of those books I think people should read.

finished reading: Dec. 2, 2011

A Vintage Affair, by Isable Wolff

2011-11-27T16:45:00.001-06:00

I saw this book at the store a while back, and wanted to buy it for my friend who owns a vintage shop because I thought it sounded interesting. Also, I've read two other books by Isabel Wolff and really liked both of them. Then as holiday travel approached, I needed a book to keep me entertained while waiting in airports and on planes. I saw this available at the library and snapped it up. Very glad I did.

What I like most about Wolff's books are that her main characters are strong women, who don't need a man to validate their existence. Wolff's stories are never about women seeking men or losing men or trying to navigate life with a man. Instead, her characters are trying to figure out who they are and what they need to "live their best life" - yes, I stole that phrase from Oprah, but it fit. In this book Phoebe has suffered a tragic loss and is trying to reaccess her life - get her act together and move on.

She's ended her engagement, a situation which was tainted with bad energy already - and has left a stressful, but successful career to start her own business. This is the story of how that works out for her.

There are several different storylines - Phoebe dealing with her past, trying to navigate her future, her mother's attempts at moving forward after suffering her own loss, Phoebe's relationships with an elderly women whose life is ending, as well the storylines of the characters who shop at Phoebe's vintage shop, as well as the stories of the dresses. It never felt like too many things happening, but rather a very realistic snapshot of the life surrounding Phoebe and her store.

There were parts of the book that were very sad, others that felt hopeful. This book is about friendships and guilt and grief and forgiveness and the way all of those things mingle together and affect everyday life. There isn't a nice, happy ending because that wouldn't be possible considering the circumstances. But there is hope at the end.

I'd recommend this to anyone who wants a quick, interesting read. Not too romantic or sappy, but emotionally powerful. Also, the stories about the dresses are interesting. I know nothing about fashion, but this did spark my interest in vintage clothing. A big plus that the story took place in London, in areas that I remember from my time spent there, and there's even a trip to France included (an area I've not visited, but would like to someday.)

It Looked Different on the Model by Laurie Notaro

2011-11-14T16:46:00.001-06:00

I spent two weeks trying to make my way through a non-fiction book about Berlin under the early days of Hitler. Not exactly a light or enjoyable read. I finally gave up on the book and I wanted something fun.

Was so pleased to see this book by Laurie Notaro. I love her writing, she's so funny.

This book was so very funny, one night as I sat here reading it, I was laughing so hard I was crying and my whole body was sore. I couldn't stop laughing. This is one of those books that I've told everyone they need to read and I'll probably buy a few copies to give as Christmas gifts.

Of course, as I found out last time I insisted on everyone reading one of her books, not everyone gets her sense of humor. But then again, I tend to not be amused by things that most people find funny.

Notaro writes about simple, every day situations, that become hilarious. Such as trying on a shirt that's a size too small and then getting trapped in it, or being banned from the satellite post office for wanting to purchase too many two cent stamps. I could especially relate to having lost an iPhone - which I did this summer and felt the same raging hatred for the person who now I had my phone and all my photos and notes. The funniest story was about her husband thinking she was eating candy in bed. I won't tell you what happened, but highly recommend you find a copy and read it.

Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

2011-10-29T18:12:00.089-05:00

I pretty much loved this book. I finished reading it yesterday morning, and spent the rest of the day and today missing the characters, that's how much I liked this book.

Diana was born a witch, but doesn't really use her magic much. She's also a historian who happens to be working at Oxford, doing research on alchemy. One day, while in the Bodleian Library she notices a tall, beautiful man who happens to be a vampire. Oh. My. God. Do you know me at all? Maybe not, but the author of this book seems to have tapped into all my fantasies at once - witches, vampires, books, research, Oxford and love at first sight in a library? Oh, and not to spoil anything, but the vampire also has a castle in France. Dear god I love this book.

And it's so well written. I realize my description of the book may sound ridiculous: a witch meets a vampire in a library and they fall in love. But it's written in such a way that it doesn't feel at all ridiculous. It was one of those books I was able to dive into and push away all the blandness of the real world. It's so atmospheric, Oxford, then France. I felt as if I was there, in the old building, walking through the castle, sharing the perfect glass of wine with a sexy vampire.

I'm hesitant to say this, but it's almost like a Twilight for grown-ups. As much as I love this book, and feel that it blows Twilight away in just about every aspect imaginable, I'd be lying if I said the similarities aren't there.

I have to admit I did not love the second half of the book as much as I loved the first half. When it was just Diana and Matthew, it was perfect. But then we meet Matthew's family, and then we meet Diana's family. Then we have something called the Congregation that wants to kill Diana because vampires and witches aren't supposed to be together. (Do you see the Twilight comparison now? In Twilight it was a group of vampires in Italy who didn't want vampires and humans together.)

There's also Matthew's hesitation about consumating the relationship, his old fashioned views about women, his extreme protectiveness -- all quite similar to a vampire we all know as Edward. Diana is a much stronger character than Bella, but like Bella, she is more than willing to give up life as she knows it for the vampire she loves, despite the fact that she's never been crazy about the idea of getting married and having children.

And like Twilight, we have the vampire family, the parents and the children. The part that bothered me most is that suddenly Diana, who has only been in love with this vampire for a few weeks, is now referring to his "son" as her son. That was weird and a little icky as far as I was concerned. That detracted some from my love of the book because I noticed myself groaning every time she referred to her "son." He's not your son, you just met him. Technically, he's not Matthew's "son" either, but oh well.

But what's really going to piss me off about this book is if they get all wrapped up in the idea of vampire/witch offspring. That's what killed the Twilight series for me - the weird vampire/human spawn storyline. As soon as they mentioned "conception" in this book, I felt a surge of anger. Don't ruin this story for me!

Why can't two people - witch/vampire - whatever - spend some time being in love with each other, getting to know each other - before they start reproducing? Nothing kills a romance for me like babies do.

Luckily, the subject was mentioned and then they moved on. I think that however the subject is approached, it will be okay.

Despite my complaints just mentioned, I loved the story of Diana and Matthew. This felt truly romantic, not crude or silly or graphic and awkward. I rarely enjoy anything considered "romantic" and usually simply tolerate those scenes or rush through them as quickly as possible. This book though, I savored those scenes, because this couple got to know each other, spent time together, and actually seemed to fall in love rather than fall into bed.

I'm looking forward to the next book, even though I'm not usually a fan of time travel (the end of this book involved Matthew and Diana timewalking). I'm bothered that the sequel won't be out until the summer, but oh well, another reason to look forward to the summer.

I very much recommend this book to anyone who likes vampire stories or witch stories or well written romance stories.

Before I Go to Sleep by C.J. Watson

2011-10-11T14:16:00.001-05:00

So this was the other book about a woman losing her memory. Unlike, What Alice Forgot, this one is not at all light-hearted or fun. This is incredibly creepy and disturbing.

Every morning Christine wakes up not knowing where she is, or who she's with. Her husband tapes pictures around the room with explanations. He says they've been married for years, they're very much in love. He writes notes a white board in the kitchen, suggestions of how she can spend her day. She then goes to bed and forgets everything during her sleep, and wakes the next morning and goes through it all over again.

One day though, she gets a call from a doctor who says he's been helping her for a while. She has a journal in which she writes down everything. The doctor calls her every morning and tells her about the journal. He says they're making progress.

Every once in a while she remembers an event, or a person, but she has no context with which to place these memories.

I read this book very quickly. It was due at the library and I didn't want to have to put my name back on the waiting list.

This book reminded me of the Mary Higgins Clark books I used to read. I loved those books when I was younger, as in high school days. But then I grew tired of them. I could guess the ending within the first few chapters. Same with this book. Mid-way through, I already suspected what was happening, but read it too quickly to really dwell on it.

But in the end, I was disappointed. Also, the story was too far-fetched for me. The daily vanishing memory was a little too hard to accept. A doctor so concerned and involved that he called her every day but didn't even suspect what was actually happening? The friends and family who simply disappeared from her life? Most of all though, I didn't like the overt moralizing of the story, as if Christine somehow deserved what had happened to her. It's obvious this book was written by a man, and if I'd known that in advance I probably wouldn't have read it. (I'm very particular about books written by men. It has to be an author with which I'm familiar or has a lot of great reviews from people I respect.) The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. This felt very much like what I imagine to be the perverted sexual fantasies of a deranged man.

It held my interest, I couldn't stop reading it once I started because I was anxious to find out what happened next. It's very suspenseful and it certainly left an impression. The night after I finished that book, I had some horrible nightmares relating to this story. In hindsight, I wish I'd not read this book.

The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta

2011-10-10T03:19:00.071-05:00

Last year, I remember people being all frantic about the end of the world. I say people, but I mean my silly students. Teenagers believe just about anything they read online or have sent to them via text message, but absolutely nothing told to them by a semi-intelligent adult in a position of pseudo-authority. I found myself trying to explain this idea of the so-called Rapture on a few occasions.

A little background on me - I don't believe in any of this stuff. I think the Bible is a sometimes interesting book and nothing more. I think most religions were created to keep women "in their place." So as I try to explain all this to teenagers, I try to be cautious with my choice of words so as not to offend them. Unlike other teachers who think it's fine to push their political-religious views on others, I try to remain neutral in the eyes of my students. Not always easy.

I was quite amused though when I said at one point, "The Rapture is the idea that God is going to take his followers up to heaven with him and leave behind those who don't believe in Jesus." And one of my students says, "Good, those people are annoying." Oh yeah, these are my kids.

Anyway, this book, The Leftovers, is about a situation in which a Rapture type event happens. Thousands of people just disappear one night. The story takes place three years later, as people are still trying to cope with what has happened. People are furious because they can't understand the random way in which people were selected. They call it the "Sudden Departure" because it doesn't fit their definition of the Rapture. People who viewed themselves as devout Christians were left behind while atheists and Muslims and Buddhists were taken. Families were destroyed as spouses and children vanished.

But eventually, the people have to go on with whatever is left of their lives. There's a mother who lost her husband and two small children, teenagers traumatized by having seen their friends vanish in front of them. There's an angry minister who devotes his life to showing that the people taken didn't deserve to go by publishing a newsletter exposing the sins of those who were taken. Then there are all the strange cults and organizations that form as a reaction to this event. The creepy religious group, the Guilty Remnant, that walk around silently, dressed in white, stalking people who are trying to live a normal life. There's the self-proclaimed prophet who thinks he can absorb pain and has a slew of teenage brides he's trying to impregnate to create the next savior. There are the barefoot people who simply live for fun.

Most of all this is about how people cope with extreme tragedy and figure out a way to move on when all they really want to do is give up.

I liked the book quite a bit. I found it to be such an interesting concept, and handled in a way that isn't ridiculous or too far fetched. The characters seem real and, for the most part, likable. It's a frightening statement about how some people cope with tragedy, there are some horrifying events in here, but also, a statement about how most people pick up the pieces and move on, doing the best they can given the circumstances.

We the Animals by Justin Torres

2011-09-28T15:21:00.002-05:00

I didn't like this book at all. I've grown tired of stories about "Latino" families in which abuse is considered normal and a sign of passion or love. I don't like the way this seems to be presented as part of our culture. Something we tolerate as a result of all of our "intense" feelings. When I read things like this, I get angry thinking that there are white people reading this book and assuming that we all act this way. Not fair, I know, but still. Someday, I'd like to read a story about a Latino family that didn't involve domestic abuse.

This is intended to be some kind of coming of age story, about a rather dysfunctional family. The parents were too young when their three sons were born. The children seem to have no discipline at all, I guess because the parents work all the time. The author writes proudly of the way the boys destroy everything. The mother is helpless to do anything, she never seems to know what's going on because the night shift she works has her confused all the time. And she gets beaten by her husband fairly often, and sometimes she thinks of leaving, but never goes through with it. When they're not fighting, they're fucking, and sometimes right in front of the children. Also, she seems to be having a lesbian affair with a co-worker, which seems random, until you get to the very end of the book.

The book is written like a lot of popular modern fiction these days, a series of short stories, just a few pages describing some big, tragic incident, just enough information to shock and horrify. Then the author moves on to another story. It's a little too much like poetry for me to enjoy. When I read a book, I want to sink into it, and that doesn't happen with this book. It's very sparse, vague, almost, never really letting the reader know what's happening. The ending is intended to be especially shocking and unexpected. Unfortunately, I'd read a few reviews that had hinted at what was to happen, so I wasn't as shocked as I might have been had I not read the reviews. It didn't seem to fit with the rest of the story, but then again, nothing in the story really flowed or fit all that well.

This just wasn't my sort of book. On the plus side, it's very short, so I didn't feel like I wasted all that much time reading it.

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

2011-09-25T03:21:00.051-05:00

Seemed like I read about a few books that women losing their memories. And every once in a while, when I read about several new books, I go to my public library's website and put my name on the hold lists for these books. So I wasn't even sure which of the "women losing their memories" books I picked up when I checked this out.

This book is fairly light-hearted. Kind of cute and funny in spots, a lot about family and friends and community. The other book about a woman losing her memory is quite different.

In this book, Alice falls at the gym and loses consciousness. When she wakes, she seems to have lost the last ten years of her life. She thinks she's nearly married and pregnant with her first child. She's startled to realize that she's going through a divorce and a nasty custody battle for her three children. In her mind, she's still very much in love with her husband, and has big hopes for their future together, but in reality their future together is over. She doesn't remember the birth of her first child, or the existence of her other two children. She doesn't understand why her sister, with whom she'd once been close, is now so distant and bitter.

This book really made me think about how our past selves would view our future self. I read this right around the tenth anniversary of 9/11, so it was easy for me to remember exactly where I was in my life ten years ago. Twenty-five years old, just started grad school, living in a little (but rather expensive) apartment in a fancy suburb. I was at a job I didn't like much - which is why I was going back to school. I had big plans to get my masters in women's studies, move to New York City and seriously pursue my writing career, focusing on women's issues. Back then, I never would have imagined that I'd end up a high school art teacher (sometimes, even now, I'm still not quite sure how all that happened.)

It's interesting to see how the main character handles this situation. She's determined to save her marriage, wants to repair the broken relationships that seem to have happened over the past decade. But as her memory returns, she realizes she's holding on to things that no longer existed, relationships that fell apart over time, for valid reasons.

I liked the book. As I said, it feels like a light read, but it's deceptively deep. As Alice's memories rush back to her, the reader almost understands why she would allow herself to forget. She suffered a horrible loss that anyone would want to forget. As I said, it really made me think about my own life and the way things can change, or in some cases, remain completely the same, over a decade. Sometimes maybe we need to stop and re-evaluate our lives because sometimes we end up going a direction we never meant to go.

Darkness Visible by William Styron

2011-09-15T03:21:00.001-05:00

I happened to be trapped under an especially dark storm cloud on the day when I saw this offered for a dollar or two on Amazon Kindle's Daily Deals. At first, I scoffed and thought the last thing I needed was another self help book, and then an hour or so later I thought, maybe it's a sign that this book showed up in my facebook newsfeed at that moment, so I went ahead and downloaded it to my Kindle.

It's not a self help book, but rather the story of one man's struggle with depression. It felt somewhat comforting to read this at the time I read it. It doesn't really provide any answers or solutions for how to get through depression. What it does provide though is the sense that someone else knows how it feels not just to be struggling with darkness, but also to be in a situation that no one else seems to understand.

This is a very short read. When I downloaded it, I thought it would be longer. But I'd recommend it to anyone who has dealt or is dealing with depression. I'm tempted to suggest that anyone with loved ones affected by depression also read this, but I don't know that it would help. I can't help but think that people who have never experienced true depression can ever have any sort of awareness or understanding about just how debilitating it can be.
Overall, I felt this was well worth a read.

Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her

2011-09-05T09:15:00.002-05:00

All I ever wanted was to be Nancy Drew. Anything else that I ever claimed I wanted, it always led back to Nancy Drew. She was smart and confident and always did what was right. Even when others doubted her, she never doubted herself. She drove a cool car and she had a couple of fun girlfriend and a really nice boyfriend who respected her.

Most of all, she never hesitated when following her instinct. When she wanted something, she went after it, she didn't sit around and worry about all that might go wrong. The fear of failure didn't exist in Nancy Drew. Nancy Drew never failed. If she did, in any way, mess up, she was able to fix it, again, without hesitation. She never spent hours in front of the mirror, only to decide later that it was better to just stay home. She never took the easy or the safe route. She never worried so much about rejection that she eventually decided life would be simpler if she just didn't try.

Nancy was everything I wanted to be. As a child, I devoured those books, one after another. My friend, Mollie, and I, kept a list of the ones we'd read. Couldn't get enough of those books. I had a set at home that my aunt had given me, they were the Grossett & Dunlop version, with a greyish mauve covers, and each book had two stories. I loved those books so much. Then I started reading the Case Files and kept reading them until I got to college.

I've had this book in the stack of book by my bed for a long time, a few years, maybe. But I was waiting for the right mood before I picked it up. When I want to sink into a book, I usually want fiction. But with this book, I'd read a bit, set it aside, read something else, and then return to it for a while. That's the thing with nonfiction, there isn't the same need to find out what happens because usually, you already know.

I knew all about Nancy having multiple authors. Nerd that I was, I remember having my mom order the research material about Carolyn Keene from Encyclopedia Britannica.

What I loved about this book is the way it explained Nancy's creation and evolution alongside the women's rights movement. This book isn't just the history of Nancy Drew, but also a very thorough explanation of the history of the women's movement toward independence. Women want to be strong and independent and when it felt like the whole world was telling them it was wrong to want that, they had Nancy Drew to serve as an example. They read these books as a child, only to become adults who are told they need to be submissive to their husbands and stay at home and take care of babies. They weren't satisfied with this. Was Nancy solely responsible for this? Of course not, but she did play an important role. I think the problem is that most of us leave Nancy behind as we get older.

I will admit to feeling more than a little bit of sadness at reading this. I kept thinking of the child I was so many years ago, reading those Nancy Drew books, and I thought of how disappointed she would be with the person I've become. That same child who, when not reading, was sitting at a typewriter or a sketching out pictures. I was going to change the world with my words and my drawings. But I didn't grow up to be Nancy Drew. I don't solve mysteries or make great discoveries. No one is in the least affected by my words or my paintings. Nancy would not be pleased.

As I finished reading the book, I found myself thinking of all things I could do, or should do and yet, I know that inspiration will fade soon after I've returned the book to the shelf, and I'll just go back to wishing I could be Nancy Drew.

Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

2011-09-04T10:39:00.005-05:00

The reviews of this book led me to believe that it had a supernatural element. When something is described as being like the Addams Family, I assume there's some magic or potions involved. That was not the case, and because of that, I was a little disappointed.

This is still a fairly interesting read, just not what I was expecting or hoping for.

I've spent the weekend sick in bed, and the only reason I got out of bed on Saturday was to run to the library and pick this up. I thought it would be perfect for getting my mind off the fact that I couldn't breathe.

It did hold my interest, and I read the entire book in one day. I did stop a few times to sleep because all the allergy & sinus medicine was wearing me down.

This is the story of two parents completely devoted to what they call "art." They go into random places and create chaos, film it, and consider the reaction to be "art." As an art teacher and something of a wanna-be artist, I despise people who call nonsense like that "art." I know this is fiction, but there are lots of people like that out there - and this is why so many other people hate "art."

In this case, the family has become famous for this, they get grants- enough money that they live rather well -- and have exhibits at museums. People study their work and write about them. But in their devotion to their so-called art, they've used their children as props for years.

This story focuses quite a bit on the effect this has had on the children. They, understandably, have some issues, and have had a difficult time becoming adults, independent of their parents. Because of a series of problems they both suffer around the same time, they end up back at home and fear they have yet again been forced into their parents' "art." Now, as adults, they need to figure out how to deal with this manipulation.

The only thing I didn't like about this book was the ending. It seemed to be building up to something big, and it didn't happen. The end was too simple and didn't produce the result it should have. I was ready for something big and horrible. That's probably why I read the entire book in almost one sitting, I was waiting for the big end that didn't really happen.

It's a pretty good book though, but as I said in the beginning, not at all what I expected. I liked it, didn't love it, probably wouldn't have read it if I'd had a clearer idea as to what it was about.

Read: Sept. 4, 2011

One Day by David Nicholls

2011-08-27T10:40:00.001-05:00

I'm not a big fan of romances, so I probably had no business reading this book. However, I thought the previews for this movie seemed somewhat interesting, and my cousin mentioned wanting to see the movie, so I decided to read the book first. Really wish I hadn't, and more than that, I'm angry that I spent ten dollars to put this on my Kindle. At least if I'd waited for the library, it would have been free. But there was a long waiting list, and I wanted to read it before the movie came out.

I didn't like this book at all.

The first half of the book, I could sort of relate to Emma. She seemed like someone struggling to figure out what she wanted to do with her life, she wanted to be a writer, and decided to be a teacher. She felt like she was doing well as a teacher. But then, almost exactly halfway through the book, at the beginning of chapter 10, I lost all interest in this character. She's described as being on the floor, putting her clothes back on after having sex with the married headmaster of her school. I'm so tired of reading about all these pathetic single women who are so desperate that they must have sex with married men, and in this case, he was her boss. Had I not paid for this book, I would have stopped reading at this point.

The format of book is that one day in each year in Emma & Dexter's lives is described. The reader is supposed to see how their friendship evolves over the years. But I didn't see anything special happening between them. I saw two people stumbling through life, messing up more often than getting it right, who eventually ended up together because they'd burned all their bridges and no one else would have them.

Dexter was an arrogant jerk and Emma was a bit of loser. After a failed marriage and career, and a battle with drug and alcohol addiction, Dexter turns to Emma because no one else wants anything to do with him.

Stop reading this now if you plan to read the book yourself because I'm about to give away the end, which I found to be something of a shocker. (Haven't seen the movie, but I suspect it ends in a similar way.)

After Emma and Dexter finally end up together, and have been together for a few years, their relationship is described as something I felt was very bland and stagnant. I think it's supposed to sound comfortable and cozy. But I read it thinking, that's horrible, I'd rather be single than have that. If I'm going to spend my life with someone, I want to be crazy about that person. And that might mean I'll be single forever, but that's a chance I'm willing to take. But a few paragraphs later, Emma gets hit while riding her bicycle and dies. I think I was supposed to cry or at least be upset, but instead I thought, she's much better off than being stuck in that dull relationship with Dexter.

I didn't like this book at all, I didn't find it romantic or at all passionate. It's what happens when two people decide to give up on life and settle for whatever is available.

Read: August 27, 2011

A Small Fortune by Audrey Braun

2011-08-16T10:42:00.002-05:00

I saw this book advertised on Amazon Kindle's facebook page. A thriller, described as a great beach read, for only 2.99.

It is exactly as described, a great beach read, and well worth the $2.99.

A woman goes to Mexico on vacation with her husband and son and ends up getting kidnapped. She soons discovers that nothing is as it seems. Very fast paced story, lots of adventure, some violence, a bit of romance.

And to keep it from being just the usual trashy romance/thriller, there's a nice bit of feminism tossed in there. The main character had spent most of her life dependent on others, and then she begins to learn aobut the women in her family, and how strong they were and what they had to fight against and she realizes that she has the strength to do the same. A little sappy, maybe, but I liked it. Sometimes it takes a horrible experience to make a woman realize that she doesn't need a man to take care of her.

It's not great literature, isn't going to change the world, but it kept me entertained while I was outside working on my tan. I liked it.

Read August 16, 2011

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven

2011-08-12T01:28:00.003-05:00

I first read about this book on Oprah's website, something about travel books. I thought this sounded like something I would enjoy because I love to travel, and am always searching for travel books to learn about other people's experiences with travel. This is the story of two young women, just out of college who decide to visit China in the mid-80s, when people are just being allowed to visit.

The story intrigued me because when I was younger, my plan had been to travel the world as soon as I finished college. That didn't happen. I instead got a job right after college and was 28 the first time I left the country, much too old to have any desire to do the backpacking/hostels, student budget sort of traveling. I'm a grown-up, I only stay in nice hotels. But I've always been curious about what I missed by not traveling when I was younger. This book provides a glimpse into one of those adventures on which I missed out.

I couldn't put this book down. The story is so interesting and very well written.

I admire the courage these two women had, even if they were terribly naive and had no idea as to what to expect when they arrived in China. They were determined to discover the "real" China. No Holiday Inns or Hiltons. This was before the internet and the ever so valuable TripAdvisor. They had only a Lonely Planet guide to provide recommendations. Based on the descriptions of some of their lodging choices, it sounds absolutely miserable, and I was glad I was reading about it, and not experiencing it. Gave me a whole new appreciation for my own travel choices - my style being, the more modern the better. I enjoy learning about the history and seeing the locations and such, but when I'm in my hotel room, I want to be very much in the present.

As if navigating through a foreign land, with no real plan or understanding of the language wasn't difficult enough, the real problem, the author eventually discovered, was her companion's mental health. They didn't know each other very well before they took this trip. They were college friends -- you know how that works, you hang out together, you think you have lots in common because, well, you're at the same school, you take the same classes, you have the same brave, bold ideas about conquering the world, but once you enter the "real world" - set off the college campus, things change. Claire begins to show the classic signs of schizophrenia, but Susie (the author) is in denial, thinking it's just mood swings, the discomforts of foreign travel and homesickness. Then she can't deny it anymore.

What I liked most about this is the way the author presents her surroundings and the people she meets along the way. For me, as someone who travels alone quite a bit, the kindness of strangers is what rang most true in this story. My philosophy is that if you take the initiative to actually step out of your comfort zone and attempt to discover the world, the Universe will help you out along the way when you get in trouble. (Of course, news stories will confirm this is not always true, sometimes awful things happen and there isn't anyone there to help you.) But in my experience, I find that anytime I've been lost or confused, someone takes the time to point me in the right direction, and anytime I've been lonely or feeling abandoned, someone seems to appear and next thing I know I'm spending the evening with a new friend. Someday I hope to write my own collection of travel stories, but until then, I will happily read stories like this.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

2011-08-08T13:29:00.001-05:00

This has been on my "to read" list for years, like, most of my life. I've always felt like something of a poser among my friends for not having read it because it's the sort of book that they've all read, that one would think I would have read, but for some reason, hadn't. I have a big, fancy, copy of the book, the Essential Hitchhiker's Guide, that include this book and all the sequels, and I keep waiting for the right time to read it.

A while back, I found a paperback copy of the book for $1.50. I thought that would be easier to take with me when I traveled. So this summer, when I went to Europe, I packed my paperback copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy so that I would have something to read when I didn't have my Kindle with me.

I loved the book. It's silly and funny and interesting and yet, still very relevant. For example, while I was on my trip, I was waiting for a concert to begin at a stadium. It's the sort of event for which you arrive early to get a good spot and then sit around and wait and wait and wait for hours be allowed into the venue and then wait and wait and wait some more before the show starts. Because it had been raining off and on during the trip, I didn't want to take my Kindle, so I had my Hitchhiker's Guide. I happened to be reading the part about towels. A towel is essential, you must have a towel with you - according to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I put down my book and looked around me, and what I noticed were towels. The smart people had towels. They were sitting on towels, using towels to wipe the sweat from their faces, using towels to clean their hands (because everyone seemed to bring enough food to last for weeks during these events). Towels everywhere. The people who didn't have a towel were asking to borrow other people's towels or wishing they had a towel.

As those familiar with the book know, the answer to everything is 42. Here's a little story about me, when I was a teenager, I only had one real crush on an actual boy (as opposed to a celebrity), and my one big, huge, ridiculous, unrequited crush was on a boy who wore the number 42 on his football jersey. I always think of that when I think about the number 42. Was it the answer to everything? Not really, but it certainly seemed like it for a few years of my young life.

My only issue with the book is that my $1.50 paperback completely fell apart when I was reading it outside. At one point, there were pages flying all over the backyard. Glad I bought it on clearance -- and it was brand new, not something I bought at a used bookstore -- but not exactly high quality. This version of the book did have quit a bit at the end about the making of the movie, which was somewhat interesting, as I'm a big fan of the movie.

The Hand that First Held Mine by Maggie O'Farrell

2011-08-07T13:29:00.002-05:00

I picked this up on a trip to the library during which I had no idea what I wanted. Sort of like entering a grocery store hungry, without a list. I just wanted a book, something fiction, not too heavy, but still interesting.

I went straight to the new release section, looked through a few books, checked out about three of them. This was the one I decided to read first because I thought, based on the book's blurb, that this was a story about independent women succeeding in a difficult world and all that. I like stories about strong women, especially when those women are involved in art and/or writing, which these women were.

There are two story lines happening - one is a young family, with an infant, trying to figure out parenthood, this is happening in the present, the other story takes place in the past and is about a young woman named Lexie who leaves homes and goes to London to make it on her own.

I'm not big on the whole motherhood thing. I believe women are capable of doing much more than just being mothers and because I have that belief, it was very difficult for me to like this book because it focuses so much on the idea of motherhood and how there is nothing more important in the world than caring for a baby.

I found the descriptions of the new parents to be rather horrifying, so much detail about spit-up and diaper changing. Yuck.  And these were parents who sort of accidentally got pregnant, and that annoys me also. I have no patience for people who think it's okay to haphazardly bring children into the world.

But what bothered me much more was the story of Lexie.  I get the impression that I'm supposed to think of her as vibrant and strong and willful. But to me, she seemed like nothing more than a woman who gained almost all of her success by sleeping with important men. I find women like that to be an insult to women who actually get ahead based on their hard work. Lexie didn't know anything, didn't have any skills when she moved to London, so she hooked up with a married man who ran a magazine. He hired her and trained her and it's supposed to be a great love story, but I don't think there's anything more pathetic than women who have affairs with married men. Doesn't matter that his wife was evil and the daughter wasn't really his. He was simply weak for remaining in the situation and Lexie was an idiot for going along with it.

Then he dies, and Lexie is on her own for a while, until she begins an affair with a successful newsman. But she wants nothing more to do with him after she gets pregnant. Again, I get the impression I'm supposed to view her behavior as being independent, but she just seems a bit childish and selfish. I will never understand why women get involved with men and then have children fathered by men that they think are such jerks. That makes the women seem as foolish as the men with which they are involved. But we're led to believe that Lexie is an amazing mother, always dragging her child to work assignments with her - because, you know, that's good for children?

Point being, I didn't like this character, and being that she was the main character and eventually both story lines led directly to her and her greatness, I didn't like the book very much.

I thought the characters behaved unreasonably. The young father in the current day storyline seemed like a bit of an idiot, when he finally finds out the truth about his past, I don't think he and his father acted fairly toward the woman who raised him. I don't want to give away what happens, in case you want to read the book. It's something of a surprise, though most readers probably figured it out before it's all revealed.

I didn't like this book much, I didn't like any of the characters in this book and sort of wished I hadn't bothered to read this book.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

2011-08-04T13:29:00.001-05:00

I read this because I kept seeing ads for the movie, and I always want to read the book before I watch the movie.

I liked the book. I thought it was a very interesting story and it had interesting characters.

However, a lot of people that I respect have had issues with the story. Big, huge issues, claiming the story is horrible because it's told from the perspective of a white woman. While I can see their point, I also think they may be getting a bit angrier than necessary.

Yes, the story is told from the perspective of a white woman, and that's made clear. Also, at several points in the story, the women point out their discomfort at having a white woman "helping" them, they feel like it's their story, not hers. More importantly though, I felt like the white woman telling the story goes through the process of acknowledging her privilege, and realizing that things are wrong and needed to change. Skeeter knows that she's putting herself and these women telling their stories in danger. While one can say a white woman shouldn't have been the one to tell the story, wouldn't it have been almost impossible during that time for a black woman to get a story published? Maybe I'm wrong in assuming that. Skeeter had the resources and the time to write the stories. I don't think she ever acted as if she believed she was doing these women a favor because it was benefiting her as much as them.

I thought this was a nice story about a woman who, after attending college, returns home and realizes that things are not right in her community or her own home, for that matter. She has the choice of becoming just another Southern housewife, or becoming the person she needs to be, someone who wants to make a difference in the world. This is also about forming friendships between women of different ages and backgrounds and races. But mostly, this is the story about "The Help" - the women who cleaned the houses and raised the children of the white families. Most of them were in some pretty bad situations, and yet, they didn't have many other options with regard to finding work.

I liked that this story made people aware of a situation that a lot of people probably didn't know much about. I find it difficult to complain about anything that makes people more aware of injustices and the need for civil rights. At the same time, this was an entertaining story. It doesn't set itself up to be a documentary, and certainly there may be some inaccuracies, but I didn't see anything harmful about the book or the movie, for that matter.

I'm the first to admit that my knowledge about the deep south is fairly limited so I did find this somewhat eye-opening. I enjoyed the book and the movie, which I watched the week after I finished reading the book. I didn't love it, but I liked it quite a bit.

High Fidelity

2011-07-08T03:13:00.000-05:00

I finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy over the weekend. Devoured the last two books and then was faced with that horrible, horrible feeling of knowing that whatever I read next is going to be disappointing. I spent all day just looking through the books in my shelves - disappointed with everything I picked up. (And yes, that's what I did all day, it's one of the advantages of not having any real responsibilities.) I seem to buy mostly non-fiction books, but at the moment I was craving fiction, wanting entertainment and escape, not education. I couldn't even go to the library to look because they were closed for July 4th.

I have a stack of books on the floor by my bed. (I sort of have books all over my house.) Initially, that stack was supposed to be the books I wanted to read right away. But it doesn't always work out like that. In fact, a few of the books are a little dusty. I get distracted with new books and library books.

But then I noticed a copy of High Fidelity in that stack of books.
I saw the movie High Fidelity years ago,the weekend it opened (I remember I went with my friend Caroline and I'd just returned from a trip to Chicago). Because I liked the movie, I picked up a copy of the book at Half Price Books. But then I never got around to reading it. Since then, I've read a few other books by Nick Hornby and I've enjoyed all of them. Fast reads, interesting characters.

This is about Rob, a single guy who owns a record store. He's just broken up with his girlfriend and he's trying to figure out what to do next. I liked this book for the same reason I've enjoyed other books by this author. I understand these characters. They're the kind of people I hang out with. All the crazy things going through Rob's head as he's trying to decide what he wants or who he wants and why he wants what he wants make sense to me. Maybe my friends and I are just weirdos, but the conversations that take place in the book are not that different from some of the late night conversations my friends and I have had.

I like how Hornby finds the humor in real life situations. He recognizes that life is funny a lot of the time. Not stupid funny, but absurd, "I can't believe this is really happening" funny. But it's also serious and sad in parts. It's about growing up and figuring out what you want to do with your life. Maybe I can relate a little too well. But I enjoyed the book quite a bit. Can't believe it took me so long to read it. Now I'm telling all my friends they need to read it -- like it's a brand new book when in fact, it's been out for years.

Planning to watch the movie on Friday, but as I was thinking of a London theme for the movie watching get together, I was reminded that the movie takes place in Chicago, not London, like in the book. It's been so long since I've watched the movie, I remember only that I liked it. I don't remember it well enough to compare it to the book, which is why I'm watching it again tomorrow.

I consider this a must read, especially for single people in their mid-thirties, and people who love things like music and books and movies as much as they love other people.

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

2011-07-03T04:37:00.000-05:00

As soon as I finished reading Catching Fire, I had to download Mockingjay. I pity the people who read these when they first came out and had to wait for the third book. That would have driven me crazy.

At this point in the story, the Districts are rebelling against the Capital. The rebel forces, led by District 13, want Katniss to be their Mockingjay, a symbol of the revolution. Their revolution is going to be televised.

Her home is gone, the entire District 12 bombed and burned to the ground. While she agrees to be their leader - at least in appearances - she's growing tired of being used, lied to and manipulated. She bristles against the strict lifestyle of District 13, doesn't get along with their president and Peeta is being held hostage by the Capital.

I couldn't put this book down. I read all day. I didn't even stop to eat. I couldn't stop reading.

Near the end, I got a little confused as they were traveling through tunnels trying to reach the President's mansion. I was having trouble visualizing some of what was happening, but not so much trouble that I didn't still enjoy the story.

I loved these characters so much. Not just the main characters of Katniss and Peeta, but also Finnick and Johanna and Boggs.

Several of my students told me they cried at the end of the book. This had me worried, I was imagining something absolutely horrible. The end is very sad, but it wasn't what I imagined and for that I was a little relieved.

This book is very violent -- they are fighting a revolution -- and it deals with some very heavy subject matter. But it makes it clear why the uprising was necessary. These people had to be taken out of power.

While this story is a fantasy about a futuristic world, it can also serve as something of a cautionary tale. Our obsession with reality TV and contests that involve people being humiliated. Even the parts about how the victors had to develop a talent -- it made me think of how the people on reality shows such as "Real Housewives" do things like write cook books and design handbags. Also, something that struck me is the disparity between the wealthy and the working class people. It's the direction in which this country is moving as the middle class disappears. How far will it go? Kind of scary to think about.

Now that I've read the entire series, I'm at a loss at trying to figure out what to read next. Whatever follows is bound to be a disappointment, and I can't think of anything similar that I might enjoy. I'm quite concerned about this at the moment. I know, what a difficult life I lead.

Catching Fire

2011-07-01T03:55:00.002-05:00

When I discussed reading this series with my students, several of the boys said I should just skip the second book and go straight to the third book. Well, I didn't listen to them because that would be silly. When I asked them why, they couldn't give me a clear answer, the best I got out of them was, "It's just not that good."

I liked this book, I actually liked this book a lot more than Hunger Games. I started this book a while back, and then set it aside and read a few other books. (Mostly because I had this on my Kindle and tend to read the Kindle when I'm away from home. When I'm home I read actual books, and I had several I needed to finish now that I'm home for summer vacation.)

When I went back to reading this though, I couldn't put it down. I was probably on chapter two or three when I started back on this book Friday and I read until I finished it. This book has more of the romance I'd hoped for in the first book, but in noticing that, I could understand why the boys might have skipped this. My students are fourteen and fifteen year old boys and I can just imagine the looks on their faces when they read that Peeta climbs into Katniss' bed to comfort her after while she's having nightmares. I'm kind of surprised the boys even kept reading the book after that scene. Books 1 & 3 (which I read as soon as I finished this book) focus more on fighting and war, so of course these boys enjoyed that more.

But I liked this book. Katniss and Peeta are forced back into the Hunger Games, this time with other past victors -- to show that even the strongest cannot escape the power of the Capital. But this isn't enough to stop the uprisings in the Districts, influenced by Katniss' defiance of the Gamemakers at the end of the first book.

Lots of action, the story keeps you guessing, likable characters, and enough romance to make me happy, not so much to ick me out.

I'm going to recommending these books to everyone.

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

2011-06-19T00:58:00.001-05:00

A while back, during a drive to and from Austin, I listened to the audio book, The Paris Wife, about Hemingway's wife in Paris. That sparked my interest in Hemingway. After I finished The Paris Wife, I went to Half Price Books and bought a copy of A Moveable Feast, with the intention of reading it right away. But I got distracted and the book remained on the floor next to the couch for the next two months.

Then I recently started hearing about the new Woody Allen movie, Midnight in Paris, and I kept hearing about how bits of the dialogue were taken from Hemingway's Moveable Feast. I figured before I watched the movie, maybe I should read the book (though I've been told the movie is completely enjoyable without having read Moveable Feast.)

Today, I wanted to spend some time out in the sun reading, so I decided to pick up this book off the floor where it has sat since I went out that night and bought it -- so much for having to have it right then.

I've only read one other book by Hemingway, that being A Farewell to Arms. I love that book, but a lot of people I know do not enjoy Hemingway's work. But I have to say, I like Moveable Feast quite a bit.

The writing is very sparse, very to the point, which I know is what some of the complaints are with regard to Hemingway's writing. But it works so well with these stories.

These are his memories of his days in Paris, as a young writer, before he became well known or successful. (Same time period covered in the book The Paris Wife which is why I initially had wanted to read it.) In the preface he explains that the stories could very well be fiction. (They're being written about 40 years after the events happened.) During the time period this story covers, he was very young and ambitious and very poor. He was newly married, with a baby. He spent his days in cafes, working on his writing. He spent his evenings drinking with other famous writers and artists - the Lost Generation.

Most of all though, it's the story of Paris. His writing details the streets he walks, the restaurants and parks he visits. Having been to Paris a few times and being very much in love with the city, I enjoyed remembering these locations and visualizing them as the stories unfolded. This was after the war, when Paris was rebuilding and people could live there, and live well, for very little money. He emphasizes that he didn't make much money on his writing as a reporter, but they still had a place to live, money for bread and good wine and time for fun. They could afford to travel and gamble. They hiked and skied and they enjoyed their life despite being rather poor financially.

In the end, it was success and the money that came with it that destroyed the happy world of Paris in which he and his wife lived. "I wish I had died before I ever loved anyone but her," he writes of his first wife, forty something years after he fell in love with someone else.

There are so many beautiful lines in this book. Had I not been lying outside in the sun reading, I would have been obnoxiously underlining passages. From his descriptions of his own writing process, I get the impression he did a lot of self editing, which is probably the result of what is considered his stark prose. But it's beautiful in this context.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in writing, because he writes quite a bit about what it took to become a writer, or anyone interested in Paris and especially to anyone interested in the so-called Lost Generation of Paris in the 20s. This book is full of mentions of people such as Gertrude Stein and Ezra Pound, Sherwood Anderson and Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald.

And on the subject of Fitzgerald, the story about him and Hemingway taking a trip to a from Lyon would make a hilarious movie. Why hasn't that been done yet? Hemingway gets on the train, thinking Fitzgerald is on it, only to have the train leave without Fitzgerald. They finally meet up in Lyon, and go to retrieve the Fitzgerald's car, which has had the top removed because, "Zelda doesn't like tops on cars." They have to keep stopping because it keeps raining on them, and then Fitzgerald decides he's dying of a fever and expects Ernest to take care of him. Then he's upset because he's never spent a night away from his wife (except, as Ernest can't help noticing, he wasn't with her the night before because the two of them were in Lyon together.) Very funny.

Private Patient by P.D. James

2011-06-18T01:50:00.000-05:00

I consider P.D. James to be one of my favorite writers. I started reading her books back when I was in high school and since then I've always known I could depend on her for a quality story.

I bought this as soon as it was released and then set it aside, waiting until I had time to read it. These are the sort of books to which you want to devote solid, consecutive hours. There are lots of characters and lots of details.

Well, I started this book, and then set it aside because I wanted to read something that became available at the library, and then I was reading a book on my Kindle because I took a trip, and point being, it felt like it took me forever to get through this book. It's easy to put down because it seems to move fairly slow. Problem was, I found myself at times confused by all the characters and their connections to each other.

This wasn't one of my favorite books by James. I'm used to her writing and I like her writing style, so all the details and character background didn't bother me, but I wouldn't recommend this to someone who hasn't previously read her work. I tend to like the way she develops such a complex world for her characters. But this time, it felt like a little too much. Maybe because I was never able to devote large blocks of time to the book, it didn't flow all that well for me.

Some of the coincidences seemed a little ridiculous. There were too many side storylines. Just as I'd get interested in the case and it's progression, the next page would be a different place entirely, another character's dilemna. I started to find that bothersome. And as a long time admirer of Adam Dalgliesh, I suppose I should be happy for him now that he's in a relationship. But the more I learned about the relationship in this book, the more annoyed I became. It began to sound like he was marrying a naive little girl and that kind of creeped me out.

Also, the book tries to tie up all the loose ends for everyone in the story. By the end of the book, I was just thinking, "End already."

Overall though, I enjoyed the book, but I think it could have benefited from some heavy editing.

Finished reading June 18, 2011, 1 a.m.

Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

2011-06-04T01:24:00.092-05:00

I teach at a high school, and before I downloaded the book, I asked my students if any of them had read it. The response was very positive. And it might help to know that my kids are not big readers. Several kids told me it was the first book they'd ever read for fun.

I was trying to decide on a book to download to my Kindle on a trip that was going to involve several hours in an airport and on a plane. It was only $5, and I wanted something quick and interesting that would keep me distracted from the drudgery that is air travel. This worked quite well.

I knew this was a popular book, and that it was the first of a series and that they are now making a movie about it, but I had no idea what the book was about.
In the beginning, I was startled by how harsh this story was. I read the first chapter or two and wasn't sure I wanted to continue. A reality show in which people fight to the death? And the contestants are forced into it against their will by a tyrannical government? Oh my. Wasn't expecting this.

And then I paused and thought about the things I read when I was a teenager -- books by Christopher Pike - filled with sex and drugs and demons and vampires and zombies and murder, always a murder of some sort - and Joan Lowry Nixon's stories that seemed to always involve someone being stalked or kidnapped and any other book I could find that involved a criminal or supernatural element or preferably both.

So really, I shouldn't be surprised to find that a book for teens is a bit harsh. Teens need this to stay interested, and they're at a point in their lives where they are just beginning to grasp the concept of "big adult" ideas like death and violence. Maybe.

I will say this book completely held my interest. I loved the characters. As an adult, I found myself sort of wishing for a bit more romance -- but my students told me in advance that I'd find none of that here - nothing more than a few hints. That was okay though.

The story is intense. The main character, Katniss, is such an admirable character. She's loyal and smart and skilled and she is literally fighting for her life. I don't want to give away too much in describing the book. Lots of twists and turns in the storyline. It's nonstop action and I enjoyed it very much.

I didn't finish the book on my trip, and carried my Kindle around in my purse for quite a while and would take it out and read it every chance I got -- between acts at concerts, during halftime at basketball games, my lunch break at school. I finished the book while I was sick in bed, and immediately downloaded the second book of the series, I liked it that much. (And nothing to do with the book, but I love my Kindle and being able to get a new book without ever leaving my bed or even having to turn on the bedside light.)

However, I should warn reader, I had some fairly awful nightmares after finishing this book -- trapped at the end of the world and desperate for water - granted I was sick and running a fever and taking all kinds of cold and allergy medicine to try to get through the last week of school, but still, they were some frightening dreams. But it takes a well written story to leave that kind of impression, right?

Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

2011-05-12T13:24:00.005-05:00

I kept seeing this book mentioned in places. Then it won the Pulitzer and I decided to see if it was available at the library. It was and I decided to grab it before there was a long waiting list for it, as I knew there would be once there was more press about the Pulitzer.

The book doesn't read like a novel, but rather a bunch of short stories about some of the same people. There lives intersect at different points. And the stories are not in chronological order. The stories are interesting and I enjoyed reading them. However, I felt like I was reading the introduction to a story and the actual story never happened. We meet all these people, we learn a little bit about them, but nothing much happens to them.

What I wanted to do, after I'd finished reading the book, is go back through the story and map out who was in what story and where their lives crossed. Then maybe it would have made more sense - but the book was due at the library, and by then there was a long waiting list. I don't mind paying late fees, but I don't want to be the jerk holding onto the book everyone is waiting to read.

Most of the stories take place in New York, and involve people in the music or entertainment industry. I found this of interest because that's a field with which I'm familiar and I've spent a lot of time in the East Village. I thought the past stories were much stronger than the future stories. I found the stories that took place well into the future to be a little silly. She was trying to make a statement about social media and smart phones and our dependency on technology and maybe she's accurate, but right now, it seems too out there.

There were a few moments in which the characters reflected on growing older -- "being visited by the goon squad" -- hence the title -- which I found to be especially poignant. These people wanted so much out of their lives and often it didn't quite work out.

I was also bothered by the whole, bad girl makes good bit. Runaway teenage prostitute, kleptomaniac who turns into the perfect mom in the perfect marriage. Stories like that just make me roll my eyes. This story took up so much of the end of the book and it caused me like the story less than I might have otherwise. I thought there were more interesting characters on which to focus.

But I like that it was different, and it made me think and it made me want to revisit the book at some point. And it's a book that I wanted to talk about and really wish some of my friends would read it, but that seldom happens.

Composed: A Memoir by Rosanne Cash

2011-04-17T14:27:00.000-05:00

A teacher at school noticed me reading this book during a break and said, "Oh, I love Johnny Cash. Is that book any good?"

"It's very good, " I said. That's all I said, because I needed to get back to my classroom and didn't feel like explaining that this was a book by Rosanne Cash, about Rosanne Cash. If she wanted a story about Johnny Cash, there are probably plenty out there, but this isn't one of them. And besides all that, it wasn't like I was going to let her borrow this book, she's had my copy of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo since October, so I'm certainly not letting her have any more of my books.

If someone is wanting a book full of dark family secrets and confessions, this is probably not the book for you. I'm sure that Rosanne Cash could have written something like that, if she'd chosen. I'm going to guess she has plenty of stories she could tell, and it would be within her right, because those stories are a part of her life. But instead she remains on a higher ground, showing respect for her family and choosing to keep their worst moments private.

While she hints at the pain caused by divorce and the addictions that haunted members of her family, she leaves out the details. Instead of a sordid celebrity tell-all, this book is instead a series of essays about her reflections on the events of her life. She writes less about the actual events and more about the way these events have affected her thoughts and her actions. She writes about how she's approached life's milestones - living on her own for the first time, establishing her career as a musician and a writer, falling in love, becoming a wife and a mother, falling in love again, becoming a mother to a son, losing parents and other loved ones, and learning to forgive. She writes beautifully about these events and the way that she turned to art and music and examined her own ideas and beliefs and paid attention to her dreams.

After reading about how she listened to Miles Davis while painting, I started playing Kind of Blue for my students while they worked.

I've always been a fan of her music, which is why my sister gave me a copy of this book for Christmas. But after reading this book, I've gained a new respect for her. Shortly after reading this book -- I was able to see her perform in Fort Worth at the Main Street Arts Festival. (And if you don't already follow her on twitter, I very much recommend you do, she's funny and smart.)

Portobello by Ruth Rendell

2011-03-20T17:57:00.000-05:00

I'm a huge Ruth Rendell fan and will read anything she writes. This book was recommended on a travel site when someone said they were looking for a book about London. London is one of my favorite cities, so I was anxious to read this. But I didn't find it to paint that clear of a picture of the city. I've read other books by Rendell that I thought did a better job.

I would not list this as one of my favorite Rendell books. It took me forever to read this, I kept setting it aside and reading something else. The characters were so strange, almost a bit too strange. The novel has several different characters, only casually connected to each other. The focus is on their different addictions, habits and obsessions.

One of the main characters seems to be obsessed with a particular kind of sugar free candy. And he makes such a big deal about this. He's worried others will be aware of his so-called addiction and fears that he has so break the habit before he gets married. I couldn't quite grasp what the big deal was. It was candy. Who isn't a bit addicted to candy? I guess the point wasn't that it was candy, but that he felt he couldn't live without it.

There wasn't much action to the story, which is probably why I had no issue with setting the book aside for weeks at a time. The characters are fairly well-developed, this is one of Rendell's strong points. But I didn't like most of the characters, and wasn't especially concerned when bad things happened to some of them.

I did find the ending to be very nice though and was glad I stuck with the book. Seems like the last few Rendell books, I found myself horrified by the endings and wishing I'd not spent so much time with the book, this was just the opposite.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender

2011-03-20T16:36:00.000-05:00

It was the cover and the title that drew me to this book. I noticed it while wandering around a bookstore one day. It sounded interesting. Rose takes a bite of lemon cake one day and can feel the emotions of the person who baked the cake. Luckily, I didn't buy the book and instead waited until it was available at the library.

As much as I was looking forward to reading this, I was quite let down by the actual experience of reading it.

The story had potential. Rose has a rather bizarre ability. But it felt like three fourths of the book just described this curse and how she coped. It was described in such a way that it began to not make any sense at all. I can understand a feeling of sadness or anger. But the author goes on and on about how she can tell the exact location of where the cheese was made, where the cows were born, if the factory workers had a fight with their spouse. It got ridiculous. Maybe I'm just having a bit of trouble suspending belief, but if this sense, curse, or whatever it was, really affected the way something tasted, after a while wouldn't a person simply become accustomed to it?

Another thing that bothered me about the book is that Rose is almost nine years old when she discovers this, but she understands it at the same level as an adult would. I tend to not like books about young children who are presented as adults. I spend much of my life with teenagers and while I do view them as fairly intelligent and knowledgeable about many things, I can't imagine them examining feelings in such a way, so I certainly can't imagine a nine year old doing so. Nothing else in the book indicated that she was especially intelligent.

Her brother though is described as a genius, and yet, he can't get into any of the schools he wants to attend. Her brother seems to suffer from some rather severe anti-social issues. And yet, he has a mother who adores him, and a father that always tries to do what is best for his family. The brother's issue is never fully explained, and in the end it's all just very, very confusing.

I'm generally a fan of magical realism. But in this case, it didn't quite work for me. Everything else was so simple and normal, and throwing in these bits of surrealism felt awkward. I wasn't able to suspend my belief enough to accept this story. I kept thinking maybe the supernatural abilities mentioned were a metaphor of some sort, but if that was the case I never quite figured it out. I kept reading, waiting for the big reveal, the deep, dark secret that must be triggered all these bizarre experiences, but again, never happened.

There wasn't much action in the story. The characters, despite their odd abilities, lived very dull lives. I kept waiting for the story to begin, for the action to happen. It never did. And in the end I was very disappointed because none of it made sense.

The characters are sad and confused, but they do nothing to try and improve their situation. They remain very childlike in the lack of knowledge that life gets better as a person gets older, that a person doesn't have to remain crushed by the weight of their parents' experiences, that the opportunity to move on a create a life of one's own is available. That rant there comes from the ending of the book, when Rose tries to justify her brother's behavior. Life had become too much. But why? There's never an explanation.

I found the story frustrating. I needed more of an explanation as to why things happened. I think this story could have been interesting, but wasn't.

I really don't recommend this book. Despite the pretty cover, with the delicious looking piece of cake, the story was rather bland and lacking flavor.

The Paris Wife by Paula McClain

2011-03-19T18:00:00.000-05:00

Put Paris in the title, and I'm automatically interested. Set the story during the twenties, the Jazz Age/Lost Generation, and feature characters such as Scott and Zelda, Gertrude and Alice and Ernest Hemingway and yeah, it's being added to the "to be read" list. I'm fascinated by that time period.

This story cut to the top of my "to be read" list when I needed an audiobook for my drive to Austin. So many hours in the car, have to try to be productive with my time. So I checked out a few audiobooks that have been on my ever growing "to be read" list. I was so happy to see this available, as the book is fairly new and there is usually a long waiting list for new books.

I really enjoyed this story. Easily passed the time during the drive, and I barely noticed as I sat in a huge traffic snare on the way home. (I believe it took about an hour and a half to move less than ten miles.)

I admit I don't know a lot about Hemingway. Of his work, I've only read a few short stories and A Farewell to Arms - which I consider one of my favorite books. But most people are familiar with the idea of Hemingway, "a man's man", a fighter and hunter, served in the war and traveled around the world. This is the story of his early twenties, while living in Paris, as told through the eyes of his wife.
Hadley is the "Paris wife," the first of four wives he would eventually have. She was the one who was with him before he became known as one of the greatest writers of his generation. She was with him when all he had was his dreams and ideas, when they lived in a small apartment above a dance hall in Paris because it was all they could afford.

Hadley's 29 when she meets the handsome 21 year old Ernest Hemingway. Already he's a character, well known among his group of friends as being something of a ladies man. Hadley's friends try to warn her away from him, but she falls hard for this man. Even at 21, he possessed the qualities that turned him into the myth that the world would eventually know. He was passionate and strong. Hadley had lived a sheltered life, she'd been devastated by the suicide of her father and the death of her sister. Her attempt at attending college had been short-lived. She lived with her mother and cared for her until she died. Hemingway represented everything that was missing from Hadley's life. Despite being younger than her, he'd already seen much of the world, having served in the war and been wounded. He'd already been in love and had his heart broken. He was ready to take on the world, while Hadley was still hesitate to enter a world outside of her home.

Newly married, they have plans to move to Rome, but then Hemingway is told Paris is the place to be - that's where all the writers and the artists are living now. So they move to Paris and become friends with Ezra Pound and his wife, and Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas. In the beginning though, this is simply the story of a couple in the early stages of marriage, still learning about each other and getting used to their living arrangements, as Ernest is trying to establish himself as a writer. Unlike Ernest, Hadley doesn't have any grand ambitions. She wants a simple life, she wants a happy home and to please her husband. As depicted in this book, she is a sharp contrast to the other women in their social circle. This was a time in which the women in Paris were seeking their independence, trying to become equal partners with the men in their lives, selecting their own careers and interests. Also this was a time in which couples were openly and boldly redefining long-held ideas about relationships. Hadley's own desires seemed old-fashioned and out of place and as some of her friends commented, "Very American."

As someone who can't relate to the yearning to have a simple life and family, I had trouble relating to Hadley. She seemed much too dependent on her husband, and weak. She allowed him to make all the decisions about their life together. I couldn't help but cringe when she describes him keeping track of her menstrual cycle in a notebook. She's a 31 year old woman at the time, allowing her 22 year old husband to tell her when and how to use birth control. She seems content to hand over all of her autonomy, without question, and does so because she loves her husband so much.

As Hemingway becomes more successful and more involved in their circle of friends, he begins to feel entitled to live as the others do. Suddenly his wife isn't enough for him. Why can't he do like his friends and have a girl on the side? Everyone else is doing it. And so he begins an affair with one of Hadley's friends. An affair which Hadley tolerates, even allowing this woman into their home and into their bed in one especially horrible instance. She seems to do this because she feels she has no other choice, she loves her husband so much and after years of doing as he wants, doesn't seem to know how to do otherwise.

Considering that Hemingway's future relationships didn't work out too well, I have to wonder if maybe a better way of loving him might have been to exert some force, to take back some control and issue a few demands. Maybe Hadley could have saved her marriage as well as her husband. But that wasn't the kind of person she was. So instead, she agreed to a divorce so he could marry his mistress.

I don't know how accurate the story is. I don't know that it matters. Some reviews I've read of the book say it's too romantic and sentimental. But isn't that sort of fitting with the story of Hemingway? Shouldn't a story about him and those who loved him be a bit extreme? I wasn't looking for a dry, textbook version of their story. With this book, I got exactly what I was hoping for, a romantic story about two people very much in love with each other who did their best to make things work, but ultimately failed. But more than that, this novel painted a picture of a time period that I revisit as often as possible through literature and film, a Paris filled with artists and intellectuals, people trying to change the world or create their own brand new world, using their words and art. The story is written in such a way that readers become easily immersed in the Roaring Twenties of Paris, the words recreating the energy that much have existed within that atmosphere, ideas drifting in and out of cafes and salons.

And now I'm off to find a copy of Moveable Feast to read about Ernest's version of this time period.

Finished: March 18, 2011

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

2011-02-10T16:55:00.000-06:00

I'd seen this book around for a while, but it wasn't until I saw a trailer for the upcoming movie that I decided I wanted to read the book. I added it to my reading list for this year. I picked twelve books, assigned them each to a month, and Water for Elephants was my January book.

I've had a Kindle since October, but I've avoided buying books for it, opting instead for the free books - classics and short stories. I was planning to take a trip to New Jersey at the end of January and it seemed like a good reason to buy a new book for the Kindle.

Snow in Jersey cancelled my trip. But the following week an ice storm had me trapped at home. I climbed in bed, under a pile of blanket with my Kindle and it's lighted cover and began to read Water for Elephants.

The experience taught me that I very much love my Kindle, it is an excellent bed partner. Water for Elephants though was just okay.

The story is interesting enough. A man in a nursing home is remembering his younger days when he worked as a vet at the circus. The circus traveled by train, a small village almost, with workers and performers. There are some very unusual and interesting characters in this group. The author did quite a bit of research. At the end she explains that a lot of the events were taken from actual stories she found in her research.

I never felt a strong connection to the characters. A lot of the story was kind of gruesome and violent, and each event like that cause me to pull away from the story a bit more and care a bit less about the characters involved. The romance in the story, which is an important element, left me cold. I never understood what was so amazing about Marlena other than she was beautiful and Jacob was young and inexperienced. I think at that point in his life, any woman would seem rather spectacular.

Another thing that kept bothering me about the novel is that I had trouble visualizing life on the train. I could never picture how they were traveling from car to car, or the way things were set up. That might be the result of my limited knowledge of trains, but I found that frustrating because I was trying to imagine in and never quite figured it out.

The book was okay, I didn't hate it, but I think I expected to like it much more. I thought it would be more romantic or more fun, and it wasn't, not for me at least.

I know a lot of people like this book, so I wouldn't warn anyone away from it, maybe it's just not type of story. I'm still very much looking forward to seeing the movie.

finished reading February 9, 2011

I Still Dream About You by Fannie Flagg

2011-01-17T22:19:00.001-06:00

Despite loving the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes, I've never read anything by Fannie Flagg, so I don't know how this book compares to her other work. I very much enjoyed this book and plan to read more by her.

I was trying to find a book to add to my Kindle while I was traveling over the holidays, so I was looking at new books, and that's how I heard about this book. (I ended up not buying it for the Kindle, instead I put my name on the waiting list for it at the library. I've had my Kindle since October and have yet to buy a book for it, but it's got lots of free books on it. I'm sure when I start traveling more, I'll feel compelled to purchase some books for it.)

I found myself very drawn to the initial description of the book. Maggie's tired of her life. She's making plans to end it, careful, well-thought out plans. But her plans keep getting interrupted. When she was younger, she was Miss Alabama, and she imagined big things for her life. But life didn't work out the way she'd hoped. Maybe I can relate a little too well to this character, that's probably why I felt so drawn to the book. I was never the winner of a beauty pageant, but I used to think life would be much more interesting than it has turned out to be and not so sad and disappointing.

"What if you're just tired all the time?" she says at one point, when trying to explain her decision. This is the story of what happens when a person has simply lost interest in life. Life has become more work, and less fun. Getting up in the morning feels like a chore and it doesn't make sense that you have to keep on living, especially when no one is going to be deeply affected by the loss.

It wasn't that her life was bad, it just wasn't the life she'd wanted. She's not one to whine and complain or seek pity. She's going to do something about her situation, she's going to end her disappointment. She doesn't want to upset anyone in the process, she doesn't want to cause any trouble or leave any loose ends. She pays all her bills and she packs up her clothes and gives away all her money to charity. She knows exactly what she needs to do.

But also, this is the story of how life interferes when a person is making plans. And maybe if you wait long enough, everything will turn out okay in the end. Maybe. I don't want to give away from happens.

What makes this book truly enjoyable though is that it just about Maggie, it's also about the people in her life, her co-workers, past and present, and it's about the community in which she lives. The story takes place in Birmingham, Alabama. Without being preachy, the story touches on the effects of the city's troubled history, involving racism, as well as general attitudes about class struggle and issues facing women. These topics are addressed as they relate to the characters' lives, without providing any sort of political platform.

This is a very well written book, providing a variety of interesting, funny and likable characters. I read this last weekend, when the weather was awful and it was snowing outside. It is exactly the type of book that works on days like that, when I need an escape from the real world and want to emerge myself in a whole new place, filled with people I wouldn't mind knowing in real life. The story is funny and sad and uplifting and kind of strange -- the way life is supposed to be.

finished reading: January 9, 2011

2010 favorites and my list for 2011

2010-12-31T02:19:00.000-06:00

I would like to make a top ten list for this past year, but I only read twenty books this year, well, actually twenty-one books. So a top ten list would be kind of silly.

My favorite books of the past year are the Millennium Series -- Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire and Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Loved those books. At the beginning of the school year, I let someone borrow my copy of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and haven't seen it since, no mention of it, so not even sure if the person is reading it or not. But I decided to use that as my excuse to purchase the deluxe box set of the series.

I also really liked The Invisible Bridge. I thought that book was kind of amazing. Now I'm even thinking of visiting Budapest this summer.

So those are my top four books. Now I can start working on my reading list for next year.

I joined an online book club that has a reading challenge -- twelve books that have to be books that have been on our reading list for at least year, plus two alternates.

Right now this is my list:

1. Witching Hour by Anne Rice (I've wanted to read this for years, I read the vampire books, but never this one. I think I've been waiting for the right time to read it, a long break and a dark mood.)

2. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (I've liked everything he's written and have had a copy of this sitting by my bed for a couple of years. I enjoyed the movie quite a bit.)

3. Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Woman who Created Her (another book I've had for years but have never gotten around to reading)

4. Water for Elephants (I want to read this before the movie comes out!)

5. Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood (I started to read this last year, but knowing that it would be dark, I didn't feel I could handle it. But it's something I must read, I read everything by Atwood.)

6. Persuasion by Jane Austen (I need to read something by Austen, and this was the book mentioned in Lake House. I bought a very nice copy of this at Barnes and Noble a while back, but have never gotten around to reading it.)

7. Hitchhiker’s Guide the Galaxy (another one that has been on the reading list for years)

8. The Lacuna by Barbara Kingslover (Last year, I bought this for my mother because she's a big Barbara Kingslover fan, I planned to give it to her for Christmas, but when I saw that the book was about Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, I decided I would try to read it before giving it to my mother. A year later, still sitting by the bed.)

9. Schulz and Peanuts: A biography (another one I received as soon as the book was published and have yet to read it.)

10. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (this is the Oprah influence here -- I've already read Tale of Two Cities)

11. Private Patient by PD James (PD James is one of my favorite authors, not sure why I've not read this yet. I'm sure I bought it as soon as it was released. But I always try to wait until I know I'll have a lot of time to read, hers are not books that work well with only a few pages a day.)

12. Fried Green Tomatoes (Loved this movie and have wanted to read the book for years)

Alternates
13. Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy (I read Tess when I was a teenager and I would like to read it again as an adult.)
14. On The Road by Jack Kerouac (Everyone should read this at some point in her life, right?)

Other books I wanted to include on the list - Mists of Avalon, A Town Like Alice, and David Copperfield.

Something about which I am very embarrassed is that I've only read one book by Dickens (Tale of Two Cities) and have never read anything by Jane Austen. I recently tried reading Pride and Prejudice, but maybe I just wasn't in the right mood. It was taking me forever and there was a hold on it at the library, so I had to return it before I could finish it. I've since downloaded it to my Kindle, for free, but haven't felt any strong desire to continue reading it. I added Persuasion to the list because it's mentioned so much in one of my favorite movies -- The Lake House.

I got a Kindle for my birthday, but I still have an issue with paying for digital books. Really difficult to pay for a digital file when I know I can get the books for free at the library. However, I've downloaded lots and lots of free classics. I'm hoping this will encourage me to get back to reading the classics.

And there are several books released within the last year that I hope to read soon. (We couldn't include books from the past year on our reading challenge list.) The book I'm most looking forward to reading is Keith Richards' biography and I'm hoping to read Fannie Flagg's I Still Dream About You before I return to school next week.

The Summer We Read Gatsby by Danielle Ganek

2010-12-30T22:32:00.000-06:00

The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite books. It's one of those books that is short enough that it can be read in a day or two, and I admit, I've read it several times. Such a beautiful book. So when I saw the title of this book, I was intrigued. I didn't know much about the book before I picked it up at the library -- I sort of like diving into a book without a clue as to what it is about.

Within the first few pages, it is mentioned that Cassie, or Stella, depending on who's talking to her, is feeling sad and a bit weepy thinking of the aunt she's lost, even though she'd not spent much time with her in recent years. Immediately I bonded with this character, understanding too well what it was like to hover under a cloud of grief caused by the loss of an aunt who played an integral role in my childhood. Months later and still I'm never prepared for the cloud bursts and raining tears that start up without warning. As silly as it sounds, as soon as I read that part about Cassie missing her aunt, I felt that there was a reason for me to read this book even if that reason was simply to have someone - albeit a fictional someone - with which to commiserate.

The story is about two half sisters who inherit their aunt's house in the Hamptons. Their aunt, Lydia, asked them to sell the house and split the profits because there is no way they can afford the upkeep on the house. In a letter she mentions that she hopes they find within the house a "thing of value." The sisters assume this to be an object of value and are on a quest to locate this object within the house.

Truth is, there isn't much of a story here, not a whole lot happens. The sisters go to parties, they hang out with their friends, they talk about the house and the things inside the house but not a lot happens. At moments you think there is going to be something of a mystery and even a hint of danger involving the strange artist living in the house. But the mystery develops into more of a comedy and the danger never materializes like I thought it would. I don't want to give anything away, but I will warn to not expect much to develop with regard to suspense or mystery. But that's fine, I didn't feel that the lack of action or any big dramatic storyline to took anything away from this book because the characters are such interesting people.

I loved the characters in this story, the two very different sisters and the eccentric neighbors. Even the aunt, only there in their memories, seemed to be someone that everyone would have enjoyed being around. She was single and had no children, she taught literature at a boys school in New York City and she loved Paris and books and art and artists. (Do you see why I liked this aunt?) The novel is filled with a cast of amusing, clever, and likable characters. Also, besides the many references to literature and Gatsby in particular, there are several art references, mostly about Jackson Pollock. I wanted to be inside this book, having a "dressing" drink with Peck and Cassie. I wanted to live their life and spend the summer at Fool's House with them.

I was sad when the story was over. I wasn't ready for it to end. I wanted to know more.

Innocent Traitor by Alison Weir

2010-12-05T23:39:00.000-06:00

My interest in Jane Grey was sparked by a painting I saw at the National Gallery in London. She was queen for nine days and eventually beheaded for being queen. Also, I really love the name, "Jane Grey" but that's probably because it makes me think of Jean Grey, one of my favorite X-Men.

In the bookstore of the National Gallery, there were several books and videos about the painting and about Jane Grey. I bought a DVD, and considered buying a book, but couldn't decide which one I wanted. There were several by Weir.

When I returned home from my trip, I looked up the author at the library. She's a historian and has written quite a few non-fiction books, but this was her first novelization. Seemed like a good place to start reading about the Tudors.

I found the story interesting. But I found the style a bit odd. It's written in first person, but every few pages, the narrator changes. Seems like there could have been a better way to tell the story. I guess I find it especially bothersome because so much effort is put into trying to figure out what is going on in the minds of each of these people. I realize it's historical fiction, and a novel, not factual, but it does involve events that really happened. In the beginning Jane's mother despises her and in the end she's distraught over what happens to her. Then we have Jane's husband who rapes her in the beginning of the marriage and is extremely cruel to her, but later adores her and misses her so much he carves her name in the wall. None of that made sense to me.

The story is about Jane, who has very ambitious parents. When they fail to get her married to the king, they make arrangements to involve her in a plot that will eventually make her queen. Jane is, as the title indicates, innocent in all of this. She doesn't want to be queen, she doesn't want to be married, she just wants to be left alone with her books. That's what makes this so tragic. She was punished for things that were entirely beyond her control.

What I most get out of books about this time period is the horror and destruction caused by people's beliefs in God. This all takes place around the time of the Protestant uprising. People are executed for having Protestant beliefs, and then another king is in place and suddenly people are punished for being Catholic. Jane was very much part of the Protestant movement. According to this book, she held her beliefs so strongly that even in the end when she was told she could live if she would convert to Catholicism and she wouldn't. That seems absurd, because it isn't as if the two religions are that different. Same God, same Bible, same characters in the book, just different ways of worship. She was sixteen and willing to die for a fairly new form of a religion rather than go back to the form that had been around for centuries? I'm not saying that Catholics are the one true way, but still. That's extreme.

More than anything though, it makes me very glad I don't participate in any sort of organized religion. Knowing the bloodshed these religions, all of them, have, it makes it very difficult for me to view them as organizations with which I would want to affiliate myself. They were really just businesses, all about power and control. Whoever was in power had no issues with crushing those who were not in power. It's all very disturbing. Very harsh times.

Back to the book though, I liked it enough that I plan to read more books by Weir. I've already checked out Lady Elizabeth. I did feel that reading the book taught me a lot about the time period that I didn't know, and I find this an easier way to learn than from a history book, even if the novel isn't completely accurate. As far as we know, the history books aren't any more accurate.

Summer at Tiffany by Marjorie Hart

2010-11-27T01:05:00.000-06:00

I very much enjoyed this story of a woman's memorable summer in New York City, working at Tiffany.

The year is 1945, the country is at war and her family is horrified over the idea of her going off to the big city to have fun. The impression is given that up until this point in her life, Marjorie has always been very sensible. She attends college in Iowa, close to home. She practices the cello and when her mother had surgery, she took a semester off to help around the house. She never would have considered going to New York City, until she learns that some of her sorority sisters have gone to the City and easily found jobs and her roommate convinces her that they should do the same thing.

The save up glass bottles to try to earn enough money for their train ticket, convinced that once they get to the City, they'll quickly find jobs and make lots of money. They're going to go lots of Broadways shows and shop at fancy department stores and go to the beach.

Finding a job isn't as easy as they were led to believe. Their first few days are spent standing in long lines with other young women in the employment offices, filling out applications and often being told there are no more openings. Then they see Tiffany & Co. on Fifth Avenue. Tiffany doesn't even have an employment office. But they talk their way into a job as pages on the sales floor. They're only making twenty dollars a week, and know they can't afford to live off that, but they can't turn down a job at Tiffany!

They don't let their meager salary keep them from enjoying the city, hoping for a glimpse of Wallis Simpson, and marveling over the laughter of Judy Garland, and trembling at the sight of a gangster who needs his watch repaired. They date midshipmen and celebrate the end of the war in Times Square.

I loved the innocence of the story, a glimpse of a different New York City, a time when people carried themselves with a bit more dignity. It's a time when men and women went on dates and got to know each other rather than today when everyone is simply expected to "hook up" and "put out" moments after making eye contact. It's the kind of New York I yearn for every time I wander around the city. I enjoyed seeing New York City through the eyes of someone living in the City for the first time -- that first sighting of the Empire State Building, the shops on Fifth Avenue, dinner at the Stork Club. There were several amusing moments when she tried to order a drink or dessert, always wanting to sound as if she belonged and not like a wide-eyed girl from Iowa.

I've been told that I'm an old soul. I love Sinatra and black and white movie and stories about a time that I can only imagine. Also, I love New York City, so this book was perfect for me. It's a quick read and provided a nice, enjoyable escape from the holiday blahs.

I don't care about your band by Julie Klausner

2010-11-07T18:28:00.001-06:00

I was talking about books to some students the other day and the conversation went a bit like this:

"I'm reading this book called, I don't care about your band," I said. "It's well, a little graphic, so I can't tell you the details, but it's about this woman's dating experiences. It's funny, but it's really gross. Like, really, really gross. Some of the things that happen in it.... yuck. When I started the book, I almost decided to not continue past the second chapter, I was just thinking, this woman is a slut. But I kept reading and parts are hilarious. This woman, though, she's just stupid."

My kids were laughing. "She's just stupid," mimicked one of the boys.

"She is. I can't even tell you the things that happen. Makes me so glad I don't date and never have," I said. My students don't believe me when I say things like this, but it's true.

And that sort of sums up my feelings about his book. I don't date now, didn't really date in my twenties. There was one brief sort of almost-relationship experience, but in hindsight, I've realized it existed more in my head than in actuality. I was sad when it ended, but eventually I was glad that it never really, um, came to fruition, if you, well, know what I mean.

I suspect there may be something wrong with me for not having any real interest in dating and all that accompanies dating. But as it is, at the advanced age of 35, I don't really feel like I'm missed out on much. When I read a book like this, I am overwhelmingly grateful that I missed out on such experiences.

In the beginning she claims to have had a great, loving relationship with her parents, but if that was the case, why go on such a desperate search for "love"? Or whatever the heck she was searching for. She mentions often that she's in need of a husband and a father for her future children, but wow, did she honestly for even a moment consider any of those men to be candidates for a role in her future? She doesn't seem to be going about it in a way that I would consider to be productive. But then again, I don't know about this stuff. I've never had any interest in seeking out a future husband or life-partner or whatever term is used these days.

The author is giving blow jobs by ninth grade. Maybe this is normal and maybe I'm just that sheltered. If so, thank goodness. Some things do not belong in my mouth.

Despite my shock at her ninth grade experiences, I kept reading, and several times I found myself laughing aloud. As horrible and grotesque as many of the stories are, they are also hilarious. Most, or rather, all of the stories are more about sex than dating. She doesn't talk much about dating. She tends to meet guys and then get undressed as soon as possible. Ugly guys, fat guys, boring, unemployed, drug using guys, she's not particular. She does them all: Men with dirty apartments and bedbugs, men with criminal records and/or indie records, men who smell bad and treat her even worse. One impression I got from this book is that the author possessed no self respect, none at all. Why oh why would anyone put herself in these situations? You have to hate yourself to do some of the things she did.

While I believe the author and I are the same age, and I've been in situations similar to hers, known people like the ones she mentions, I couldn't relate to the way she interacted with these people. For instance, as indicated by the title, she talks about dating musicians and how a person who dates a musician has to go to every show. I will admit to having some involvement with musicians, it happens to everyone at some point, even to people like me who work hard to avoid "dating", but also, I never had a problem telling these men that I just couldn't attend every gig, sometimes I had other plans, sometimes, there was a really good movie on TV that I wanted to stay home and watch. Most of the guys respected the fact that I had a life separate from them. Those who didn't, well, they moved on, which was best for all involved. That's the difference between the author and I. I've never had a problem telling a guy no. At least, not since I was like 21. I'm a quick learner, one bad experience and I'm done. Works out well, really, it does.
By the end of the book, I found that I really liked the author, despite thinking she's not very smart, takes way too many risks with regard to her body and is completely lacking in self-respect. I especially felt that I bonded with her when she started in on her dislike of Brooklyn. I can bond with just about anyone over a dislike of Brooklyn. Though I have to say that her rant about how bothered she is that men are attracted to Cameron Diaz in Something About Mary and Pam on the Office made me think she and I wouldn't get along all that well. She sounds like one of those women that likes to get really made up because she thinks that's what men like and she's angry at the idea that they don't like that. Being that I've never done the whole "dating, seeking out men" thing, I've never given all that much thought to what men like with regard to how I dress. Maybe that's my loss, but after reading this book, I have to say I'm grateful for having missed out on all these experiences.

Overall, I enjoyed the book because it's funny. It took a few chapters before my impression of the book moved from disgusting to hilarious, but now that I'm done reading it, I've recommended it to several friends. In the end, the author claims to have learned from these experiences. She chalks them up as her "twenties". I think back on my twenties, which ended five years ago and all I remember is working late at a job I hated and so that I could pay the bills that accompany adulthood, so I guess I kind of appreciated living out the author's experiences from a distance, without suffering the consequences.

-- Random bit here: Near the end of the book there is a line in quotes, and I wondered if it was in quotes because it came from a song or movie or something, but whatever it was, I really liked it. Does anyone know what this is referencing, or is it just something the author wrote: "going to bed early at least a couple of nights a month to make the loneliness stop screaming for the night." Something about that line really hit home for me, even though I very much chose to be alone. Sometimes, well, sometimes, you know...

The Surgeon by Tess Gerritsen

2010-11-07T16:05:00.001-06:00

This summer, I watched a few episode of a new show on TNT called Rizzoli and Aisles. I liked it, didn't love it, but it held my interest. I like crime dramas, especially those with strong female characters. The show is based on a series of books, so I decided to try the books because I love reading crime fiction.

This is the first book in the series.

The book is okay. It's well-written, held my interest. The book kept me company during an especially bad recent bout of insomnia. (Though one of my students wisely pointed out that that maybe the book was the cause of my insomnia when I told him what the book was about.)

The story is about Rizzoli, a female detective, who has a tough time working with a lot of insecure men. She ends up on a big case -- a serial killer who slices up women and removes their wombs before he slices their throats. Turns out the case is connected to another round of serial killings, in which everyone believed the killer had been murdered. I found of interest the research that went into tracing back the connections between the two acts, or rather, two series of acts.

But I didn't like the portrayal of Rizzoli. She seemed a bit unlikable. I also didn't like that is always seemed like the men were swooping in to save her, as well as the other women. In the end, she did redeem herself, but there was a lot of the book in which it was her mentor who was a bit too much of a hero. Granted this was the first book in the series and I'm sure the dynamics between the characters changes as the novels progress.

But also, I didn't like the main victim in the story. I grew tired of reading about her being so very beautiful and vulnerable. (I notice that Rizzoli feels the same about this character, so maybe it was a way to make the reader relate to Rizzoli? If so, it worked.) And it's the same male character who saves Rizzoli who then acts as the victim's protector.

My biggest issue though was the portrayal of the murderer. Throughout the story, we're allowed into his thought process, and this bothered me. I have issues with the idea that these monsters have any sort of rational thought. I'm not saying the author was trying to justify what he did, because she wasn't. But at the same time, I have no desire to "see" into the minds of criminals. Also, much emphasis was placed on the idea that the men involved had perfectly normal lives. Everyone loved them, they came from great, loving families, nice, polite boys who did well in school. While I realize that we always hear the stories about how, "no one had a clue" in regard to captured murderers, I often believe this is a case of people simply not paying attention. I have a very difficult time believing that people from wonderful, financially well-off, loving homes can turn into such gruesome monsters. Not saying it can't happen, because I'm sure it does. But in a story like this, I need a little something to provide a better explanation for the horror. The only deviance hinted at is a bit of homosexual tendencies, which, as you may imagine bothered me. Because they're gay, they chop up women? No, I don't think so. Again, the author didn't directly say that, but near the end, it seems to be implied, and that angered me.

For a while, near the middle of this book, I thought maybe I had found myself a new author, another series to explore, but by the time it ended, I'd had enough. At the moment, I don't feel compelled to read any more books in this series.

Fire in the Blood by Irene Nemirovsky

2010-10-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

I really liked the title of this book. I'll fully admit that's what drew me to the book. Just sounds so intense and passionate. Fire in the Blood.

This is considered one of the unfinished works of Irene Nemirovsky. Difficult to really judge the work based on the idea that it was her rough draft. This was found years after her death at a concentration camp during WWII.

Unlike Suite Francaise, this is not at all about the war. This is about some people living in the country. The story is almost soap opera-ish, with their dramas involving affairs and lies and loves and such. The narrator is a man who lived a full life, traveled around the world -- he claims he had a "fire in the blood" that kept him from remaining at home. Now he's old and observing the lives of his cousins and their adult children.

There's a very dramatic twist at the end, long buried secrets revealed that's fairly shocking to all involved. I can't elaborate too much without giving the story away.

It's a somewhat interesting story, a very quick read. It's not great though. As I said, I believe this was the author's rough draft, so the story wasn't fully developed. I'm looking forward to reading some of the author's finished work that was published during her lifetime to see if there is a significant difference in the writing.

Up in the Air by Walter Kirn

2010-10-24T22:07:00.000-05:00

I've never seen the movie based on this book. I've heard it's very different from the book. Since finishing the book, I've recorded it, and it's saved on the Tivo, but I've yet to watch it.

I was intrigued by the story of a person spending so much of his life in airplanes and airports. I've gone through phases of my life in which every weekend was spent in and out of an airport. I've become familiar with several different airlines. A few routes I flew so often, the flight crew began to recognize me.

I almost didn't read this book because the reviews on Goodreads were so negative. But I decided to give it a try and I'm so glad I did.

I really liked this book. It's so well written, reads very quickly. It's funny and interesting. Because I've spent so much time on planes, I felt I could relate to a lot of it. Those awkward conversations with strangers, the way the two of you exchange information that you don't even tell your closest acquaintances because here on the plane you have the safety of knowing you'll probably never see this person again. This book brought back so many memories of encounters on planes. The fast, fleeting friendships that usually end once we touch the ground.

There's also the main characters conflict with his job. Again I felt I could on some level relate to this. For years I had one of those jobs that no one really understood. Truth is, I wasn't even certain as to what I did -- international news distribution - but whatever anyone assumed it was, it probably wasn't. Selling a product that doesn't really exist, because it's just an idea, and it's success depends on convincing other people that the service exists even though it's just an idea. None of that makes sense,does it? It's not suppose to.

But this character, he's not just a weekend traveller, as I was. He travels all the time. At this point, he doesn't even have a home. He's got his things in storage somewhere. He's let his place go, let his car go. He rents, he stays in hotels. He's liquidated his life.

He's trying to get one million miles before his boss finds out he's quit his job. He says he wants to work from home. He's trying to write a book, trying to get a job with another company that is selling an idea or a service that isn't quite defined. He's moving from place to place, in a mad rush to accomplish his goals and also save his sister's wedding and keep his family happy. But all this travel, all this moving from city to city, it's starting to wear him down and his past is beginning to catch up with him.

There are hints throughout the story that something is amiss, something a little more jarring than mere confusion over extensive air travel. But even with the warnings, the last few pages threw me. I'm not sure I understood what happened. I sort of do, but I'm not certain I "got it." I didn't like the ending, didn't like it at all. Or maybe I just felt so connected to the character after sharing his hectic journey that I wasn't ready to let go. I especially didn't like the way I had to let go. Didn't like what I was reading. I wanted to keep going, and I wanted to find out more.

Overall though, I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who has spent a substantial amount of time traveling through airports and airplanes.

Hardball by Sara Paretsky

2010-10-03T18:12:00.000-05:00

Hardball is the first VI Warshawski book I've read. I believe it may be the 13th or 15th in the series. Based on this book, I don't feel especially compelled to read the other books in the series.

This book never really grabbed me, or put me in a position where I just couldn't put it down. In fact, about mid-way through, I considered not even finishing the book because I didn't care what happened next.

VI is a private detective, and she's trying to find someone who disappeared thirty years or forty years earlier. But as soon as she begins the investigation, people start coming after her. Then you find out that her cousin is involved and her uncle and her dad, and it all seems a bit too coincidental and absurd. There's lots of action -- bad guys attacking her and fires and break-ins, but none of it feels very natural. As I read it, I found myself thinking, over and over again that it all seems a bit ridiculous.

I tend to prefer British mysteries, which involve a lot more brain power to solve the crime, less jumping out of windows and hiding in cases for musical instruments and frequent stays in hospitals.

Despite all that action, it all seemed a bit boring, or rather a lot boring. I didn't care about the characters very much. None of them -- except for the neighbor downstairs -- seemed like people I would ever want to meet or be around. So it didn't matter to me if they got hurt, or lost or went missing forever.
Maybe if I'd read the other books in the series, I would care more. But there are so many other books I'd rather read, going to stay away from these in the future.

finished reading: August 29, 2010

Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer

2010-10-03T18:06:00.000-05:00

I love Paris and try to learn as much as I can about the city. My summer visits to Paris also have increased my interest in World War II. In the U.S., reading about that time period, it all seems very distant and remote. But in Paris and in much of Europe, the war happened right there. It was my love of Paris and my interest in WWII that drew me to this book.

The summary I read of Julie Orringer's Invisible Bridge described the book as a love story between a young, Jewish Hungarian college student and an older ballerina in Paris, on the eve of war. I imagined it to be a passionate love story with a gorgeous, tragic Paris setting.

It is a love story, but not exactly what I expected. It's much more than a love story and not quite as, well, passionate as I expected it to be. I'm not even sure what I mean by that, I just know I was expecting a different book than what this actually was. That doesn't mean I didn't like the book, I liked it very much. The story of the student, Andras, meeting the ballerina, Klara, in Paris is simply the beginning of a much broader story. Also, the fact that she's a few years older than him doesn't seem to be that big of a deal. She does have a teenage daughter, that she had when she was only a teenager, which makes things a bit complicated.

But this story isn't just about their relationship, it's more about the ways some horrible events over which they had no control derailed their lives and their plans. And it isn't just about these two people and how they were effected, but rather how everyone in their families, in their neighborhoods and in their country was effected.

This book is so very well written, once I got started, I didn't want to put it down, but at the same time, I was so horrified by what was happening that I was hesitant to continue, knowing things would only get worse. The author manages to transport the reader into a time and place in history, and makes it feel as if we are living in that time period. While I was reading this book, I couldn't stop thinking about it when I was away from the book and at night I would have dreams about the book.

The characters have to leave Paris, and return to Budapest where much of the story takes place. I liked the scenes in Paris best, because I could visualize the areas mentioned. I've never been to Budapest. Once they reach Budapest though, Andras is sent to a work camp and everything is downhill from there. I suppose that's when I had to accept that this wasn't going to be some steamy, Parisian love story of two people escaping the Nazis.

My only issue with the book is that I found I did not like Klara. There was something so selfish about her. She was a beautiful woman who was used to men taking care of her. Even with this younger man, she seemed to expect the same from him -- despite her claims that she could take care of herself. And yes, she raised a daughter on her own, but she had a wealthy, married man helping her out financially. Only when he moved on and decided to take of his own wife that she became involved with Andras. Before him, her father was risking everything for her, and afterward, it was her brother having to save her. Even after they'd lost almost everything, with no hope in sight, her husband in a work camp, her entire family living in a small apartment, she keeps getting pregnant. Pretty sure that even then, there were precautions that could be taken until they were in a more stable situation.

Throughout the book, I never warmed to that character, and I thought I would after she revealed her horrible secret, but I didn't. I felt bad for her, but even then, it seemed like she made a decision that she had to have known would have a bad result. (Not going to give it away because it's a fairly big revelation in the book.)

Despite not really liking Klara though, I really did like the book and would readily recommend it to anyone interested in that time period, or anyone simply wanting a big, engrossing book to get lost in for a few days.

It is tragic because how could it not be in that place and time. It's truly horrifying to realize that those things happened in this world. It's even more horrifying to know that others sat by and did nothing as it happened. Maybe it was so horrible they couldn't believe it was really happening, but I don't know. Seems like a lot of people readily turned away from the horror and thought they would be fine because it didn't directly affect them. They thought it was just a small group of crazies, and then that small group took over their countries and everyone suffered. There's a scene where the "illegal immigrants" are shot because they can't find their papers quickly enough and I couldn't help but think about how many people in this country would be just fine with that. I can't help but think about our own country and how we allow the zealots to spout their craziness, their hatred for anyone who has a different religion or a darker shade of skin. We have people in Arizona who think it's okay to harass anyone with dark skin, we have crazies blabbing on and on about how we need to blur the lines between church and state and allow their particular brand of religion into law. Anyone who worships differently, or not at all is considered evil. Most of all though, when I read a book like this, I worry that we've learned nothing from history.

finished reading around 3 a.m. Sept., 12, 2010

Devil's Queen: A Novel of Catherine de Medici by Jeanne Kalogridis

2010-10-03T16:02:00.001-05:00

For the past few years, I've visited Europe once a year. As anyone who has ever been to Europe knows, it's impossible to visit without seeing buildings that once housed royalty. Much to my own embarrassment, I don't know a whole lot about the history of these building or the people who once inhabited them. My history classes were taught by football coaches. While I'm visiting, I read what I can at the location or in my guidebook and always wish I knew more, and then make plans to do more research before my next trip. As soon as I return home, I visit the library, and check out a stack of books about the Anne Boleyn and Marie Antoinette. Usually they sit in a stack by my bed for a few months, then summer fades and I become too busy with school to read and by the time summer rolls around again and I'm packing my bags for Europe, I find myself really wishing I'd read those books. (I should clarify, I'm not completely ignorant, probably know a bit more about history than the average person, but I'm the sort who always wants to know more and when I'm walking through the Tower of London or the Palace of Versailles, I get frustrated when I can't quickly identify the names and time periods and activities of the people mentioned on the placards.)

This summer in Paris, I wandered into the Gardens of Luxembourg and saw the Medici fountain. I didn't even though the Medici family ruled in France -- that's how ignorant I was on this. I knew of this family only through their connection with Florence.

Shortly after returning from Paris, while at the library, I noticed this book, The Devil's Queen: A Novel of Catherine de Medici. (I'd seen the book once before my trip, at a book store, but at the time I was looking for novels about the Tudors, so I set it aside, but added it to my reading list.) The Medici fountain still fresh on my mind, I checked out the book.

I have to admit, I also was intrigued by the mention of the Queen's association with dark magic. Magic is something I find of interest, especially the role it has played in history. We live in a society that wants us to believe that all magic is nothing more than fiction, despite proof that it's been around for centuries.

I was a little hesitant about the book after reading some other reviews, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. It's a well written, interesting story. There are some soap opera-ish elements to the story, which make it quite intriguing, but I'm not sure of the accuracy. It's a novel, not a history book, so, of course, some liberties were taken. The conversation is written in a modern tone, which makes the story accessible, in my opinion.

I found Catherine to be a fascinating character. She was very determined to save herself and especially those she cared about. However, this determination often caused her to make some dangerous decisions. The character in the story realizes too late the mistakes she's made and finds herself in a difficult position to try to remedy what she's done.

Also, a benefit of the novel is that it did provide some historical information about this time period and these people. Catherine's sons are kings during a time in which France was involved in a very bloody religious wars. Such good Christians, slaughtering people to prove their way of worship is better.

What I liked best about the book though is that Catherine is living in the Louvre during her time in Paris. The Louvre is my favorite place in Paris, maybe my favorite place in the world. Not only does it house thousands of works of art, but was also once a royal residence. Every time I visit, I think of the artists, as well as the kings and queens that once called that place home. I enjoyed reading this and trying to picture the events happening in the same corridors where millions of tourists now wander to view art. Now though, I am in search of a map of the Louvre during the time of Catherine de Medici, so that I can see what parts of the building she and her family occupied, because I know that over the last few centuries there have been many changes to the former fortress.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the book, and it has prompted me to seek out more information about the people mentioned in the story. Also, I should probably mention, the Medici fountain isn't even named after Catherine, but rather another Medici who only has one mention in this book. Marie de Medici's role in French history didn't happen until after the events in this book.

finished reading: Oct. 3, 2010

Invisible Bridge

2010-09-05T22:44:00.000-05:00

Right now, I'm reading a book called The Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer. I'm not very far into the book, but already, I really like the way it's written.

Maybe I'm in a sappy mood, but I think the following sentence might be one of the greatest lines I've ever read in a book: But he could no sooner have sent her away than he could have dismissed geometry from architecture, or the cold from January, or the winter sky from outside his window.

Really looking forward to reading the rest of this book.

Random book talk - coincidence, TV and movies

2010-08-16T23:29:00.000-05:00

After I finished Suite Francaise, I started reading Sara Paretsky's Hardball. I don't usually like reading books that are part of a series unless I've read all the books in the series. But for some reason, I decided to go ahead and read this. I'd seen a pop up add that said if I liked Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, I should read Hardball.
I was checking out a stack of books, I saw Hardball on the new release shelf, so I got it.

On page 110, VI Warshawski is read Suite Francaise. I thought that was an odd coincidence, since I just finished reading that book.

In other book news, I'm really liking the show, Rizzoli and Isles. I checked out a couple of the books -- including the first one (because I like to start at the beginning of a series). Hope I like it.

And on the subject of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - I read they've cast the part of Lisbeth Salander. I've never heard of the actress - Rooney Mara, but she has a huge job ahead of her, taking on the role of possibly the coolest fictional character ever! I really like the casting of Daniel Craig and Robin Wright. In the Swedish movie, I didn't think the person playing Erika was attractive enough. I loved the person playing Lisbeth, but I had quite a few issues with the movie. They changed several things from the movie. I'm looking forward to the new version.

Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky

2010-08-08T06:52:00.002-05:00

I bought a copy of this book last year, after I returned from a trip to Paris. When I take trips, nice trips, I tend to want to continue living them. Several people on a travel forum recommended this book so I went and bought a copy, not knowing much about it. Honestly, with regard to extending my time in Paris, it wouldn't have been effective. This is more about the effects of World War II on Paris and France. I didn't get around to reading it last summer though because I suppose school started and once I realized it was about the war, I was afraid it might be a bit heavy and emotional for escaping the classroom stress - which is why I read books during the school year.

This summer, I packed the book in my suitcase before my trip to Paris. I had another book to read, and was carrying this as my "backup" book. I didn't start the book until I got on the plane leaving Paris. It's divided into two parts and I read the entire first part on the plane from Paris to Boston. Then I set the book aside and didn't return to it for a few weeks.

In order to fully appreciate the book, it's important to know a bit of background about how this story. It's unfinished and is only two parts of the author's intended five. The story wasn't published until almost sixty years after it was written. The notebook in which it was written was in a suitcase belonging to her daughters, and it traveled with them for years as they hid from the Nazis. Her daughters assumed it was a journal, and they didn't read it, thinking it would be too painful. When they did finally read it, they discovered what became Suite Francaise, as well as notes about how the author wanted the story to progress.

The story takes place in occupied France. The first part, Storm in June, is the story of people fleeing Paris as the city is claimed by the German army. The city is in a complete panic. Nemirovsky introduces several different characters, from various backgrounds, with different interests. She doesn't paint a very flattering view of the people in her city. There are the rich people more concerned about their possessions than they are their neighbors. They're driving around with a vehicle loaded down with dishes and bed linens while people are walking along the roads, with no other means to escape. Some of the people are quite horrible, arrogant and cruel, others kind and generous, doing all they can to assist those in such a desperate situation.

I thought some of the stories were a little strange and melodramatic, which I assume is the result of the story being the author's first draft. (At the end of the book, it describes her writing process, how she'd write everything she could think of, then go back and edit. Even in her notes she mentions not liking an event that I found a bit too awful.)

One thing to keep in mind about this is that the author wrote these stories as she was living the experience. This is not a case of a someone writing a story based on history or family stories. Nemirovsky was in Paris as this was happening. She saw the people around her going through this.

The second part, Dolce, takes place in a village occupied by the German army. Again, this story is based on the author's experience of living in an occupied village. I think what's most interesting about the story is the way she objectively views the French and the German citizens. She paints a very sympathetic view of the Germans, pointing out that these soldiers are in some ways in as dire a situation as the people who's homes they are occupying. She describes them as young men, far away from home, in a place where they don't speak the language, living among people who hate them. Also, it's clear that she is not especially proud of the way the French behaved during this time, so eager to tell on each other if they thought it would benefit themselves.

The story ends with the German army leaving the village and moving on to fight in Russia.

I liked the second part of the book better than the first. There was more of a continuous storyline. The characters were more developed and more likable.

She never finished the story, and in her notes even mentioned that she wasn't entirely sure how it would end, that it was in God's hands. Because, of course, she didn't know how the war would end.

Before she finished the book, she was taken to a concentration camp, where she died.

Knowing that made me so sad, because here she'd written this story in which she clearly didn't hate the German army. She seemed to understand that it was a war, they were only following orders. And yet, these men that she portrayed so kindly are the same ones who took her from her family and led her to her death.

My copy of the book had notes in the back and a series of letters from her husband to others, trying to get her returned to her family. It's clear that the family didn't know the full horrors of what was happening at the camps. He kept writing and trying to find her, long after she'd died. He eventually met the same fate, never knowing what happened to her. It says that after the war their children would go meet the trains that had the survivors on it, hoping to see their parents return.

I think this book is especially valuable in the way that it provides a unique perspective of the war and its effects on the people. This isn't a history book or a tale of famous leaders and soldiers, but rather a picture of the lives of the people who suffer as the result of these leaders' actions.

Prospect Park West by Amy Sohn

2010-08-04T22:07:00.004-05:00

As I was walking to the checkout desk in the library, I noticed this on a shelf.

I've never been to Park Slope or Prospect Park. But I've heard of the area, haven't we all? The place where people like to take strollers into bars -- because all babies deserve to be exposed to alcohol! Weird. Also, I know of a guy who got married, moved to Park Slope and disappeared. He was a bit of a jerk, and a liar, so it amuses me greatly to picture him, overweight and sloppy (he sort of already was) walking through the park with his frumpy wife, pushing a stroller with a screaming, messy kid in it -- just like the people in this book.

I thought this book was hilarious. It's about four women, all mothers living near Prospect Park. They're obsessed with their addresses, and more importantly, their school zones. There's Karen, the crazy mom who puts knee pads on her kid before he plays on the playground because, you know, children should never have skinned knees. (Parents like this are why kids are so messed up -- I'm a teacher, I've seen the damage first hand.) She's obsessed with finding property in the "right" school zone and she's trying to get pregnant again. She's also stalking one of the celebrities on the block.

Melora was a child star, now married to a handsome Australian actor and raising their adopted child. She's also a drug addict, and struggling to hold onto her career, and not all that interested in being a mom. And yet, I probably liked her a bit more than some of the other women in this story.

Lizzie was a lesbian -- a hasbian is what she calls herself -- until she married a guy in a band. He's always on the road, leaving her alone with their son. She's not as status conscious as the other moms and doesn't seem to fit in with the crowd at the playground. But she's so happy when she thinks she meets a normal mom - Rebbecca.

Rebbecca hasn't had sex since her one and half year old daughter was born, and that's pretty much all she thinks about. She's so self absorbed. Her husband won't go near her because she's mean and insanely jealous of the attention he gives their daughter. She's a horrible person and gets worse as the book continues.

These women are all messed up in some way. There's women are pathetic and damaged. But reading about their troubles was amusing to me. In fact, it gives me a sense of superiority to read this and be so very glad that I don't have their problems.

I liked the book. Granted, it's not great literature, but it was entertaining. I got through the book quickly, not wanting to put it down at night. As I described it to someone, I equate reading things like this to watching Real Housewives on Bravo. I know it's wrong, but they make me laugh. Sometimes, it's okay to indulge in our guilty pleasures.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire, and Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

2010-07-26T03:21:00.005-05:00

Rather than write a separate post for each book, I'm just writing one for all three. It's a long one, and it's mostly me gushing over the books. But I don't want to say too much for fear of giving something away.

When I imagine Lisbeth Salander, I automatically hear the Mission Impossible music playing or maybe something from the Matrix soundtrack, something that sounds big and powerful, and I see her walking forward, calmly, steadily, a bullet in her head, blood on her face, a weapon in her hand, her shirt is torn, her arms are scraped up, but she remains invincible as she leaves behind a trail of destruction in her wake. I see towering flames, buildings falling and explosions going off behind her, but none of it fazes her in the least. She’s done with that shit, she’s moving on to the next bastard who needs his ass kicked.

My image of Salander is based only on the books. I plan to watch the first movie later tonight, but I wanted to write my review of the books first because I don’t want the movie to influence what I write.

This morning I finished reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. It’s the third in the Millennium series, or The Girl Trilogy, as I’ve seen it called. The series that begins with Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, continues into Girl Who Played with Fire and ends with The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.

I have been so engrossed in the world created by these books. There are times it’s all I can think about it. When I wasn’t reading, I was wishing I was reading – more so than normal. I just wanted to get back to the books. When I went to sleep, I dreamed about this world – and that wasn’t such a good thing. But I was that sucked in.

Difficult to believe that I avoided these books for so long.

I’ve been hearing about these books for a while. It’s not possible to walk into a bookstore or past any sort of book display without seeing them. But I wasn’t going to get sucked into the hype. I really didn’t have any interest in reading them. I could try to come up with a sensible reason as to why I didn’t want to read them – over exposure, not wanting to follow the crowd, too violent. But the truth is, I’m very particular about the crime novels I read. I tend to only read crime novels by women. In fact, I tend to only read books by women and anytime I read something by a man, I often find I regret it. I didn’t want to read these books because they were written by a man. Call it reverse sexism or whatever, but there it is.

As I was getting ready to leave for a two week trip to Europe, I became desperate to find a book to read on the trip. I would be spending lots of time on planes and trains and I’m the type that always has to have a book with me. I needed something that wouldn’t take up too much space, wasn’t too heavy, but would last for a while. I needed something interesting, and I wanted something European.

So I gave in to the Swedish crime novels that have topped the bestseller lists. If that many people loved the book, then it couldn’t be that bad. Also, I’d become more curious about the books after reading an article about the author in Vanity Fair. Most importantly though, the book would fit in my purse.

I ended up not reading it on the plane. I flew first class and had my own entertainment video system, so I watched movies the entire trip. When I ended up reading it was on the underground in London. Tip for solo travelers: always take a book. If you’re sitting there reading, you look like you know where you’re going, what you’re doing, and not like a lost, lonesome tourist.

The first book is very slow in the beginning. Lots of background and legal info. I think it took about 130 pages before I really felt like I was absorbed into the book. I was on the train from London to Paris when it happened.
I carried that book all over Paris with me, not realizing that the Millennium 2 movie poster I passed in the metro every day was for a movie based on Girl Who Played with Fire.

I finished The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on my last night in Paris. I thought I’d be able to pick up a copy of the sequel at the airport. The books were all over London. But the Paris airport – at least the section I was in – is a horrible place. I finally found a display of “foreign” books. They had about ten books in English, one of the books was Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. But Girl Who Played with Fire couldn’t be found. Luckily, I had another book to read on the plane from Paris to Boston. In the Boston airport, the first thing I did was find a bookstore and buy a copy of the sequel. I think I paid more for that book than I’ve ever paid for a paperback, probably more than I’ve ever paid for a hardback. But I wanted it right then so that I could read it on the plane back to Dallas. Then I promptly fell asleep after the plane took off. Typical.

Reading the books has almost felt like taking another trip across the ocean.

What I absolutely loved about the books is the character of Lisbeth Salander. She’s everything a person wants to be and should strive to be. She’s brilliant and strong and doesn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks of her. She’s in complete control of her emotions and actions. When someone hurts her or someone she cares about, she goes after that person. But not in a blind rage, she puts together an effective strategy and carefully puts it into place. She believes in taking responsibility for every action, never making excuses. She had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and torture and bureaucratic mishaps and she survived it all and made herself stronger as a result of it.

She's described as being 4’11” and thin, and yet she never backs down from a fight against someone bigger than her. To me, she is the perfect mixture of action and intellect. She does just as much, or more, fighting with her mind. I can’t remember the last time I loved a character this much. I can’t stop thinking about her, and am so sad that the series is over.

As I said, I initially avoided these books because I tend to not read books written by men. With that attitude, I was pleased to discover that the female characters in this series were, for the most part, strong women. The series is filled with women who care about their careers and their families, women who don't simper in a corner and wait for a man to save them, women who aren’t afraid to fight back. When a character calls for a body guard, it’s a woman that shows up to handle the job. The two toughest police officers in the story happen to be women. Also, the men who have problems with these women are viewed as complete idiots. It is clear that these books were written by a man who respected women, understood the kinds of adversity women often face, and did not in any way regard them as the weaker sex. It breaks my heart to know that there won’t be any more books written by him. (The author died after writing the third book. Supposedly, there is part of a fourth book written and maybe an outline for up to ten books.)

I read somewhere that the original title for the first book is something along the lines of Men Who Hate Women. I’m glad they changed it, because I like that the focus is put on Salander, but at the same time, the first title makes sense. The villains in the story are pure evil and sadistic and their cruelty is directed at women.

I have to admit, there was one scene that was so horrible, I very seriously considered setting the book down in the seat next to me on the Paris metro and leaving it there. I felt ill and stopped reading and looked around me, horrified by what I’d read. Of course, I realized no one around me knew what I’d just read. I didn’t think I could continue reading the book. I like my crime novels to be more intellectual, less physical. But I knew if I left the book there, I’d be wondering what happened next, so I kept reading. The horror was balanced by the brilliant way in which Salander sought her vengeance. I realized that what happened had to be that horrible in order to show the extent of Salander’s determination. Still, consider yourself warned.

I think the second book probably moved the quickest. I found parts of the third book slow, again it was because of extensive, but necessary background information. Once I got through that, the action picked up again. I had a few issues with one of the characters - Berger. I thought the author went overboard with describing her insatiable sexual needs. But, then again, I am something of a prude. Also, in the third book, I felt like the storyline involving Berger got in the way of the main storyline. He sort of tied it all together, but I think the book would have been fine without it. At this point in the series I was really disliking this character and just wanted her to go away.

Overall, though, I can’t remember the last time I got this excited about a series of books -- probably when I was reading books 1-4 of the Harry Potter series. I’m disappointed that despite the books’ popularity, it seems no one I know has read them, so I have no one to discuss them with. I could go on for hours and as lengthy as what I’ve written is, I cut out a couple of pages. (Not kidding.) So if anyone would like to borrow my books, feel free, then we can get together for dinner and discuss them.

The Believers by Zoe Heller

2010-06-16T11:23:00.010-05:00

A friend of mine mentioned this book in her facebook status. She recommended it with a warning for those sensitive to stories about dysfunctional families. Hmmm... sounds right up my alley.

What I liked about this book, is what I liked about the other Zoe Heller book I've read (Notes from a Scandal). She has a knack for creating complex characters. They're real people, not good or bad, just people, trying to do the best they can to get through the day. She lets her readers into her characters' heads and provides an understanding as to why they do and say the things they do.

This particular story is about a family in which the father has just suffered a stroke. The story isn't necessary about the father's stroke, but rather begins at that point. Then the reader learns about the mother and the two daughters and their adopted son. I suppose the best way to describe this book is that it's about a family and the different personalities that make up a family. It's about the difficult interactions between parents and siblings. Everyone is searching for meaning in their own way - through work or religion or politics or relationships or most likely some sort of combination of those elements.

The family was very politically minded, the father a well-known lawyer fighting for social justice. His wife stood proudly by his side, her identity tied closely to his. They raised their children to think and believe as they did. One daughter went to Cuba and then decided to devote herself to helping young girls in New York City and another married an important man in a union. But both begin to realize they aren't satisfied in their lives. Maybe because they were living the lives their parents told them to live, and not the lives they wanted.

As adults the children are beginning to question their beliefs and trying to figure out what is real and what works for them.

I enjoyed this book. I liked the daughters. I felt so close to them and wanted so much for them to find happiness. I thought the mother was a bit horrible, but I think she truly believed in the life she'd left, which I assume is where the title comes from. She believed and wanted her family to do the same. The family was very opposed to religion, but in a way, created their own religion in their home. But with their leader -- their father -- gone, the foundation of this "religion" begins to crumble. Their reality becomes an illusion as the truth emerges.

I do recommend this book. It's an interesting, well-written story.

Chameleon's Shadow by Minette Walters

2010-06-16T11:23:00.009-05:00

Minette Walters is one of my favorite authors. I like her books that include strong, tough women. This book had a bit of that with the character of Jackson, but not as much as her other books.

This is the story of Charles, a solider who returns home with a disfigured face. He ends up linked to several violent crimes. Luckily for him, Jackson, a doctor, who is also part owner of the pub where he gets drunk and gets in a fight, takes pity on him. Without her assistance, Charles would have ended up in jail, with no way to defend himself.

I really liked the character of Jackson. But the story had so many coincidences that it became a little difficult to believe. Some of the conclusions they arrive at about the effects of abuse seemed a little far out. I don't want to give away what happened, but it was weird.

This book was okay, but not anywhere near Walters best work.

Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby

2010-06-16T11:23:00.007-05:00

I really liked Nick Hornby's Long Way Down, so when I saw this on the new release shelf at the library, I picked it up. A story about a musician, a person obsessed with that musician, and that person's girlfriend. Being that I love music and know a bit about people being obsessed with music, I thought the story sounded interesting.

First there's Duncan, the fan who spends all his time obsessing over this musician, Tucker Crowe, and communicating with other obsessed fans on a message board. If you've ever visited an online forum for a band, you've seen these people. They analyze everything, each lyric and guitar chord. They know setlists and cities and dates and anything and everything that has to do with the musician. Duncan's girlfriend Annie has been with him for years. It's on a trip to America, while visiting Tucker Crowe-associated sites, that Annie begins to realize she's growing tired of Duncan and his obsession. She's beginning to think she wants more out of life. She's comfortable with Duncan, but she's longing for something more than simple comfort.

One day, while going through the mail, she opens a package for Duncan. It's a CD called Juliet, Naked. It's a stripped down version of Crowe's CD, Juliet. This version is simply demos and unfinished tracks. Much to Duncan's horror, she listens to the CD before he gets home.

After listening to the CD, Duncan posts a long review on his message board, claiming Juliet, Naked is the greatest thing he's ever heard. Annie, having listened to the CD before Duncan, posts a response saying that it's ridiculous and insulting to claim these unfinished tracks are better than the studio production. Clearly a lot of work went into the finished piece, and to claim the "naked" version is superior is to disregard all that work.

Much to Annie's surprise she receives a Private Message from someone agreeing with her response and claiming to be Tucker Crowe.

The story that follows is about Annie and Duncan splitting up and Annie's online flirtation with Tucker Crowe. Annie is trying to figure out what she wants in her life, as is Tucker Crowe.

I enjoyed this book. It's a funny story and the characters are likable and real. As with Hornby's other books, the story moves quickly.

I thought the ending was a little too sappy, but overall, I do recommend this book, especially to music fans.

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates

2010-06-16T11:22:00.004-05:00

I read this book because I was curious about the movie. It sounded interesting, but I don't know that I really ever understood what it was about. A married couple who wanted more out of life. They were going to be different - "revolutionary."

I just happened to see the book on a shelf at the library and decided to check it out.

I so wish I hadn't.

I didn't like this book at all. The couple were two extremely selfish, arrogant people. They were convinced they were better than everyone else. Completely and totally convinced. And yet, I never learned anything about them to convince me that they were smarter or more attractive or at all better than the people they seemed to despise.

The husband is so pleased that he manages to do nothing at work. In fact, he is described as selecting the job because it was one of those big companies that no one would notice if he did nothing. We all hate our jobs at some point, and office jobs can be especially soul sucking, but we figure out ways to compensate for that. You either look for work that does have meaning, or you try to create a meaningful life outside of work. He's quite content to just brood about how boring his life his. How he deserves to live in Europe because life is better there.

His wife is equally horrible, convinced of her husband's brilliance and her own, by association with him.

His wife does at least make an attempt to do something to change their lives. She decides they're going to move to Europe. She's listened to her husband all these years and is convinced that is the cure. She starts making plans to get a civil service job of some sort. I didn't really understand that part. It seemed to be very easy for her to apply and get this job, despite the fact that she'd not worked in years.

But her action is, in a way, calling her husband's bluff. What is he going to do in Europe? He's not an artist or a writer or an inventor. How is he going to uncover his true potential in Europe? This is when you realize that all he wanted to do was complain. He never though moving would be a possibility, and now that it is, he's panicking. Also, at this point, he's finally starting to get involved in his office job and isn't sure he wants to leave.

The husband is such a jerk. He's always thinking about himself and how he looks and what impression he's leaving on others. Some of the descriptions of conversations between him and his wife were so bothersome. They never spoke to each other like two people who knew each other and cared about each other. He was always playing a role. I got so frustrated with them, why didn't they just talk to each other and tell each other how they were feeling.

These two people didn't love each other, they didn't even like each other. They liked the impression other people had of them. He was handsome and she was pretty and they liked the way they looked together.

Their plans to move fall apart because of their carelessness. The situation looks to only be worsening and April again finds herself trying to make things better. I suppose the ending is sad, but I disliked the characters so much I didn't care all that much.

finished reading: June 15, 2010

Story Sisters by Alice Hoffman

2010-02-07T12:49:00.005-06:00

I like the way Hoffman interjects bits of magic into seemingly normal, every day stories. She does it so casually, in such a matter of fact way, that a reader almost believes that magic must exist around us, just as it does in Hoffman's books. At least that's what I choose to believe and I suppose these books seem to validate my own beliefs. There are fairies hovering in the window, demons hiding in the corners, pure thoughts create pure action, just as anger conjures evil.

The Story Sisters: A Novel is about three sisters in New York City who also have family in Paris that they visit. Their parents split up and their lives begin to fall apart. They try to cope by creating a magical world of their own, their own language and magical creatures. But then something truly horrible happens to one of the sisters and sets her on a path of self destruction. The magic created with her sisters loses its power and she turns to harsh reality of theft and drugs and sex.

I understand that we're supposed to feel sympathetic toward Elv because what happened was very bad and this is her way of coping. But she did terrible things to her family. She was so self-absorbed and didn't seem to care about who she was hurting. I hated her. As a reader, I knew that she'd had this bad experience (something the other characters in the story didn't know) but I still didn't feel sorry for her. She didn't seem tough, she seemed pathetic. Her actions ended up ruining the lives of the people who loved her the most. Any time someone tried to help her, she did her best to hurt that person more.

It's a very sad book, one tragedy after another. To some extent it seemed like too much. These sisters did nothing to deserve such a horrible life and yet things kept getting worse for them.

What I did like about the book though was the scenes in Paris. One of the sisters, Claire, goes to Paris to try to get away from the sadness. Her grandmother is there, and all of her grandmothers friends provide the support system that she needs to move on with her life. I loved the descriptions of Paris and the different colors in the sky. I thought of that on my recent trip to Paris, and I noticed the colors in the sky, the pink and orange and yellow as the sun sets in the evening. Also, when I walked around some of the neighborhoods, I noticed the little glass figures in the windows of shops and I thought of Claire's creations.

There's a hint of happily ever after in the end. The bad sister seeking redemption and I suppose we're expected to view her as a recovered person, but I felt too wary based on her past actions. I couldn't forgive, even if the rest of her family did.

I suppose I liked the book, without liking all of the characters.

finished reading a bit before 5 a.m. on Feb. 7, 2010

Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf

2010-01-20T22:47:00.006-06:00

An employee at Borders recommended this book. I told my book club about it and we decided to read it.

This is a story about a little girl who doesn't speak. She's a selective mute. She can speak, but she won't. She and her friend disappear one morning and the novel is about the family and law officers attempt to figure out what happened and find the children.

It's been a while since I read this, so I don't remember the exact details. I remember that the story held my interest. I didn't find it boring. But I also remember that the storyline seemed to get a little absurd. There were several villains in this story, and one seemed to appear near the end and wasn't really tied to the rest of the story. I don't want to give away spoilers, but I thought it seemed a bit odd.

What mostly stands out to me though is the mother in the story. There are few things that annoy me more than the sympathetic treatment of a neglectful mother. The mother in this story is portrayed as so pretty and so innocent and so abused and weak. All the men want her, even if just to make sure the other men can't have her. She made me so angry, and I don't think that was the author's intention. As I was reading this though, I felt like the mother was largely to blame because she should have gathered her children and gotten the hell out of the abusive situation in which they lived. She had family and friends who would have helped her, but she instead chose to be dependent on a man who beat her.

It was an okay book. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it either. I didn't like the characters very much. I even found the little girl annoying. Maybe it's just my general dislike of small town, rural life and their different value system that annoyed me. I'm a city girl and I like reading about people in cities.

Deja Dead by Kathy Reichs

2010-01-20T22:46:00.005-06:00

I am a huge fan of the TV show, Bones. Bones is based on the life of Kathy Reichs, who writes a series of books about a character named Temperance Brennan. If you watch the show, you may have noticed that in the show, Temperance (Bones) is a novelist, who writes a series of books about a character named Kathy Reichs. Anyway... Deja Dead is the first book in the Kathy Reichs' Temperance Brenan series. I'm always looking for a good mystery novel, and a great series to dive into would be especially nice, so I decided to start with this book.

I liked the story well enough. But the character of Temperance is so, so different from the character on the show. In the book, she lives in Canada and she's a recovering alcoholic and divorced with a grown daughter. She seems tired and weary and sad. She seems to be missing a lot of the traits that I love about the character on the show. On the show, Bones doesn't care about dating, she's not worried about her family, she's too involved in work to pay attention to anything else.

If I could view this book as something completely separate from the show, I may have liked it more. But I was a little disappointed. Also, I felt there were some weird coincidences. She happens to be helping out on a case and then, oh look at that, the killer is also stalking her because he happens to have newspaper articles about her in his house. I remember thinking that was odd because he would have had to have targeted her before he had any clue that she would be involved. I was also bothered that the criminal was able to get so close to her, and there seemed to be a lot of physical violence. I think I've said before, I'm more drawn to the intellectual investigations, less direct involvement with the killers.

I wanted to like this book so much that I would felt compelled to read the rest of the series. But I didn't feel that. I may read the other books, but I didn't feel the need to rush out and get the second book.

Finished reading Jan. 18 around 4 a.m.

Disquiet by Julia Leigh

2009-08-10T03:15:00.001-05:00

I selected this book because I like the title and the cover is beautiful. Probably not the best of reasons, but so be it.

A woman and her two children show up at her mother's home in France. Around this same time, the woman's brother and his wife and their dead baby show up. Gradually, through bits of dialogue and her interactions with others, the reader discovers the circumstances that led to her return home, as well as hints about her future plans.

I liked the book. It's a very short novel, a novella, I guess. A quick read about a family in France. I liked the style in which this was written. There are not any words wasted explaining the setting or background. The events are described, and it's up to the reader to figure out the back story. Once the full story is pieced together, the reader realizes in just a few words, there is a lot happening, or rather, a lot has happened that is currently affecting these characters.

I liked the atmosphere created in the book. It felt dark and moody: a French chateau; family secrets; mischievous children; sad, disappointed family members.

Overall, an interesting read. I enjoyed it, a nice way to spend an evening. Planning to read more by this author.

Almost Moon by Alice Sebold

2009-08-08T22:20:00.007-05:00

A friend, who knows me fairly well though she hasn't known me for very long, recommended I read this book. The fact that she felt it would resonate with me exemplifies how well she knows me.

This is the story of Helen and her relationship with her mother, and way that relationship has effected Helen in other aspects of her life.

The title comes from her father telling her that her mother is there, they just can't see all of her. Like the moon? asks Helen, we know it's there, but sometimes it's hidden.

The novel begins with Helen killing her mother and continues with her trying to figure out what to do next and remembering the events in her life that led her to her mother's death.

Her mother suffers from some form of mental illness though there is no indication that she was ever diagnosed or treated. Whatever her mother's problem, whether real or imagined, the result is that she's controlling and cruel. She does all she can to convince her daughter that no one could ever love her except for her. She expects her husband and child's world to revolve around her. She's weak outside of the home, but in complete control while inside.

The damage she inflicts on Helen is deep and lingering. Helen grows up, goes away to college, has a husband and children, all in her attempt to be normal, to have a life that didn't revolve around her mother. But eventually she loses all of that. She doesn't finish college, her marriage ends, and she returns to live in a home near her parents, supported by her father's money. Just as her mother wanted, she becomes her whole world.

This book is very well-written, hard to put down. Helen embarks on one shocking event after another, having no clue as to what she should do next. It paints what I would imagine to be, a very real picture of what goes through someone's mind when something so startling happens. Helen didn't perform a cold, calculated murder. Her actions were impulsive and she doesn't know what to do to remedy what's she's done. The characters are baffled by the events, not sure how one is supposed to behave following a murder.

I've only glanced at other reviews of this book, and noticed a lot of negative comments. I think that's because the book concerns a very harsh subject, a situation that is foreign to most people. I don't mean murder, we've all read plenty of murder stories, but rather the idea of a mentally disturbed mother. For some people, a relationship such as the one between Helen and her mother is too absurd to imagine. Oh, to be one of those people...

Despite being so engrossed in the story, there were times when I needed to set the book down and take a break because of the intensity of the story. There were moments that hit very close to home. Everyone says they have a "crazy" mother, but as I got older I realized that people have different definitions of crazy. Not everyone's mother belittles then and tries to destroy their self-confidence, not everyone's mother says mean hateful things to their children, or makes us stories to try to cause problems in their other relationships, or writes anonymous letters calling them whores. When I got older, I was surprised to learn that some people had mothers who actually provided emotional support and encouragement. At the age of 33, that still seems like a novel concept to me: a kind, caring mother.

Most of all though, I sympathized with Helen's attempts to get away. Hers failed. I find myself in that position, trying to escape and feeling like the world can come tumbling down with a crazy phone call, or -- because I had to quit answering my phone -- a crazy email. I find myself angry and wondering why I'm not allowed to live my own life, why I've had to spend so much of my life compensating for my mother's mental instability. Unlike Helen though, I have made the decision to never have a family out of fear of replicating the only example I had. Even though I know this story is fiction, Helen's failed attempt at having a family seems to validate my own beliefs.

My only issue with the book though was the ending. There was so much buildup and so much happening, then the book just ends. I felt like the story wasn't finished, that if anything, the real action had just started. I wanted to know what happened next, but the book was over.

Life of Pi

2009-08-05T13:24:00.004-05:00

My book club selected this book to read. I'd had it sitting by my bed for the past two years and several times I attempted to read it, but got distracted by something I considered more interesting.

I enjoyed the book. I didn't love it. A lot of people that I know absolutely love the book. I found it interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning when Pi is experimenting with different religions and is participating in three different ones, much to his modern, secular-minded father's horror.

But then Pi's family decides to move to Canada. Pi's father owned a zoo, and he's sold most of the animals to other zoos in America, so they're on a boat filled with animals when the boat sinks. Pi and a tiger named Richard Parker survive. This is when the real story begins. The book details Pi's attempts to survive on this boat in the middle of the ocean with a tiger as his only companion.

In the beginning he fears the tiger, but eventually they come to depend on each other and he regards the tiger as his friend.

This book is steeped in symbolism and probably requires multiple readings, or as the case with me, a thorough discussion involving multiple viewpoints.

To me though, this was a story about the power of one's imagination, and the way a person learns to survive in extreme circumstances. When the world becomes too unbearable to survive, Pi creates a new world in which he can exist until his situation changes.

The Song Is You by Arthur Phillips

2009-05-17T21:21:00.003-05:00

Before this book was even released, I read all sorts of glowing reviews about it. Beautiful writing, observational wit, a man and his iPod, a man who connects to his music, etc.

I like music, I was lured in by the reviews. I checked it out from the library as soon as it was released.

Let me just begin my review by saying I think this is a terrible book. And here is why I think this is a terrible book:

A man going through a mid-life crisis, who is disappointed with everything about his life, becomes obsessive about music. He falls for a young singer at a bar and begins to stalk her. There is nothing beautiful or romantic about this. He starts sending her emails and following her around, taking photos, he travels to Europe to see her. Creepy. And the worst part, the part that makes it clear that this book is being written by a man wanting to live out his own fantasies through his characters -- is that rather than be concerned by this stalking, the singer is flattered and yearning to meet her stalker.

This is the kind of story that supports the idea that women like being stalked, that we're flattered by obsessive creeps and invite the idea of being assaulted.

If this was the story of a woman stalking a male musician the woman would be considered crazy and delusional and fit for an institution.

When women write stories like this, about following around men they adore and then have their attention returned, the writing is dismissed as "chick lit." But when a man writes this kind of drivel, he's considered "one of the greatest writers of our time." I think not. I'm going to label this as "dick lit." This is nothing more than a man writing about his fantasies of hooking up with a young woman -- in this particular case, a talented, famous young woman. And just to make this nice and neat, after it becomes certain the young girl wants him, he decides to return to his wife and continue living a nice, normal life. Convenient. Gag. Wish I'd not wasted my time reading this book.

Marley and Me

2009-03-17T20:50:00.002-05:00

I watched the movie before I read the book, so I knew what was going to happen. But still, there I was on the airplane, sitting next to a stranger, crying uncontrollably, trying to wipe the tears away with the stupid, weak little airplane napkin they give you along with your drink.

If you've ever loved and lost a dog, then I suspect you can relate to this story.

I really liked this book.

American Wife by Curtis Sittenfield

2009-01-11T19:49:00.011-06:00

For my book club, we read Sittenfield's book Prep. I hated it, absolutely hated it. The main character was so weak, so desperate to please and be wanted. The explicit sex in the book was so awkward, which I suspect was appropriate considering the subject matter -- confused teenagers fucking.

But I was curious about Sittenfield's fictionalized take of Laura Bush.

Surely we all had moments where we wondered what Laura Bush thought about her husband and his policies. Was she angry, sad, encouraging, proud? Impossible to know behind the frozen expression on her face. The robot wife.

Some chose to believe that she must not approve. She's a woman who claims to love books and libraries. How can she stand by a man who so strongly disapproves of education and instead represents the antithesis of advancement through education?

No one understands the makings of a marriage except the two people involved. As viewers on the outside, we've no right to judge. But that doesn't mean we aren't at least curious.

After reading part of this though, I started feeling very angry for Laura Bush. Sittenfield has used some details about her life but added the same explicit sex that bothered me so much about Prep. Why would a person project those ideas onto the president's wife? Her intent could only be malicious. I doubt there was any sort of information to support what she wrote. The fact that she even thought this grossed me out.

I didn't finish reading the book. I tried reading the book, and then I listened to it on CD for a while during my daily commute, but one day I just quit because I realized I was bored.

Wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.

Water's Lovely by Ruth Rendell

2009-01-01T13:59:00.004-06:00

Ruth Rendell is one of my favorite writers and I'll read just about anything she writes.

This wasn't a favorite though. Family secrets and lies and unhappy relationships. The story was interesting enough, but it took me a long time to get through this book. I finally picked up a copy of the audiobook to listen to on a long drive over the holidays. I found the ending to be shocking and not necessary. The ending had nothing to do with the story, but was horrible and sad.

Breaking Dawn

2009-01-01T13:58:00.004-06:00

This is the fourth book in the Twilight series. I was so anxious for it to come out. I pre-ordered it at Borders and I stood in line with all the teenagers to get my copy at midnight the day it was released.

I was getting on a plane to Paris the next day. I didn't like taking such a large book with me, but I was glad to have the reading material. (Especially since I ended up sitting next to someone who didn't speak English, and the video system didn't work. That's right, ten hours in a plane with no TV - and it's nearly impossible for me to sleep on planes, especially at the beginning of the trip.)

I hated this book so much. And I felt so trapped with it. I couldn't discard the book because I had nothing else to read and nothing to watch and no one to talk to.

The book was absurd, filled with coincidences and convenient twists. Everything that had been said in the past books suddenly no longer held true. Becoming a vampire is a terrible process -- but oh wait, now it's suddenly simple and easy! Vampires can't have children. Well, this time they can! Just this once. Children are difficult and require a lot of work -- except for this one. She's special, grows at a rapid rate and is talking and walking in weeks. Brilliant! If the vampires in charge get angry, they'll show up and kill the people that angered them -- unless you talk a whole lot, then they'll just say okay and go back home.

As much as I defended the first three books and said they aren't harmful to teenage girls, I feel the exact opposite about this book. Never, never tell a teenage girl that having unprotected sex and an unplanned pregnancy will turn out all wonderful and happy. The author could have used this opportunity to make a statement, at least show the new parents struggling to figure out how to raise a child for which they were not prepared.

And the bit with Jacob. I almost forgot about that because it was so disgusting I've tried to block it out of my mind. Jacob is a pedophile. Nice. No, not nice, gross. So all you Team Jacob-ers, be ready, your guy is disgusting.

I hated this book. I'm angry that I wasted quality reading time trapped with this book. I wish I had never read it, then I could have gone on enjoying this series. But this book ruined it. I always tell people to avoid this book. But of course, it's the last book in a series, so they're going to read it, and in most cases, they will later with they hadn't.

Then We Came to an End by Joshua Ferris

2008-10-12T00:08:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since I read this book, I fell behind on my book reviews, but here's what I remember...

Do you watch the movie, Office Space, and the TV show, The Office, and laugh hysterically because it's so ridiculous and true? You laugh because you lived it, and you survived, or are surviving it, and you have to laugh to keep from crying?

I spent nine years in an office. I started making plans to leave about seven years in, and around that time, things started to fall apart. Moving in new directions, relocations, etc. It worked out well for me, around the time I was ready to leave, the company was ready to be rid of us, so I waited for the severance package. We all did okay.

It was after I'd been away from the office for a while that I found this book at the library. As is often the case, it was the title that attracted me. I thought it was a tragic love story. But instead it's the story of an office and what happens in an office when a group of people work together every day. It's about the way their unique, individual personalities mesh and collide. In this particular case, it is about what happens in such an office when the economy takes a hit, and downsizing begins - which explains the title.

As I was reading this, I thought, this person must have worked at the same company I worked. I did some research, thinking of all the wanna-be writers at our news distribution service. I was unable to find any connections, and it was then I realized that all offices, for the most part, are very much the same. It doesn't matter if they are distributing news or paper or plastic, in the end, it's all the same.

The story rang so true. I could match the characters with characters from my own experiences in the corporate world. It was funny and it was sad because that's what real life is.

I've recommended this book to all of my former co-workers, though I don't think any of them took me up on the recommendation. It's an enjoyable read, if only for nostalgic purposes. I don't know that I'd find it so humorous if I was still in that situation.

And here's the website that accompanied the book, which I found to be amusing: http://www.hachettebookgroup.com/features/twctte/twctte_022307/index.html

Sundays at Tiffanys by James Patterson

2008-09-21T13:33:00.001-05:00

A sad little girl has an imaginary friend named Michael. Years later, as an adult -- who is still tormented by her overbearing mother -- Michael returns to her life. They fall in love and live happily ever after.

But no explanation is ever provided as to how this is possible. Why is Michael suddenly real and no longer imaginary? Am I expecting too much to want to know this?

I was drawn to this book because -- well, how can I put this without sounding a little off? -- I'm a big believer in imaginary friends. I exist almost entirely within my head. I gave up on real, human relationships long ago. I couldn't handle the disappointment. I became attached too easily and broken too completely. As a child, I created a group of people to befriend me because I didn't have the social skills to make real friends. As an adult, while I'm sane enough to realize imaginary friends are indeed imaginary and not real, I keep them alive by writing about them. I never give much thought to my real world surrounding, I'm too busy focusing on my fictional people. I tell myself someday I'll put the story together, call it a novel and turn it into my livelihood, but honestly, I think I just keep the characters going because without them, I'd be alone, completely and totally alone.

I can write this because the few people I know who read this already know that I'm, well, how did I describe it earlier? ... a bit off.

Anyway, point being, I had hoped this book would further explore the idea of people depending on imaginary friends. I needed an explanation. I'd assumed that the story would be about someone who met a person who embodied everything she's once yearned for in an imaginary friend. But none of that happened. The imaginary friend had no explanation and he agreed that he was very much imaginary.

Very disappointing book.

The Next Thing on my List by Jill Smolinski

2008-09-21T13:22:00.005-05:00

I enjoyed this book quite a bit.

I read about this book while reading a story about people making lists. I'm a big list maker. Books to read this summer, things to do before I turn 30 (that one passed a few years ago), places to visit, languages to learn, you get the idea.

This book is about a woman, June, drifting through her life. She's content enough, but doing only what she needs to do to get by. She meets a woman, Marissa, at a Weight Watchers meeting, they're in a car wreck and the woman dies. Later, a list is found in the car, "things to do before I turn 25" that belonged to the Marissa. June is well past 25, but she's struck by the list and the idea of Marissa having these goals, and not ever having the chance to fulfill them. It's been a few months since I've read the book, but if I recall correctly, while visiting the cemetery she runs into Marissa's brother and in an attempt to strike up a conversation with him and she tells him that she's decided to finish the list for Marissa.

What becomes apparent is that June has never had a list or a set of goals. As I said, she's drifted through life, letting life happen to her. For the first time ever, she's got a purpose and this changes her.

What I thoroughly enjoyed about the book was the manner in which it was written. June seemed like such a real character. In so many ways, unfortunately, I could relate to her -- settling in a boring job, living alone, drifting. I'm around her age, and constantly faced with the same realization that I stopped living my life years ago, just threw in the towel and decided I'd observe from the side. Throughout the book, she name drops bits of pop culture that reminds me that she's one of my contemporaries. Her surprise of Marissa's love for Trent Reznor, without providing a description of Trent Reznor ... women of a certain age and mindset know exactly what was meant, no elaboration needed, those older and younger, well, this book isn't really meant for them, is it?

Near the end of the book, I thought the storyline got a little bizarre. One item on the list was to change someone's life. She takes on a troubled teenager, and then possibly too caught up in the idea of goals and changing the world gets too involved with the teen, almost destroys her own life in her zeal to save this girl. It all works out in the end, but it seems a little too simple and neat.

In the end though, you feel that June has begun living with a purpose, and that's what matters. She'll never go back to drifting again. She's involved and present, no longer a neutral observer. And that's a whole lot more than I've been able to accomplish in my 32 years of life.

Overall though, I enjoyed the book and would readily recommend it to anyone in need of light, yet inspiring, read.

For One More Day by Mitch Alborn

2008-09-21T12:49:00.000-05:00

This book was supposed to be a selection for our book club. Not something I would have normally read.

The person who suggested the book really liked it.

Didn't do much for me. As I said later when we discussed the book, it left me underwhelmed.

I read it a few months ago, and now that I'm writing this, I remember very little about the book, it had that kind of non-impact.

The story is all about this guy who is on the verge of ending his life. As he's dying he's thinking of the ways his mother supported him and the ways he didn't support his mother. He was a young boy who wanted love from his dad. He was being raised by his mom though, his dad having left, or his mom having left his dad. (His dad was having an affair, had an entirely other family off in another town, I don't remember now if the mother discovered this and ended the marriage or if the father chose the other family over her.)

The mother had a rough life, being single in a time when being divorced was quite scandalous.

But for the most part, the son didn't behave any differently than any other young boy would behave. He loved baseball; he loved his father. He was too young to understand the sacrifices his mother made. As he got older he should have known better, one stupid moment in particular that stands out was the father dragging his son away from the mother's birthday party to participate in a game for old-timers. The son is a grown man by now and at that point should have had the good sense to tell his dad, "Nope, sorry, I'm busy today."

I guess the idea of the book is that the man's life is in shambles because he didn't love his mother enough. As he lays dying, he revisits his mother and he realizes she loved him unconditionally. This changes his life. He survives and changes his life, because a part of abandoned daughter's life and all is well.

It's all a little too simple and silly for me. The nice thing about the book is that it is quite short, so I didn't feel like I lost much time in reading it, but I didn't think I gained much from it either.

Strapless by Deborah Davis

2008-09-21T12:32:00.004-05:00

When I saw John Singer Sargent's Portrait of Madame X for the first time at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, I didn't anything about the painting's history. I just thought the picture was beautiful. The placement at the museum ensures that she's seen from a distance.

After I left the museum, I wanted to know more about this painting.

That's when I learned about the scandal this painting caused. This painting created such an uproar, it ruined Singer Sargent's career for a while.

There are a few books written on the subject. I found this one at the library and enjoyed it quite a bit.

It's a nonfiction book, but written in such a way that it reads as easily as a novel. It tells the story of how Singer Sargent wanted to paint Virginie Gautreau, an American living in Paris. She's described as the "it" girl at the moment. He believed painting her would be advantageous to his career. But everything backfired on both of them.

The picture, because one strap of the dress was depicted as falling off her shoulder, was deemed too scandalous. The pale skin and haughty look on the subject's face were considered offensive. According to the critics, she looked as if she were ready for or had just had sex.

The book reveals quite a bit about the artist, as well as the subject and the effects of the scandal.

I thought the book provided an entertaining way to gather some art history. I'd recommend to anyone who wanted to know more about this painting.

Twilight, New Moon & Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

2008-07-09T16:49:00.005-05:00

I realize it's very hip to hate on these books. Write them off as teen trash or whatever.

But I liked them.

They reminded me of a time in my life -- a long, long time ago -- when I still believed it was possible to fall completely and totally in love. A time in my life when I dreamed of a beautiful, handsome boy falling in love with me.

I'm old now, I've never loved anyone and don't expect anyone to ever love me in return, and I'm very okay with that. I've had years to get used to the feeling. But sometimes it's nice to revisit that memory of hope and wondering about what might be.

For all the people who get up in arms about how horrible it is that Bella allows Edward the power in the relationship, isn't first love supposed to be irrational? You don't stop to analyze the long term effects. Not when you're a teenager and ruled by your hormones. You just fall, right? What do I know? But this is how I would imagine it to be.

I really liked Bella. She reminded me of myself in high school. Not caring about fashion or trends, keeping to herself. Of course, I didn't have a beautiful vampire boy fall in love with me :( She's not created to a feminist hero, but she is a character that the not-so-popular girls might be able to relate to. The character represents the idea that you don't have to be dumb and blonde and obsessed with the brand of your shoes to get a boyfriend.

Some of the complaints about the books are so silly. How dare they not have sex! Edward is repressing her desires. Really, that's a bad thing? Edward is trying to be careful and mature by having them wait for sex. Well, damn. That evil bastard. Because you know teen girls don't have enough sex and wouldn't it be awful if they allowed boys to tell them to wait? Whatever.

Then there are the claims that Edward is too protective of her, always watching her. Well, duh, he's worried about her. She's clumsy. He's in love and not completely rational. His actions are hardly dangerous or creepy. We've already established that he's not stalking her to have sex with her. And in the second book, he leaves her because he thinks that is best for her safety. Isn't that sort of the opposite of stalkerish.

I really don't feel there was anything in these books that would have a long lasting negative effect on young girls. If it makes them want to wait to have sex, well, that seems like a good thing. If they are deluded into thinking men are supposed to be considerate, concerned and protective, then maybe they'll not give in to the first teenage loser who expects a blow job. As a teacher, I am supportive of anything that encourages teenagers to wait to have sex, even if it gives them false illusions about relationships. At some point, they'll realize they're not going to meet a gentlemen vampire, and they'll, sadly, they'll move on to normal men.

When I was in high school, I loved classic literature, but I also read all kinds of trashy books -- Danielle Steel and bodice ripper historical romances, Christopher Pike. I didn't turn into a nympho or a drug used. All these people worried about the effect Twilight will have on teenage girls -- just be glad they're reading!

Reading is supposed to be fun. Sometimes it can be profound and meaningful, but it doesn't always have to be. These books were fun and harmless as far as I could tell and I enjoyed reading them.

The fourth book, though, that's a whole different story...

Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald

2008-04-26T11:51:00.002-05:00

I read this book back in high school because I love Gatsby and I was haunted by the title. So beautiful. And the story that it told was as beautiful as the title.

I decided to re-read it though because while I could say that I loved the story, the prose -- as expected from Fitzgerald -- paints such a captivating pictures of a tragic love affair and Paris and the French Riveria -- I was fairly certain that I was too young to fully understand what all was happening in the story.

So I read the book again. It was as beautiful and tragic as I remember. A doctor falls in love with a mental patient. He seems to be the only person capable of saving her. But he does too well in caring for her -- at least that would be his assessment. After years of marriage and two children, Nicole becomes well -- as well an anyone else at least. And seeing that she is no longer dependent on him, her husband Dick Diver begins to lose interest. Instead he's drawn to young actress, attracted by her youth and her need. Dick doesn't want to be in love, he doesn't want a healthy partner, he wants someone dependent on him. He wants to be the hero, his lover's salvation. He has no use for a healthy Nicole. Therin lies the tragedy.

The story is about their love affair, their marriage and then subsequent disintegration of their relationship. While that could be a story told a million times, one which happens in at least half of all relationships, it's Fitzgerald's prose that makes this story worth reading. This is the kind of writing that makes you ache and you feel their lives falling apart, watch them begin to go their different directions and realize their love was never love at all.

Finished reading: April 20, 2008 (second time)

What the Dead Know by Laura Lippman

2008-02-24T22:40:00.001-06:00

I'm fairly picky about my mysteries. Only those written by British women, and then only by a handful of authors. But when establishing those sorts of limits, you are well, obviously, significantly limiting your reading options.

At the end of the year, I tend to peruse the best of lists to get an idea as to what I want to add to next year's reading list. This book was mentioned several times, it's a mystery, written by an American woman, and was lauded as a thrilling mystery. And yet, by the time I finished it, I remembered why I prefer the British.

Two young girls go missing at the mall. After an extensive investigation, there are no clues. Thirty years later, a woman is in a car wreck, attempts to flee the scene and when she's caught, she claims to be one of the missing Bethany girls. Thus begins the story...

The story flips back and forth between now and then, including examinations of the effects on the parents and the investigators, intertwined with flashbacks from the mystery woman. I found this to be aggravating because the only mystery is the tease the author is creating for the reader. The actual events cover two or three days and aren't nearly as exciting. A hesitant, spoiled woman with selective memory, a detective who wants to screw anything that moves and a sad divorcee and an angry lawyer are all standing around waiting for the truth.

There are too many characters who have no real impact on the story. While the writing succeeds in keeping the reader guessing, upon learning the truth, it feels like such a wasted effort. It was set up to seem so mysterious and horrible and in the end, it's all quite pathetic. The implied cruelty was not at all what was implied, and was in fact very much a hell of the victim's own making. Harsh, yes, but I felt no sympathy at all for this character.

As I said, the story drags out for quite a while, with teases and hints and blind flashbacks from the mystery woman. Then the whole truth is quickly explained in about ten or so pages, leaving me saying, "What the hell? That's what happened?" Very, very unsatisfying read. So many other books I could have been reading during this time.

My biggest issues with the story -- it's set up to imply that the girls are much younger than they are. As I read it, I kept thinking, two, young, innocent little girls. (I realize their ages must have been mentioned, but still... ) And in the conclusion, the innocent young girls become fiesty, rebellious women. Didn't see that coming, at all. Maybe that's my own fault. But if that was the case, why was it regarded only as a kidnapping, and not a potential runaway situation?

Another problem was that it was not at all believable. The parents are described as being open-minded and progressive. The mother even points out that these weren't the sort of children who would go off with someone claiming to be a cop because their father had taught them to question authority. But if they were such great parents, why would their daughter behave in such a way? It doesn't make sense at all. As horrible as the events are, for the characters to behave in the way they do initially and then continue to behave in such a way for the next thirty years? Their behavior is more like that expected from children who have abusive or cold, distance parents, not the liberal, loving ones described.

I didn't enjoy this book. I liked it even less when I learned later that it was loosely based on a real life case. Meaning the events that did make sense in the story were copied from real life and the assumption as to what happened -- the part that seemed so absurd was the work of the author.

Giving by Bill Clinton

2008-02-22T22:27:00.000-06:00

I've always been a Clinton fan. Bill was the president of my idealistic youth. Granted, he broke my heart with the Lewinsky scandal, but I forgave him and moved on.

In the last few years, I've been quite impressed with the way he has stayed involved in the world. He could sit back and relax, his job done, but instead he's still out there, doing whatever he can to make this a better world. He and his wife could retire comfortably right now, but they both believe so strongly in public service, they keep working.

I saw Bill Clinton talking about this book on Oprah and then checked out a copy at the library. It took me a while to getting around to read it, but I needed something safe to read while at school, something that I wouldn't mind stopping and starting and this seemed convenient for that purpose.

This book is specifically about ways people give and contribute to the world through money, time or service. It serves not only to praise though who have given, but also as a way to provide examples to others who want to do the same. A person doesn't have to be rich or brilliant, everyone has something they can contribute.

This book felt a little dull in the beginning, but as I continued reading, I found myself getting excited about the opportunities discussed. It gradually starts to sink in that everyone does have something to give. As I was reading, in the back of my mind, I started thinking of things I can do. I don't have any money -- I'm unemployed at the time, making just enough to pay my bills by doing some substitute teaching. But I can paint, and maybe I could contribute paintings to my favorite causes, let them sell the work and keep the money. Little things like that. Reading it felt empowering.

It's a nice read, with a lot of inspiring stories. The sort of book I think everyone should read, but the people who need it most won't.

Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx

2008-02-17T22:28:00.000-06:00

Nikki Sixx was one of my first loves. Oh my god, Nikki Sixx. Say his name and even now, I feel a twinge and if you knew how thoroughly frigid I am, you'd know what a feat that is. Hmmm, Nikki, darling Nikki, the ignitor of so many fiery young fantasies.

I was such a repulsively boring good girl during the teenage years, not because I was sincerely good, but rather because I was profoundly bored with what was available to me in the desert wasteland of west Texas. While my empty-headed, desperate female classmates spent their free time necking with dusty, tobacco chewing shit kickers, I sat alone in my room, escaping into a pencil drawing, a thick book, old movie or dreams of Nikki Sixx.

Mind you. I said Nikki was one of my firsts... Jon Bon Jovi was my absolute first and my teenage bedroom reflected my devotion to my first, the walls covered in Jon, Jon, Jon. But Jon is all things good and pure. Part of the adoration of Jon is the fact that he married his high school sweetheart and because I placed him so high up a pedestal, he was elevated to god-like status and well, you get the idea. Nikki, though, he was the opposite of good and pure and the object of a whole different sort of adoration. I hung a huge poster of Nikki Sixx inside my closet door, hidden from the casual eyes, it was from the Dr. Feelgood era, he was wearing a pair of unzipped leather pants, shirtless, exposing his pierced nipples and tattoo-covered chest and arms. His hair was aqua-netted to hell, long and black and sticking out in every direction and he had twisted snarl on his face. Oh, Nikki... I was certain that only a man like Nikki could succeed in melting this ice queen... I'm not so sure I was wrong in that assumption.

But anyway...

Now that I've revealed my past history with Nikki, it only makes sense that I'm going to find a way to get my hands on anything by or about Nikki... even now that I've reluctantly accepted the role of frumpy, spinster school teacher.

The Heroin Diaries looks gorgeous. Fans have been hearing about this book for years, wondering if it would ever be released. It looks as if a lot of time was put into this tome. Each page is illustrated, it includes new art, as well as old photographs, all in a collaged, scrapbook-on-crack sort of way, in an impressive red, black and white color scheme. On looks alone, it stands ahead of most rock biographies.

The premise of the book is that Nikki found some old journals, written during an especially bad year (1987) of his drug addiction, and has decided to make those public to provide a cautionary tale and show the sort of damage and horror that accompanies heroin addiction.

The story is interesting enough, quite disturbing actually, as he details the paranoia and the drug deals, the damage and the depression that accompanies loving drugs more than anything else. Throughout the book, quotes from bystanders in the experience are included, as a way to confirm or at times contradict Nikki's writing. I don't doubt the truth of his stories, though I am suspicious of the accuracy of his writing. He seems too aware of his downward spiral. He knows when he's being paranoid and he knows when he's being excessive. If you were that aware, would you continue down that path? I don't know. That being said, I know that I could glance through some of my old journals and read my own writing in which I elaborated on being lazy and stuck in a dead-end job and paranoid and very aware of my own dire circumstances and doing absolutely nothing to change the situation, content to merely record the misery. So I'm not exactly an authority on this.

However, as a cautionary tale, I don't think the story is successful. It's an interesting read for a fan who is interested in the life of Nikki Sixx. But there is nothing in this story that will warn an impressionable young, potential drug user away from these substances. For the average, sane minded, person, then yes, it's a horrifying picture of what drugs can do. But for the type of person most likely to get involved with this junk... not so much. I say this based on my experience around teenagers. For the most part, they aren't especially wise, and I can see them devouring the book and saying, "oh my god, Nikki's so awesome, he did drugs all night and banged fifteen women, he crashed his motorcycle and walked home. He pulled a gun on his drug dealer and torn down the blinds. He went to Hong Kong and he made an ass of himself on the train, isn't that hilarious? I wanna be just like Nikki."

I hear the kids sitting around whispering and laughing about their own drunken exploits or how someone jumped out of the window on acid or was naked in the front yard, etc. You get the idea. They aren't scared of much and think they can survive anything.

And the reason this really doesn't work as a cautionary tale is because Nikki survived. He hit rock bottom, he stayed away from drugs for a while, but then he went back to them. (At the end of the story, he provides a timeline explaining his ups and downs with his career and drug use following the year described in the book.) These experiences didn't even serve as a cautionary tale for him. Nikki lived this excessive, decadent life, and he lived to tell about it and now he's successful and he has a family and he's still making great music and he's pursuing other career venues. He didn't end up dead or broke or alone or living in a cardboard box on the street. He's doing great, which stands as a testament to his talent and his strength -- something a lot of people don't have. I'm glad he's doing well because, well, I mentioned my adoration for him earlier in this post. But I don't see how his experiences serve as a caution for others tempted to follow that path. If anything, I feel like that decadent lifestyle is glamorized to some extent. Yes, he was battling drugs, but he was still living a life most people only dream about -- drugs, sex and rock and roll.

One issue I had though was the many quotes about how Vince Neil is a jerk. After a while, I was like, "Okay, we get it, no one likes Vince, you made the point." And the repeated mentions of "poor" Mick Mars' illness. They went into this quite a bit in Dirt and I didn't really care then either. Most readers of Heroin Diaries probably read Dirt, so why bring that all up again?

Also, I could have done without the pictures of the naked girls -- including those sort of added to the "glamorous" aspect -- he's trying to describe how bad life was on drugs, but then he's showing pictures of the naked chicks he banged? And what part of that was considered bad?
He talks about ending up with stupid women, but what did he expect, picking up strippers and drug users and women so willing to have sex within minutes of meeting him? Nice, smart girls don't behave that way. He does at one point make a comment about ending up with garbage when you pick through the trash. Still... including those photos sort of detracted from the supposed message he was trying to present.

I recommend this book to all Motley Crue or Nikki Sixx fans, anyone interested in rock bios or the metal music of the late 80s, mid-90s, or the L.A. glam/punk scene of that time period. I enjoyed the read. I picked it up at 3 a.m. one night and didn't put it down until I finished it around 8 a.m. And after reading it, I love Nikki just as much as I ever did, and that's quite a bit...

Rules for Saying Goodbye by Katherine Taylor

2008-01-21T01:11:00.000-06:00

I love the title of this book. Every time I walked past it on the "new release" shelf, it caught my eye. But I was always looking for a specific book. Finally I picked it up to find out what it was about. The blurb on the jacket said something along the lines of, "Katherine's in Rome and she's just broken up with her boyfriend and she needs to get her act together."

I had just returned from Rome. After taking a big trip, I like to bask in the memories, spending forever organizing the vacation photos and reading about the places I saw. Seemed like a good reason to check this out.

Well, the blurb is stupid and misleading. This isn't about about a woman in Rome trying to recover from a bad relationship. The event mentioned in the blurb doesn't happened until near the end of the book. The part of the book that takes place in Rome is a very small, and rather minor part of the story. London also plays a role in the story, but most of the action takes place in New York City -- areas of New York that are familiar to me and added to my reasons for liking this book -- despite being misled by the book jacket.

It isn't quite literature, but it is significantly better than the typical, "chick lit" filling the shelves these days. This is more along the lines of Melissa Banks' books. (I loved Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing and Wonder Spot.)

This is the story of Kate and follows her life from attending a boarding school in Massachusetts to going to college in California and then moving into a rent controlled apartment in New York. She's trying to be a writer, but her life is quite comfortable working as a bartender, staying up all night and sleeping during the day. Sometimes she dates, sometimes she falls for guys and at one point she moves to London with a guy who eventually provides the inspiration for the essay titled: Rules for Saying Goodbye. She returns to New York and goes back to bartending and develops something of an email relationship with another European guy. She moves to Rome, she falls in love with the email guy. He proposes, she meets his family and somewhere along the way, she becomes aware of what she wants in her life, or rather what she doesn't want.

What I enjoyed about the book was the way the characters rang true. From her crazy, selfish mother to her strange cousins and unstable classmates, these never felt false. I could recognize my friends and myself in the people she described as she reached adulthood. The life she detailed reminded me of the life I wished I'd lived when I was younger. I know people like her and her acquaintances. These are "my people" -- the writers, artists, musicians, actors, bartenders.

But a glance at some of the harsh reviews on amazon displays that these people are not for everyone. We don't fit into the expected mold, the sort who grow up, see the light and focus our lives on pairing up and reproducing. But it's nice to find a book like this and realize that we do exist.

She wasn't especially ambitious, (sadly, again I can relate) but she did care more about having a career than having a man. She cared about her friends and cared about the people who were important to her. She'd not the typical heroine, in hot pursuit of a man, any man to put a ring on her finger, which some people may find disconcerting.

I liked the book. It's a light read, but a fun read. I loved the characters in the story, after the book was over I wanted to know more. But I got the distinct impression that part of the story was over. She left New York, she moved to L.A., putting that part of her life behind her. Time to grow up or at least start over in a new place. It's a nice book and lately, I've been recommending it to everyone who brings up the subject of books.

Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

2007-10-31T14:44:00.001-05:00

When asked, I've described this book as Wuthering Heights times ten, or Jane Eyre on crack. And in case it isn't obvious, descriptions like that indicate that I loved this book.

It's the story the Bronte sisters would have written had they not been restricted by social conventions. This is wonderfully dark and creepy -- exactly what I was wanting to read to put me in a dark, fall mood.

The main character, a historian/researcher who works at her father's rare book store, is approached by an author to write her life story. The character isn't sure she wants the job, but she's intrigued, so she goes to visit the author. Soon she finds herself investigating a disturbing story about a disturbed family - neglectful parents and demented children - and the damage they wrought upon those around them.

I don't want to give anything away except to say that this is the perfect book for a late, stormy evening.

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

2007-08-13T17:42:00.001-05:00

Everyone I know has read Kite Runner. It's an incidental thing, not a case of everyone saying "you must read this book" but rather, a more casual, "hey I just read this book the other day, have you heard of it?"

If you liked Kite Runner, I suspect you will like this book as well, the second book from the same author. I found that I liked and disliked in this book the same elements that I liked and disliked in Kite Runner.

I find the history included in the story to be compelling. The author has a way of educating his readers about a part of the world to which we are largely ignorant, and he does so while telling an engrossing story. Accidental education, you think you're just enjoying a story when in fact you're learning something.

The characters led such brutal and harsh lives. This, I know, is unfortunately a reflection of the reality of what women have endured in Afghanistan. That might be what makes the story so hard to digest, the awareness that this is happening in the world. This was not a third world country, this was a prosperous nation, and it all fell apart, and remains in pieces.

The novel spans several generations of women, and many phases of Afghanistan's history -- the Soviet occupation, the warlords, the Taliban, the U.S. bombing, and finally, the current time period, which unfortunately may be a return of the Taliban. By reading this book we understand how the people were affected and in this case the women in particular.

There were times when I didn't feel as if the female characters rang true. These were clearly female character created by a man. I was unnerved by the nine year old thinking she was in love. That was too young for a child to have feelings like that. She was describing the sort of feelings that usually don't happen until later teens. I had to go back and read the part because I was so startled when I saw the line that "she was almost ten years old." I never felt especially close to the characters. Their situations took on a soap opera like element with so many extreme situations, the deaths, the pregnancies, the betrayals, so many characters that were pure evil versus characters that were pure good. While I found the situation and the portrayals of war in the city to be devastating, I felt numb to individual characters.

The coincidences bothered me. They didn't seem as absurd in this book as they were in the other, but nonetheless they were there. When I mentioned this a friend pointed out "that's what happens in fiction." Maybe, in some fiction, not the type I usually read. If this didn't bother you in Kite Runner, it won't bother you in this book.

Despite my criticisms, I'm glad I read it because I am interested in the history of the Middle East. I believe that a lot of people will enjoy it, in the same way that they've enjoyed Kite Runner.

finished reading: August 13, 2007

On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan

2007-08-02T17:44:00.001-05:00

I found the premise of this book intriguing. A young couple's wedding night, both virgins, contemplating the consummation of their marriage.

The setting is the 1950s, right before the sexual revolution. According to the book, they live in a time before it was fun to be single, it was necessary to be part of a couple in order to enjoy what the world had to offer.

Much of the book consists of the thoughts in their head. Reminding each other of how they met, how they fell in love, and the concern and frustration over what to expect, how to react, what to do in this next step of adulthood, the beginning of a marriage.

He's so eager and she's simply terrified. But they're both entirely too polite with each other. They haven't quite grasped the concept that they are going to be spending the rest of their lives together.

They've both had unusual upbringings, his mother was brain damaged and his father had to be both parents to his three young children and care taker to his wife. She had a cold, distant mother who certainly never took the time to talk to her daughter about something like sex. It is also hinted ever so slightly that she might have had an improper relationship with her father. But again, it could be the confusion of a child. (I've read Atonement by this same author, a book about lives ruined because of a child's confusion regarding sex.)

As I read this, I felt so much aching empathy for the female character. Because even in modern times, if a person doesn't know what to expect, if she's never been told, if she's having to gather second-hand information... It made me wonder how a man could write something so accurate with regard to a woman's feelings. I tend to not read books written by men, especially if they presume to understand women. But I continue to read work by McEwan because he does seem to understand his subject matter and he creates women that are real, and not the hysterical, over-emotive and/or cardboard characters created by most male writers. In this instance, I was especially impressed. A man who has such a strong understanding of the thoughts in a woman's head is quite rare.

It's a small, compact book. The action takes place in one night. Easy to read while laying out in the sun. Probably not considered a beach read, despite its title, but I did read it while sunning, all at once. Gave me a bit of a sunburn because I stayed outside a little too long. But I couldn't stop reading.

It's very sad. In the end, I found the story to be a cautionary tale about what happens when a person doesn't express his or her feelings. If these two people would have just told each other what was going on in their minds, then they probably would have had a good laugh, realizing they were on exactly the same page, and worked through their fears. They loved each other and that should count for something. But when pride stands in front of love, a person may retain their pride, but that might be all that is left.

It's a beautiful story, and as I've said in other reviews, I don't especially enjoy McEwan's books, but I think they are very well written. In this case, the writing was so powerful, I couldn't stop thinking about the book after I read it. I had to keep reminding myself that the characters were fictional and that it was silly to get so upset over what happened to them. When something sticks with you like that, that's the mark of excellent writing.

finished reading: August 1, 2007

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows

2007-07-30T17:54:00.001-05:00

I was in Italy when the book was released. I got my copy about a week after everyone else did because I selected the free shipping on amazon.com I got it on Friday, read about a hundred pages on Saturday, a hundred more on Sunday, on Monday, I got up around 4 or 5 am and started reading it, and I didn't get out of bed until I finished reading it.

I loved this book. I was disappointed with Book 6 because I didn't like what happened to my beloved Snape. My friends were worried that I wouldn't make it through this book.

I admit the first of it was slow going for me. I got a little tired of Harry, Ron and Hermoine in a tent in the woods. Once I got past that though, by the time I was about halfway through the story, I couldn't put it down.

I was pleased with the ending. Overwhelmingly relieved that I wasn't wrong in loving the "bad boy." At the very end, I had a tear in my eye at the mention of "the bravest man I ever knew."

Bravo to JK Rowling for creating this excellent series. Something most writers can only dream of doing -- producing seven well-written, interesting, exciting, beloved novels.

I look forward to re-reading these someday, during a lazy summer, maybe while retreating to a cottage in Britain, accompanied by a visit to Oxford. Someday.

finished reading: July 30, 2007

Evening by Susan Minot

2007-07-07T19:10:00.001-05:00

I decided to read Evening after seeing the previews for the movie. I’m so glad I read it before watching the movie because the movie was phenomenally disappointing, whereas the book was beautiful.

The book tells the story of Ann’s last days. Much of the story is Ann’s morphine induced rambling, one memory blurring into the next. “I will always, I will never.” The words of every argument, every promise, every broken heart. Once I was involved in the story, I found these passages to be the most poignant element of the story. At the end of one’s life, this is all these days become: fragments, simple phrases that merge into the next, one moment indistinguishable from another, with a few bright, crystalline exceptions.

For Ann, the exception was the weekend of her best friend’s wedding, an event more significant than the three weddings of her own that she would later have.

While the movie is simple and predictable, the book is raw and complicated. During Ann’s final days, she reflects on the idea that when she’s gone, all her memories will go with her. She tries to make some sense of her life, looking around at her many possessions and realizes that she isn’t the things she owned, that her children will not carry on her true essence. All the things that made her who she is exist inside of her and will soon be gone. She had three husbands and gave birth to five children. She endured abuse and loss, she had big houses and pretty things.

She arrives at the conclusion that if life has high and low points, then her highest point happened when she was 25, the weekend of her Lila's wedding. Everything after that was less. Ann got married and had children, over and over again, because it seemed like the thing to do. She submitted to men who would take care of her and adore her, but she always kept her heart to herself, never loving her husbands, never feeling close to her children. And during her last moments all she could think of was the man she believed she fell in love with during the weekend of her friend’s wedding.

But the reader is aware of things Ann doesn’t know, revealing that the love she felt for Harris was one sided. He had no intention of their relationship lasting beyond the weekend. He belonged to another. Ann was beautiful and vibrant, this is clear not only from Harris’ attraction but also the subsequent men who insisted on having her. Harris wanted to have sex with her. He wasn’t different from any other man. But he never planned to spend his life with her.

To Ann though, Harris represented a time in her life when she was happy and hopeful. A time when she was a young woman living in New York City and still believed that she would be a successful singer. I don’t think Ann honestly regarded him as her one true love but after a life of failed loves, she looked back on her time with him as holding potential that was never fulfilled, like so much of her life. She was happy in his arms and she never felt that kind of happiness again. The morning after her last night with Harris, her world fell apart because of a tragedy. Innocence lost. He was the last good thing before everything became real and horrible.

I enjoyed this book because it served as a reflection of a time in which women felt they had few options. They weren’t supposed to go out on their own. They were supposed to get married and have babies. Ann did what was expected of her, and she never lived the life she wanted to have.

And when the evening of her life fell upon her, she saw the brightest, happiest moments of her life. It's a story about regret and guilt and the agony of wondering what might have been.

Atonement by Ian McEwan (audio)

2007-06-12T13:31:00.002-05:00

This was our most recent book club selection, though it seems that our book club will never meet to discuss this book.

Every attempt to read this left me uninterested. I decided to pick up the audio version of the book in an act of desperation. I spend at least an hour and half on the road every day, so I figured I could get it listened to in a week or so.

Point being, I listened to this. I didn't actually sit down and read it. I don't know if that matters, but anyway…

Overall, I didn't enjoy the book that much. The heavy wording doesn't seem appropriate for the rather simple storyline. A young girl with an over active imagination accuses an innocent man of a horrible crime. And for some reason that is never quite explained, everyone believes her, despite the lack of evidence. The most likely explanation is that it was a class issue, the child was from a well off family, the man she accused was the servant's son. The life of the person accused is ruined. He serves time and is then forced into the army. This takes place during WWII, I believe.

The book describes his life and the horrors he witnesses while in the army. Also, the reader learns about the life of the woman who loved him. They had one brief encounter before he was sent away. Being that she's the sister of the accuser, she cuts off her family and creates a life of her own as a nurse. She lives a lonely life, waiting for her lover to be free. One highlight of the book is the description of their passion and devotion to each other that continues during their time apart. It's a romance created by letters and ideas and desires because they never had the chance to act on their feelings for each other.

In the end, it is revealed that Briony finally realized that she had done and the harm she caused. But by then it was too late. Evidently she becomes a successful writer. There is one absurd passage in the book though where she submits her story and it's rejected. However, her rejection letter is accompanied by a long glowing review of what a remarkable writer she is. The letter contains numerous questions about what she's written, suggesting that maybe she focus on the consequences of the behavior in the story – the story is, of course, the story of what she thought she saw. The reviewer seems to be the one that points out to Briony the error in her beliefs, emphasizing that this story is a tale told by a confused child, not a recollection of an actual event.

The atonement though, as suggested by the title, never happens. It exists in wanting and hoping, but not in actuality. I felt defeated after listening to this. Since listening to this though, I've read another Ian McEwan book, which left me with a similar feeling. He's an excellent writer, but the stories are a bit rough to handle.

Good Omens

2007-06-12T13:29:00.002-05:00

I finished reading this during a raging thunderstorm, while watching the Omen. It somehow seemed appropriate to read a hilarious story about the antiChrist while watching a rather stupid movie about the same subject.

After falling for the Sandman series, I'm trying to read the Neil Gaiman novels in order, so I started with this.

I thought it was funny. I enjoyed the bickering angel and demon. I loved the witch in the story. There were so many quotes about witches and angels that I wrote down from the book because I loved them. The bits about how "most books claim witches dance around naked, because most books about witches are written by men."

This is a very clever book. A very light hearted look at the powers of good and evil, the end of the world, and the influence of environment. The definitive take on nature versus nurture.

Stardust by Neil Gaiman (audio)

2007-06-12T13:28:00.002-05:00

I listened to this while driving to and from Austin. It made the drive, which is usually such a beat down, seem short.

I really like that the book is read by the author because no one understands the characters of a book better than the author.

This is considered a fairy tale for adults. A young man goes off in search of a fallen star in hopes of winning the hand of the woman he loves. But along the way he learns many things about life and love.

There are several different storylines. Tristan isn't the only person seeking the fallen star. In the end the different storylines all mingle together as the characters try to claim the star.

It's a nice story. I do recommend it, this audio version in particular.

I also highly recommend the movie version of this story that recently came out.

Finished listening: June 12, 2007

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

2007-06-11T05:00:00.001-05:00

Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses is one of my favorite books. I finished No Country for Old Men in one night because I could not stop reading it. Suffice it to say, I’m a fan of his writing.

Then Oprah selected this for her book club. It’s no secret that I’m a fan of Oprah, though not always of her show. (My husband cheated with my best friend – wtf? I mean, seriously.) Then I read an interview with Trent Reznor, I believe it was in Kerrang. They asked him how he was spending his downtime on the tour, being that he doesn’t drink and party anymore. He said he reads and the last book he read was The Road. (As if I don’t already adore Trent Reznor, do you have idea how much sexier he becomes simply by talking about books?) Either that same day or the next, The Road was given the Pulitzer Prize. Oprah, Trent, Pulitzer – this book had a lot of things working in its favor, along with the fact that I’m already a fan of McCarthy’s writing. I’d been on the waiting list for the book for a few weeks, probably since Oprah selected the book, but that afternoon, the day I found out it won the Pulitzer, I went and bought a copy.

I found it to be written in the same “I can’t put this down” manner. I wonder though if that’s partly because there aren’t any chapter breaks, never a real stopping point. The style is a sort of stream of conscious, flowing from one scene to the next. Of course, if I didn’t find the story interesting, I probably wouldn’t care if there were any official breaks.

By now, I guess most people know the basic premise of the story: a man and his son, walking along the road in a grey, ash covered world that has, for all intents and purposes, ended. They have a shopping cart and a few possessions. They are constantly seeking food and shelter in the remnants of the world.

The book is written in such a way that the reader is placed on the road with these two, experiencing their struggle as they walk towards uncertainty. Maybe that’s why I felt like I couldn’t stop reading this, I needed to keep going. Along the path, they encounter others who have been left behind, dying, starving, insane or marauding.

The father claims he has to keep moving for his son, he has to stay alive because as long as his son is alive, there must be a god.

There’s no explanation as to what happened in the world. I got the impression, from his descriptions of the first signs of trouble that a bomb hit. A catastrophe of some sort took place that destroyed the earth, blocked the sun and made even the oceans turn grey. Infrastructure collapsed and anarchy ensued. The survivors were left to fend for themselves.

The story is chilling, because I think of the incompetence of our government, their inability to mobilize in the event of disaster, the shambles of the current quagmire in the middle east and I realize that in case of disaster we would be very much on our own.

But the predominant thought that kept going through my head was “why would someone want to survive in these conditions?” I don’t have much of a survivalist instinct, at least not when it involves being only one of a handful of people left living in the world.

For example, I’ve never understood people who stock up on gas masks and tape for their windows in preparation for a biological disaster. If the whole world is going to fall apart, I would like to go with it. I have no desire to live in a world that’s been destroyed. Why would you want to be alive inside your house while everything around you went up in flames. Eventually you would have to leave the confines of your home and deal with the horror. I suspect I have different point of view because I don’t have a family. But I can’t imagine wanting my child to have that sort of life either. Why work so hard to keep the child alive when there is nothing left?

While I assume the intent is that this is a story of hope and love, I could never get past the idea that their struggle was one of profound false hope.

Still, it’s very well written. However, there are some truly gruesome scenes in this story. I supposed that is to be expected because, well, it is sort of a story about the end of the world. I was worried because I read most of this late at night while staying at my sister’s house and was concerned that it would give me nightmares. No nightmares, at least none that stayed with me. It does make you think though. A lot of, “what would I do?” No water, no electricity, no fuel, no government. I wouldn’t start walking with no destination in mind. I guess I’d just sit at home and hope the end came quickly.

Devil's Feather by Minette Walters

2007-06-04T13:27:00.001-05:00

Minette Walters is one of my favorite writers. I think she's written some of the best mysteries ever -- Ice House, Shape of Snakes, Dark Room. But I've not been crazy about her last few books -- Acid House and Fox Evil.

But Devil's Feather is a return to the style I liked so much in her older books. A suspenseful mystery, that integrates current social issues, interesting, likable, well-developed characters, in particular, strong, independent-minded female characters who don't suffer fools and have no trouble taking care of themselves, and a proper British setting.

In this particular story the main character is an international reporter who has covered war and conflict in several different locations. While attempting to investigate the similar murders of some women in different locations, she is abducted. After her release she goes into seclusion, claiming she's writing a story about what happened, when in fact she is trying to deal with the psychological damage inflicted on her while being captured, as well as remain hidden from the man who tortured her. He was a beast using war as a cover for his crime, knowing that the locals would be too occupied with the international conflict to notice the harm he was inflicting on women in the area. He attacked women he viewed as insignificant, and he didn't take kindly to a reporter catching on to his game.

I loved this book. Besides the well told story, this novel also emphasizes the need for women to be strong and willing to fight when necessary. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys an engrossing suspense story that includes some ass-kicking women.

Finished reading: June 3, 2007

Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton (audio)

2007-06-02T13:28:00.001-05:00

I honestly don't know if any woman in my life has had more influence on me than Hillary Rodham Clinton. I know that might sound extreme to some people, but for me, I spent the early years of my life desperately seeking a strong female role model. I was in high school during the first Clinton presidential campaign. I was disgusted by the fact that my friends now cared about nothing more than boys and makeup. I wanted something more and I needed to know that there were women in the world who did aspire to something more. And there was Hillary, and she was simply brilliant. I latched on to her and my feelings for her haven't faltered over the years. I'm not saying that she's perfect, it isn't a blind devotion, I'll acknowledge fault. She's human. But it is a sincere devotion. Because of her I realized there are strong, successful women, and because of her I became aware of the hatred most of this country feels for strong, successful women. Without a doubt, the main topic on my mind in the coming months will be her presidential campaign. Go, Hill, go!

But this is not a review of Hillary, but rather her book.

I bought it as soon as it came out, but then never got around to reading it. I decided to pick up the unabridged version at the library and listen to it during my daily commute for the last few weeks of my job.

I enjoyed the early parts, when she talks about her family and her college days. It's a side of her that isn't widely seen. You get a better understanding of her background and the basis of her beliefs. She's always been very involved and interested in the world. I also thoroughly enjoyed her description of meeting and falling in love with Bill Clinton. Again, this provides a solid foundation for why she made the choices she has made regarding their relationship. There's a part in the book when she describes how the people around her were shocked by her decision to marry him because she could do so much on her own, why would she choose to be this man's wife and move to Arkansas with him? She loved him, she loves him. She said when she met him they started a conversation and it has been going on ever since.

But once she gets to the part about Bill's political career and particularly his presidential career, I was bothered by the way the story becomes a strong defense for their every action. It made me sad, because I thought of how, in a way, her life, and in this case, her life story becomes nothing more than the act of defending her husband and often making excuses for his actions. (Here's the point where I should state that I am also a huge Bill Clinton fan, but still...) This is a woman who very much had to set aside her goals and aspirations for the dreams of her husband. During these portions of the story, I didn't feel like I was learning any new information. These were the same arguments that we heard when they were in office.

I did however like the stories about the work she did for international women's rights. I remember that time and how awesome it was that she was taking part in those trips and trying to make a difference.

Also, I began to get the impression that because she is still very, very much in the public eye, she can't provide a truly honest assessment of these events. She's still running for office. In many ways, parts of this book read as if they were excerpts from campaign literature.

It will be a long time before she's in a position to publish the honest story of what it was like to be the president's wife, especially a president such a Bill Clinton. She isn't in a position now to tell the full and accurate truth regarding her feelings and impressions. Maybe she'll be comfortable enough to share that story someday. And maybe when she does share that story, it will be accompanying her account of what it was like to be the first president of the United States.

Memory Keeper's Daughter (audio)

2007-05-12T13:30:00.001-05:00

I listened to this book while driving back and forth to work during the last week or so of my job. Mid-May of this year.

This was an interesting story. A doctor delivers his twins one winter night, when the roads are too icy for his wife's doctor to get to them. The first child, a boy, is fine. The second child has Downs Syndrome. He hands the baby to his nurse along with an address and tells her to drop the child off at that location. When his wife regains consciousness he tells her the second baby died, thus setting into motion a life full of lies.

The nurse gets to the place, described as a "home for the feeble minded." She's horrified by what she sees and decides to run away and raise the child as her own.

The book describes the lives of the two children over the years and their family environments. One child is raised in the ideal suburban setting, the other by a struggling single mother. But one child is surrounded by cold, distant parents - a father consumed with his guilt and a mother who never got over the death of her child - the other child surrounded by love and support.

The story is in some ways a reflection of the times. But more troublesome than being unwilling to raise a child with a disability is the way the father had no regard for his wife and chose to not even tell her of the existence of their child.

This is a story about a man who had no respect for his daughter or his wife. In the beginning, as he describes his wife, it becomes apparent that he regards her as nothing more than a pretty doll, never imagining that she might have feelings and ideas. He alone makes the decision to send their child away. Later in their marriage, he becomes angry and insecure when his wife decides to get a job and then starts her own travel company. He takes up photography, the manner in which he goes about this hobby is indicitive of his obsession with perfection and appearances. He has no interest in anyone's actual feelings. He just wants everything to look right. ... the evil that men do.

I found the parts of the story about the nurse raising Phoebe to be most interesting, because she becomes involved in education reform in a fight to get her "daughter" the kind of attention she needed. But at the same time, I was bothered by the awareness that the woman's devotion to the child originated from the unrequited love she felt for the doctor. (It's been a while since I read the story, so I don't remember any names.) She couldn't have him, she couldn't be the mother of his children, so she lived in a sort of pretend world, raising his child. It made the woman seem very pathetic, but in the end, she redeemed herself for her "crush".

I recently read a story in this month's issue of Vanity Fair about Arthur Miller having no relationship with his son who had Downs Syndrome. But after reading this story, even Miller doesn't seem as evil, because the mother of the child was allowed to have a relationship with her son. But the mother wanted to keep the child with her. And this again, shows that father doesn't always know best. This will be a better world when women stop submitting to their husbands' orders, and when husbands start respecting their wives opinions and decisions.

Paint it Black by Janet Fitch

2007-01-16T01:27:00.001-06:00

This book is thoroughly depressing, but so very well written that I quite willingly stepped into Fitch's carefully cultivated world of misery.

My primary goal in reading fiction is the element of escapism, and I judge the quality of writing by the ease into which I can slip into an existence other than my own. While iced in on a cold, rainy Saturday, I felt transported to LA, circa 1980, immersed in the decadent of punk rock / art scene.

Josie Tyrell came to LA with nothing but a desire to escape the tow yard in Bakersfield and her white trash family. While working as an art model, she met Michael, an art student and Harvard drop-out with famous, wealthy parents who wanted to live in the "true world". He wants to be part of Josie's world, one in which people take care of themselves, one in which he's not controlled by his parents and their history, he wants to be his own person for the first time in his life. Michael though, despite his desires, suffers from depression, more severe than he or Josie or his mother, Meredith, can understand.

One day he tells Josie he's going to his mother's house to paint and a few days later Josie receives a phone call informing her that he's been found dead in a hotel room, a gunshot to the head in an apparent suicide.

That's how the story begins. The rest of the novel is Josie's attempts to understand what happened, what went wrong, the signs she might have missed, a place to lay the blame. But instead she discovers more secrets and lies and confusion, and more questions than she will ever find answers.

Josie finds herself forming a bond with Michael's mother, the only other person who knew him. They cling to each other because no one else could possibly understand their shared pain. Josie is drawn into the world that destroyed Michael and is then faced with the decision to succumb or pull away.

Because of the superb writing, the characters in this story feel so real. Josie's memories of Michael's gradual slide into darkness, her fear and admiration of Meredith, and her struggle to continue a new life, one without the only person who ever made her feel real. Michael was the first person who didn't look at her as if she was trash, and yet, the more she learns about him, the more she begins to question what she believed was their love.

I suspect it could be the result of my own unstable mental state that I felt so connected to Josie. Not because I know anything about living in California or being an art model or having a boyfriend that committed suicide, but rather because I could relate to her determination to have something more, something better than her past told her she could have - even if that meant being left with nothing.

There's a scene near the end of the book when Josie's sitting in traffic wondering why she couldn't have been satisfied with something simple.

Pg. 345 - In an alternate universe, she would be going home from a day at the bank, the Auto Club, the State Farm office, thinking about her own kids and what she would make for dinner in her suburban kitchen in El Monte. Tuna casserole with potato chips crumbled on top. Her young husband picking them up at day care. What was so wrong about that? Something simple and basic, attainable. She wanted too much, that was her fault, not just Michael's love, but everything everything everything. Genius and wealth and culture, art and achievement...

I read that passage and immediately felt like I knew the character and understood everything she wanted. The burning a person feels when they escape a small town and yearn for something more, something so out of their reach. The easy way out is right there in front of you, but if you take that path, you know you'll never have a shot at what you really want. So you opt for nothingness rather than simple mediocrity.

Pg. 383: She liked the city, people close all around, crowds, the feel of something happening. Music, nightlife, being on the list, the girl everyone wanted to know – the possibility of more than dishes and diapers and the grocery store.

You hold onto that possibility as the world crumbles around you.

This is a story about people trying to pull away from that which controls them, without letting go, because they can't or they won't. This is about coming to terms with a past full of horror and degradation or allowing it to destroy you, actions and words that you can never take back, memories that you have to learn to live with, set them aside and move on. Most of all, this book is about trying desperately to find something beautiful in a world that is filled with ugliness. Josie didn't even know there was beauty in the world until she met Michael. But then Michael gave up his search, overwhelmed by the process, leaving Josie behind to continue looking on her own.

I really liked this book.

Twilight of the Superheroes by Deborah Eisenberg

2007-01-12T13:31:00.001-06:00

Sometimes, after reading a book like this, I wonder if maybe I'm just not as intelligent as I think I am. Maybe I'm simply too dense to "get it". I picked up this book because it was on several "best of" lists at the end of last year, and I liked the title – Twilight of the Superheroes.

The book is a collection of several unrelated short stories. Overall, I didn't feel like the stories had much substance.

When I read something, I want to be entertained or informed, surprised or amused, I want to be taken to a new place, a different world, or I want a connection with my current state of existence. I felt none of that with the stories in this book.

The stories never revealed much about the characters, they touched on the ideas of family and relationships and the breakdown of such. They all felt if they contained the potential for something more, but never quite got there. If anything, after I read the stories I felt like, "why did I just bother reading that if I wasn't going to learn anything more about these people?"

If someone else has read this and loved it, feel free to let me know what I missed, because I was fully expecting to like this and am disappointed that I didn't.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2007-01-01T03:41:00.001-06:00

Finally read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I have to admit I'm disappointed.

I bought the book the week it came out last summer. I started reading it and had to stop shortly into the novel because I was disturbed by the direction the character of Snape was taking. I love Snape. I've got a thing for bad boys, not so much bad, but misunderstood. The dark, mysterious loner, the inept social skills and the brilliant mind. Plus, Alan Rickman portrays that characters in the movies and I think he's so sexy and even more so when decked out in the Trent Reznor circa early 90s look.

A few pages in, things were not looking good for Snape and I stopped reading. A common trait about women who love bad guys, we prefer to stay in denial when others are trying to point out his bad traits.

Now though, with the announcements being released about the last book – title was revealed a few weeks ago – I felt like it was time to finally get that book read. I couldn't avoid it forever and it would be stupid to have read the first five books and then just stop.

Over Thanksgiving I bought a paperback copy of the book because I had quite a bit of traveling planned for the next few weeks (ie lots of time spent sitting in airports) and didn't want to lug around the hardbound copy of the book.

I managed to get through the 600+ pages in a few long sittings. Never once though did I feel like the story grabbed me, propelling me through the pages unable to put it down. It did however provide a nice escape while spending time in airport waiting areas. However, when not stuck somewhere waiting, it was something of an effort to pick up the book.

With each book, I find I like the character of Harry even less. That doesn't at all lessen my interest in the story, but it does diminish my emotional attachment to the main character. When I read stories about school situations, I tend to compare it to my own school experience and try to figure out which students would be part of which clique. Harry, the "chosen one" and star athlete would be the kind of student I would have avoided. I guess you could say I would have been more of the Neville and Luna type of student.

Well, if you've read the book, factoring in my feelings for Snape, you know exactly why I was upset by the ending. I wasn't that bothered at all by the part of the book that was supposed to be upsetting because I was too angry about what happened to Snape.

I didn't particularly enjoy reading this book, but I am at least anxious to read the final book, in hopes of some sort of satisfactory resolution.

The Mercy of Thin Air by Ronlyn Domingue

2006-11-30T19:05:00.001-06:00

The title is what drew me to this book. The cover featured the hazy image of the back of a young woman. The saying goes "don't judge a book by its cover" but in truth, a nice cover and an enticing title does quite a bit to make a book stand out among the many books on display at the bookstore.

In this case, the description of the story sounded as intriguing as the cover. Set in New Orleans, a woman, dead 70 years, exists in a realm of "in-between", seeks information about the man she once loved, while observing a newlywed couple struggle with the trials of the living.

I was hoping for something beautiful and tragic and dark. And it was, to some extent. But also, the story possessed a strong sense of practicality that I thought detracted a bit from the intensity it might have had otherwise. This wasn't quite the story of ghosts and lost lovers mired in voodoo that I'd hoped it would be. I liked this book, but I wanted to love this book.

There almost seemed to be too many storylines running through this book. We learn bits and pieces of different people's lives, past and present, enough to make me curious and interested, but not enough to make me care or connect to the people. It felt like maybe too much was attempted. I didn't feel like enough attention was paid to the ways in which the stories connected. The connection is somewhat surprising, but it felt rushed in the end. I felt like I didn't learn enough to fully understand what had happened or more so to really feel the effects of what happened. I had questions at the end -- and if anyone else has read this book or does read this book and would like to discuss, get in touch with me. Seriously.

I'd summarize this book as being about people who met the love of their lives -- their soul mate, the person who set them on fire, the one -- then lost that person. The story lies in how each person manages to move forward, knowing they will never feel love like that again, and in each instance settling for someone comfortable and safe. A practical love. The stories are presented in a way that assumes that this is what a person is supposed to do -- settle for someone you know you can never love as much as the person you lost. This idea bothered me immensely, because while I understand that this is the most logical choice, a person cannot build a life with a ghost, I also believe that in some situations a person would be better off alone with their memories than sharing their life with someone they don't passionately love. Why should Amy settle for Scott? Nothing about his character makes me think he was worthy of her love.

In life, we're forced to live in a logical and practical manner, but in my fiction, I want the characters to find a way to surpass those boundaries and refuse to settle.

Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld

2006-11-09T00:26:00.001-06:00

A more appropriate title would have been "Tales of a Prep School Nothing."

If judging a book by its cover, I would immediately steer clear of this book because of the obnoxious amount of pink on the cover. With its simple cloth pink and pale green belt, the cover shouts "girl book," "superficial book," "book about pointless female blathering." Had I judged this book by its cover, I would have been correct in my assessment.

I only read this because someone in our book club selected this book. Oddly enough, the book was selected by the only male in our book club. He said he was interested in the idea of prep school.

I hated this book. I tend to prefer stories with a bit of depth and meaning, both qualities this book was clearly lacking.

I found this book to be offensive on two levels. As a writer, I was offended that something so badly written was published. As a woman, I was insulted and infuriated by the portrait it painted of young females. Books like this perpetrate the myth that young women care about nothing except their appearance and boys. Shocking as this may sound, there are some women who having bigger, more important interests and goals and place getting laid fairly low on the priority list. Had I not known, I would have assumed this book had been written by a man because you don't expect a man to know any better, but it wasn't. Despite the name Curtis, the author is not male.

The story spans the four years the narrator, Lee, attends prep school. She's on a scholarship and the impression is given that she's going to provide some insight into what it is like to be a poor white girl surrounded by wealthy students with entitlement issues. Instead, the book is mostly about how Lee keeps to herself, never gets involved with anything, never really talks to people, doesn't care about academics, obsessing about what people think about her and has a big crush on a guy named Cross. We hear a lot about how she's unhappy and doesn't fit in, but she never makes any attempt to change her situation. She doesn't seem to have any interests or hobbies, knows nothing about music or current events. She truly is a "nothing".

I have a strong understanding of the "outsider," the kid who doesn't fit in with the "popular" crowd. But usually that student has some creative abilities, she/he is into music or art, or they excel in academics. Lee does none of these things. Something that I found baffling was the fact that she was on scholarship, but had very bad grades. I would assume that to keep a four-year scholarship a student would be required to meet certain requirements, but that never seems to be an issue. Also, if she was on scholarship, shouldn't she have at some point displayed some sort of academic inclination? At least with grades she could have created some niche for herself. She could have been the "smart" girl.

But, as I mentioned, she does develop a crush on a guy her freshman year. For the next three years she has absolutely no contact with him. Then one night for no reason at all, he walks into her room and climbs into her bed. As further proof of her "nothing" status, she allows him into her bed, without question. He then proceeds to fuck her on a fairly regular basis. They have no relationship at all outside of the bed. Lee seems honored that she's being used in such a way. She has no qualms about the fact that Cross acts like he doesn't even know her on campus. You realize later that the sex is nothing more than him making the most of his senior year. "He's really into being a senior," advises Lee's roommate, Martha. Later in the book, it is suggested that he's making his way into the beds of many of the female students, compiling a list with his roommate. Lee exhibits absolutely no self-respect. Without hesitation she gets down on her knees on the concrete floor of an empty classroom and delivers a blowjob when asked.

This story might have been able to redeem itself if the author had provided some element of contrition or regret in her reflections. The story is told as a remembrance of her past, from the viewpoint of an adult. But she seems to have learned nothing from her experience. I felt like even as an adult, she remained the "nothing" that she was in school. If anything, she still provides desperate hints that maybe, just maybe Cross did like her. She confronts him at the end of her senior year, not because she finally realizes that she's been used, but rather because she's upset that he quit showing up in her room for sex. At this point, he has a real girlfriend, someone he talks to and hangs out with in public view. She tells him that he made her feel bad about herself and she walks off, and she seems elated, even looking back on that moment because he called her name as she walked away. Even as an adult, she seems unable to accept the fact that he thought nothing of her.

Aspects like that make this book seem uncomfortably autobiographical. She never acknowledges how pathetic and stupid she behaved. She never seems to realize that she was used, that she repeatedly allowed herself to be used and was considered nothing more than a joke to Cross and his friends. I don't understand how someone could tell a story like this, why someone would imagine a story like this and be so blind to the story she was actually telling, unless she was merely relaying events from her own past.

I never figured out the point of this story. What was the author trying to say? What was there to be gained from reading this? What was I supposed to take away from Lee's experiences? Nothing especially insightful happened. Evidently even Lee gained nothing from her prep school experience.

The story was boring anecdote after boring anecdote. She had a teacher from the Midwest; she cut hair; she taught someone to ride a bike; she nearly failed her math class. A lot of little stories that lacked cohesiveness. Maybe if Lee had been a more interesting or observant person these tales might have been enjoyable, but instead I kept thinking, "Why? Why? You, stupid, stupid girl." The first three years were unbearably boring. I didn't find it interesting until the sex during her senior year and that was mostly for the train wreck effect. So gruesome I couldn't look away. Fittingly, it seemed to be the only thing Lee was truly interested in as well.

The writing was inconsistent and the characters were never fully developed. Sometimes the descriptions were brief, but for some reason anytime the author described a bathroom event she felt the need to be crudely accurate. Sometimes Lee was awkward and self-conscious, but then amazingly clever and funny when finding herself seated at the lunch table with the popular kids. Every once in a while, there would be a line or two of brilliance, like this:

"It was like being drunk, how you so rarely feel drunk enough to do the thing you want to, you still feel pinned back by your own sense of the rational or the proper, but the next day, hung over, you realize just how drunk you were. You had a window of opportunity. If you had used it, you probably would have embarrassed yourself, but in not using it, you wasted something irretrievable."

But lines like that were rapidly negated by pages of nothing. She lost her underwear and someone found it. Then she wanted a flower from Cross but didn't get one and her roommate did, and she sent him one and oh woe is me...

I admit it, I'm bitter. Why does crap like this get published when I know that my friends and even I can write better than this? The rest of us are toiling away at our soul-killing corporate jobs while someone who strings together this mess gets paid to write. Life is not fair.

Left Bank by Kate Muir

2006-10-06T17:28:00.001-05:00

I read a review praising this book and subsequently put my name on the list at the library. Well known Parisian couple – a philosopher and an actress – cope with the disappearance of their child. At least that's what I thought it was about. Oh, and the actress is from Texas. I usually love a good story about a Texas girl who gets her ass out of the country and does well for herself.

That was a very misleading review. The child's disappearance, though a catalyst to the main elements of the novel, isn't nearly as dramatic as one might imagine.

This is the story of a married couple, the husband very involved in being "French" (i.e. carrying on numerous affairs because he considered it to be his obligation as a French intellectual). He's trying desperately to be Sartre. WWJPSD he asks himself anytime he faces doubt. His wife, in his mind, and hers as well for a bit, is nothing more than a lovely trophy. But eventually his wife starts to see how false and shallow her marriage is by seeing how it affects her daughter and gradually she pulls away from her husband and starts to find herself ... and as I'm describing the book I'm realizing that it could have been a great story. But it gets so bogged down with the details. The endless descriptions of the husband's favorite cheese and the nanny's erect nipples under her thin blouse and wife's red shoes against the gravel. I just skimmed through the last of the book because I wanted to find out what happened. But I didn't care enough about the characters to ever really curl up with this book and dive in.

I wanted an escape to Paris, a glimpse into the life of the intelligent and the beautiful, but it read like any other bad marriage in which the husband thinks much more of himself and his desires than those of the people who he is supposed to care about. This could have been a story about a doctor and his socialite, model wife living here in Dallas. It could have taken place anywhere. Paris doesn't have a monopoly on self-absorbed men, women in denial or bad marriages. Don't waste your time with this book.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

2006-09-18T23:34:00.001-05:00

Read this book as our second book club selection. I loved this book. It's about a man who spent the first fourteen or so years of his life thinking he was female. But it's about so much more than that.

This book spans three generations of a Greek family that moves to Detroit from Turkey. Within the 500 or so pages of this novel, topics such as culture (the contrasts between the Greek culture and the American culture) and family and gender assumptions (what really makes a person male or female? Biology or psychology, nature versus nurture) and history such as the wars in Greece and Turkey as well as the history of the city of Detroit are all covered extensively. I found this book to be so interesting.

Our book club could have talked about this book forever. That's why I don't feel especially compelled to write much in this review.

I highly recommend this book though.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

2006-08-26T22:49:00.001-05:00

Two people at work read this book recently and eagerly proclaimed their love for it. It's been on my very long "reading" list for over a year, so I decided to check it out when I saw it on the shelf at the library the other day.

Initially I was put off by the premise of the book. I'm not a big fan of stories about children. Particularly stories about extremely clever children who think like adults. But I got over that fairly quickly and began to like the book quite a bit. I found the character of Oskar, with all his rambling thoughts and fears and inventions to be endearing. But as much I adored the passages about Oskar, I abhorred the storyline about the grandfather. It was so absurd, and stupid. I realize it was supposed to be quirky or surreal or something like that -- he can't speak because he's too sad, he gradually lost his words and now he carries around daybooks and writes all the time, he remembers a house made of walls of books, to look outside you removed books to create windows, cute, right? Groan. I felt like it clashed horribly with the story of Oskar.

Oskar's dad died in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11. After his death, Oskar found a key and then decided to try to find the lock that the key would open in hopes of learning more about his father. A significant part of the story is about Oskar's quest as he travels through New York and the five boroughs seeking the lock for this key.

Oskar's observations and contemplations provide some truly beautiful passages of loss and regret and fear. I think anyone, any age can relate to his loss of innocence and his desires.

And the passage that captivated me, the part I had to keep re-reading:

We need much bigger pockets, I thought as I lay in bed, counting off the seven minutes that it takes a normal person to fall asleep. We need enormous pockets, pockets big enough for our families, and our friends, and even the people who aren't on our lists, people we've never met but still want to protect. We need pockets for boroughs and for cities, a pocket that could hold the universe.

Eight minutes thirty-two seconds...

But I knew that there couldn't be pockets that enormous. In the end, everyone loses everyone. There was no invention to get around that...

It reminded me of how I feel every time I hear about some tragedy in the world and wish that I could have my friends all right next to me rather than wonder where they are at that moment. Suffice it to say, I loved parts of this book.

But then you have to go back to the daybook entries of his grandfather who abandoneded his grandmother before his father was even born. He's just so very sad and he left because he was scared to love anyone and didn't want to love the baby. But 40 years later, after learning the son he never wanted to know is dead, he returns, and he's so very sorry. Talk about too little way too late. I despised this character so much, I couldn't get past my distain for him. I suspect that's the sign of good writing if someone can conjure up such strong feelings. But I felt like that wasn't the intended response, instead I was supposed to feel sorry for him, because you know, he's just so sad and he'd lost so much. As I'm reading this though I'm thinking of all the people around him who have lost just as much, who are going on with their lives as best they can and I think he is a pathetic worthless man who doesn't deserve the forgiveness of the family he abandoned. He walked out on a pregnant wife because he never quite got over the death of a pregnant girlfriend and he felt completely justified in his actions, never bothering to consider what his actions would do to his wife -- his wife, who had lost her entire family in the same fire that took the life of his girlfriend. I have no sympathy for people so absorbed in their own pain that they treat those who depend on them so horribly. He returns wanting forgiveness, wanting to know all about the son he didn't want, wanting to become a part of his grandson's life.

Had that storyline been eliminated from this story, I would have liked this book much more than I did. To me it felt like two stories, and when the two storylines do interact, it doesn't seem to play a significant role in the story, point being, had it been left out, it would not have detracted from the main story.

Another thing that bothered me was the formatting of the book. I was annoyed by the blank pages or pages with one sentence. I was distracted by the pages covered with red ink and I didn't think the photos contributed much to the story.

Overall though, I'm glad I read the book.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

2006-08-18T23:45:00.001-05:00

I re-read Wuthering Heights recently. At work I learned that most people in the office had never read the book, so I suggested we start a book club and this be our first book.

As expected, it broke my heart again. I never know what to expect when I re-visit books from my past. When I re-read One Hundred Years of Solitude, I discovered I no longer loved the book. When I went back to Bell Jar, I discovered it meant more to me that it could have ever meant when I was a teenager. With Wuthering Heights though, I loved it just as much as I remembered loving it.

So much passion and desperation, and so much loss. I found myself hesitant to read it though, I kept stopping not wanting to go further because I knew that the situation would only get worse.

Now, almost fifteen years after the first reading, the story still resonates with me. Not because I've ever experienced anything anything like that, but rather because of my lack of passion in relationships. As a teenager I found myself longing for a feeling that intense, assuming it would be in my future. Now as an adult, I find myself facing that awareness that I'll never feel that. It's another sort of fear, my hope has become loss. What if you never find your soul mate? Do you settle for someone less or do you spend the rest of your life alone?

I've always joked that the book ruined me. Too often I find myself in boring, passionless situations which I then quickly end. I'm not happy in relationships because I'm waiting for my Heathcliff. Heathcliff, after all these years, remains as dark and intense as ever... always waiting for my Heathcliff...

my contribution for my book club:
http://prn-da-book-club.blogspot.com/2006/08/why-i-like-wuthering-heights.html

Digging to America by Anne Tyler

2006-07-03T23:11:00.001-05:00

Anne Tyler is one of my favorite writers. I enjoy the way she can tell stories about ordinary people and uncover the pieces of their lives that make them special and unique. It's the idea that everyone has a story and no one's life is as it seems from outside appearances.

This novel is about two very different families that adopt children from Korea. They meet at the airport on the day their babies arrive. Over time the two families become friends, realizing that they share something that not many others share.

I liked this book because it's about the idea of family, and mostly the idea of family being about the connections you make, and not necessarily the connects into which you are born. While initially this story is about adopting children, it expands into "adopting" brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and grandparents.

This book also is about struggling with ideas of perception, self-perception, as well as concerns about the way in which others view you. What am I supposed to be? Who do I want to be? I especially loved the character of MaryAnn -- the grandmother who moved to the U.S. from Iran as a young bride. She struggles with her ideas of how she should live. Her pride won't allow her to take steps to alleviate her loneliness because it would go against the image of herself that she is trying to preserve. Her ideas seem rooted in her culture, but upon reading it becomes apparant that most of these feelings transcend through cultures. In the end we're all much more alike than we realize.

This is a nice book that provides a glimpse of a world in which the idea of family does actually mean something more than unpleasant holidays and shouting matches.

Dispatches from the Edge by Anderson Cooper

2006-07-01T11:13:00.001-05:00

I heard about this book while watching an episode of Oprah. She had Anderson Cooper and his mother on as guests.

This is a fairly short book. A very quick read. Cooper provides small bits and pieces about his family life as well as his observations about news events he has covered. He tries to explain the connections between his need to travel around the world and witness tragedy and the tragedies that happened in his own family.

It's an interesting book. But it doesn't contain anything shocking or revealing. But if you want to know a bit more about Anderson Cooper, this is a place to start. It won't take up much of your time.

The Minotaur by Barbara Vine

2006-07-01T11:11:00.001-05:00

Barbara Vine is one of my favorite writers. I have about three modern writers that I'll read anything they write, Barbara Vine (who also writes as Ruth Rendell), is one of them, the other two being P.D. James and Minette Walters.

This book was not one of my favorites though. I enjoyed it well enough, but I didn't love it.

The story is told by someone who is reflecting back on an event in her life. She's telling a story about a situation that she observed, something that was happening around her, but something that did not directly involve her. She was hired as a nurse for a family to care for their adult son. During her stay, she learns many disturbing family secrets and witnesses many strange events, leading ultimately to a tragedy.

But the story doesn't leave much of a impact. I felt no urgency to finish the book. It didn't arouse any intense feelings, no anger or suspense or fear. It does paint an interesting portrait of rural English life, as do many of her books. I felt like there was too much distance between the narration and the action of the story. Readers were never allowed inside the heads of the people actually involved, so you're left to assumption and speculation along with the narrator.

If you're looking for a good suspense, thriller though, there are several others that I would recommend over this. Two of my favorite Barbara Vine books are No Night is Too Long and Dark-Adapted Eye. I highly recommend both of those. This one, though, not so much.

The Forgetting Room by Nick Bantock

2006-05-09T18:18:00.002-05:00

I read this book after I went to Spain. The events in this book take place in Ronda and feature a bridge which I saw on my trip.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, mostly because it's about painting. The Forgetting Room is the room where the narrator and his grandfather before him would enter to become absorbed in their art. Painting is used as a form of escape. I think anyone who paints can relate to the feeling. I forget sometimes how much I love painting, and after reading this book I was reminded of how much I love falling into a painting. It's never about the finished product, but rather the process of creating the work.

This is a nice book, complete with some beautiful illustrations.