Review: The Truths We Hold: An American Journey by Kamala Harris

The Truths We Hold: An American Journey by Kamala Harris
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am very much a political junkie, and so as soon as I saw this was available at the library, I requested it. I like what I know about Kamala Harris, but I don't know all that much, so, of course, I wanted to learn more.

I was a little worried this was going to read too much like campaign literature, but I actually found it very interesting and an enjoyable read - and I'm now an even bigger fan of Kamala Harris.

This book is a bit about her personal life, we learn some about her parents and her childhood and her education, but much more so about the work she'd done in her career as district attorney in San Francisco and Attorney General in California - and how her personal life has influenced the decisions she made at work.

Through her work, Harris has dealt, in-depth with topics such as crime, trafficking, immigration, the housing crisis, and health care. By reading this, I felt as if I gained a much stronger understanding of so many of these issues that are affecting the United States right now. Much more information that can be gained in tweets and soundbites on TV. She talks about how these issues affect the government, policy making, communities, and of course, individuals. One thing I liked most about the book is way it makes the political personal - we all hear, "this law does this and this" and in this book, it's explained in such a way to also show how these policies effect families, such as your neighbor who doesn't have a platform on the evening news.

Also, what I liked about this book is that while she does present issues that are having dire consequences on the U.S., she also presents ways to solve those problems. She has ideas, a vision. this isn't just complaining and pointing out what's going wrong. She backs up every problem with a way to fix it - and she's blunt about saying, this way may not work, but you won't know until you try - and nothing will change if you don't try to change it. As depressed as I often feel about the state of the world, this book provided a sense of hope.

I'm trying to make sure I write this as a book review, and not a review of Harris. So suffice it to say, I did enjoy the book. I think anyone interested in politics and wanting to learn more about what's happening in the United States would gain from reading this book, even if you don't consider yourself a Harris supporter. This book has a lot of good information in it. After reading this, I feel like I have a better understanding of what's happening with regard to immigration and the opioid crisis - both topics I hear about all the time but knew little about.

Also, since Harris announced her candidacy - there have been a lot of horrible things said about her on social media by people of both parties - and a lot of that is addressed - such as some of the laws she supported in California. It's easy to misinterpret things when you don't know the whole story. I felt better about supporting her after reading this.

This is a good book if you're interested in stories about people involved in politics, especially modern day politics - because Harris has been on the front lines for a lot of this. It's well-written, has a very thorough notes and index section - so if you're doubting any of this information, you can click on any of those links if you've got the e-version and read the full stories. I'm very glad I read the book - and I'm especially glad Harris is running for president - based on what I read in this book, she understand the law, knows how it works, and cares about the people she represents.




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Review: Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Issacson

Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I very much enjoyed this book. For years, I've had something of a crush on Leonardo - as weird as that sounds. I'm an artist and an art teacher, so yes, I'm a Leonardo fan girl. The more I learn about him, the more I like him.

While most of us are familiar with his greatest work and achievements, this book provides the stories behind that work, and all the work that didn't get finished or receive the kind of recognition of Mona Lisa or The Last Supper. What I like the most are the parts of the story that portray him as just a normal person - a very intelligent, talented, interesting person - but in a lot of ways, normal. He had friends, he had family, they had drama - he adored his friends and family, he fought with them, he stopped speaking to them, he reconciled with them - you know, just like normal people. He had ideas - some that worked out, some that didn't. He didn't accomplish everything he wanted to accomplish. Like all artists, he was always striving for more. I think this book does a great job of presenting him as a whole, complex person, not simply a genius.

Some of the less interesting parts for me, were when the story got very analytical about his sketches, in particular, the scientific and military based sketches. Important topics, of course, but listening to this, I would sometimes find my mind drifting during those parts. That probably wouldn't have happened as much if I had the book with the images with me. (A pdf is provided for the audiobook, and I downloaded it, but was never near a computer while listening.)

Overall though, I loved the book. Because I checked it out from the library, and there's a huge wait list (I think I've been on the list since October) I could only have it for seven days. So I was listening every chance I got, sometimes when I maybe wasn't able to pay as much attention as I wanted. As a result of that, I plan to buy a copy of the book soon. (I'd planned to buy a copy after Christmas, knowing I would be getting book store gift cards, but after Christmas, the cost of the book increased - so I decided to wait on the library copy - anyway, after listening to the book, I'm now going to go ahead and buy a copy.)

This is one of those books that makes me wish I knew other art people, so that they could read this and we could discuss this. Quite a few things in this book that I'd not known that I found fascinating.

I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in Leonardo or art history. Very enjoyable and interesting story.


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Review: My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem

This book is so good. Gloria Steinem is one of my heroes, and reading this was like being able to hang out with her and listen to her stories. That's what this book is, a collection of stories of her life experiences, focusing on travel.

As someone who travels, I was especially looking forward to this book. Her travels though are mostly within the U.S. - mine tend to be outside of the country. She writes about how going to new places, working with different people has taught her about life and influenced her work. She also shares stories about her work for women's rights, as well as some personal stories about her time with her friends.

I was sad when the book was over, I wanted to read more because I'd thoroughly enjoyed what I did read. Hoping Steinem has many more stories to tell.

Review: Rodin's Lover by Heather Webb

My first trip to Paris was a day trip from London.  I took an early train to Paris and then a late train back to London.  That first trip, it was pouring down rain, and I just saw the highlights - quick trip through the Louvre, Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe.  But on the tour bus back to the train station, I was listening to the commentary and the guide said on your left, you'll see Rodin's Museum and Gardens.  So I looked and what I saw was so beautiful.  A couple of years later, when I returned to Paris - this time for a week - one of my first visits was to the Musee Rodin to get a better look at what I'd glimpsed that rainy day on the bus.  Now, anytime someone asks for suggestions of places to visit in Paris, I mention this small, but beautiful museum and the surrounding gardens.

Inside the Museum, along with Rodin's work, is the work of Camille Claudel, one of Rodin's students as well as his lover.

I've always been curious about this woman.  Passionate, unconventional and mentally unstable according to most stories.  But I know enough about history to know that a lot of women deemed mentally unstable and women who simply refused to conform to the idea of how a proper woman should behave.  Any woman who wants do something different, who wants to be more than a wife and a mother is at risk of being considered crazy.  Then again, a lot of artists are to some extent tormented by some form of mental illness.

I was looking forward to reading this book, hoping to learn more about her and her work and who she really was.  I suppose I should have guessed by the title that this would mostly be about her connection to Rodin, but I'd hoped it would be more.

While the story starts out about Camille, and her desire to be an artist, the focus eventually shifts to Rodin.  But I felt the story was told in very general terms.  For a relationship that is believed to have been so passionate, their story is told here in a very boring manner.  I felt nothing for this couple.  There are a few sentences hinting at Camille's mental illness, and descriptions of her bursts of temper, but it didn't feel very convincing.

This story focuses too much on Rodin, trying to claim that he loved Camille as much as she loved him, and that it was voices in her head that caused her to be so on and off again with him.  He was a man twice her age, with a long-time live in lover (also the mother of his son) and a reputation for bedding many women.  I find it highly doubtful to assume that he viewed Camille as anything more than another lover.  Once he realized her talent, he had no problem "borrowing" her ideas and enlisting her assistance in his own work.  Okay, that's my opinion.  I felt like this story glossed over all of that, trying to claim that had some sweet love affair, and even though there are mentions of Rodin stealing Camille's work, it's played off as something Camille over-reacted about.

I didn't like this book very much.  I had to force myself to finish it.  I don't feel as though I learned anything in this book that I'd not already learned from reading the placards at the Rodin Museum.  There are no details.  This being a novelization, I'd hope the author could at least make some details up.  But the story felt vague:  They saw each other, they wanted each other, they worked on their sculptures.  Camille heard a voice, she got very angry.  Rodin went back to his lover, but thought of Camille all the time.  

Even more disturbing though is the way this book tries to claim Camille's abortion was her mental breaking point.  If anything, the abortion was what saved her.  It was what prompted her to end her sexual relationship with Rodin, and what caused her to focus on her work and separate herself from Rodin.  She finally realized she didn't want to be tied to Rodin and certainly didn't want to be burdened with his child.  After splitting from Rodin, she actually did become somewhat successful and made a point of doing work that was very different from Rodin so she wouldn't simply be considered his talented student, but rather an artist in her own right.  It was years later that her family began to suspect she was mentally ill and had her committed.  The idea that she considered the abortion so devastating seems cliche to me and doesn't at all fit with what she wanted in her life.  She didn't want a husband and children, she easily could have had that, but she wanted to be a respected artist - she wanted to be more than Rodin's lover.  

I read this book hoping to learn more about Camille Claudel and Rodin, or at least find a passionate fictionalized version of their relationship.  This book wasn't very interesting or passionate
and I didn't learn anything new.

I received a review copy via NetGalley.

Review: Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Anne Fowler

I finished reading Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald in the early morning hours before I went to sleep.  when I woke a few hours later, I felt a heavy sadness because I realized the book was over and I would no longer be in Zelda's world and also, sadness because her life had turned out to be so miserable. Even though I knew the outcome, as I read the book, I kept hoping things would somehow get better, that someday she'd have the life she wanted. But as we all know, that didn't happen. 

Being a feminist, I've always been very much Team Zelda.  My fascination with Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald began when I was in high school.  After reading and loving The Great Gatsby, I  read Tender is the Night, which is presumably largely autobiographical.  When I read it the first time, it seemed like a beautiful, but tragic love story.  When I read it again, as an adult, after having learned more about life in general, and in particular, the actual lives of Zelda and Scott, it seemed merely tragic.  Dick Diver was cruel to his wife, Nicole.  I despised the character as well as Scott, thinking how absurd he was to think he was writing a sympathetic character when in fact he was confessing to the horrible way he'd treated his wife and their marriage. 
I liked the way this book was written. As the title states, it's a novel, not an biography. The writer has taken liberties to create events as they may have happened, based on her research.  I thought it worked well. The Zelda of this novel sounds and behaves very much the way I have always imagined Zelda to be. 

This book does a great job of drawing us into the world of the Fitzgeralds - the success and the failures, the parties and the fights, but most of all the unrequited desire both Scott and Zelda felt to have something more. They were never satisfied with life, they always wanted something other than what they had - more love, more money, more acclaim, more friends, more booze. Scott wanted a beautiful, independent-minded wife, only to resent her independence and desire to establish a career of her own.  Zelda wanted a successful husband to take her away from her life in Alabama, only to resent being known as nothing more than the wife of a famous man.

The strongest theme of the book though is Zelda's struggle to create her own life, something independent of her husband. She wanted to be a dancer, a painter, a writer, something other than Mrs. F. Scott Fitzgerald. Every time she tried, every time she always succeeded, something got in the way - her husband or her health.  She admired feminists and other women who lived their own lives, but she was never brave enough to try and do as they'd done. 

By telling this story in Zelda's words, readers are able to feel as if they are directly involved in this world, they see the glamour, as well as experience the emptiness of that glamour.  It was never quite as fabulous as it seemed.  To the rest of the world, they were the "golden couple" and they worked at maintaining that facade, even as they fell apart at home.  While other marriages ended, they struggled to keep theirs intact because despite in all, they always believed they loved each other.  By hearing these stories told by Zelda, readers have a better understanding as to what they went through - true or not - and no one will ever know exactly what happened between the - it provides an interesting story.

I enjoyed reading this book and would recommend it to anyone who has any interest in Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald and would like to learn more about Zelda's story.

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch by Alison Argrim

I selected this book one day because I needed something to read while laying outside and soaking up some sun. I have a stack of books at home, but wanted something on the Kindle.  So that morning, I searched the library's selections and picked this memoir written by Alison Argrim, who played the part of Nellie Olseson on Little House on the Prairie.

Something you may not know about me - every day after school, I watch Little House on the Prairie.  It's because at night, I watch Golden Girls on Hallmark, and when I come home, I don't bother to change the channel.  Sometimes I sit through hours of it.  Strange, I know, but it isn't like there is anything else worth watching on at that time.  Really, I don't care enough to check for something else to watch, I just turn on the TV for the noise.

I found this book to be very interesting.  I was only going to read for an hour or two, but read until the sun moved past my lounge chair, then I went inside, laid down on the couch and read until I finsihed the book.

I enjoyed reading about what happened behind the scenes at a show I've watched my whole life.  Alison endured some truly horrible childhood experiences.  Now she devotes her time to helping children who have had similar experiences.  She's a very brave, strong person.  I enjoyed reading about her.  I recommend this book to anyone who has any interest in Little House on the Prairie. 

Composed: A Memoir by Rosanne Cash

A teacher at school noticed me reading this book during a break and said, "Oh, I love Johnny Cash.  Is that book any good?"

"It's very good, " I said.  That's all I said, because I needed to get back to my classroom and didn't feel like explaining that this was a book by Rosanne Cash, about Rosanne Cash.  If she wanted a story about Johnny Cash, there are probably plenty out there, but this isn't one of them.  And besides all that, it wasn't like I was going to let her borrow this book, she's had my copy of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo since October, so I'm certainly not letting her have any more of my books.

If someone is wanting a book full of dark family secrets and confessions, this is probably not the book for you.  I'm sure that Rosanne Cash could have written something like that, if she'd chosen.  I'm going to guess she has plenty of stories she could tell, and it would be within her right, because those stories are a part of her life.  But instead she remains on a higher ground, showing respect for her family and choosing to keep their worst moments private.

While she hints at the pain caused by divorce and the addictions that haunted members of her family, she leaves out the details.  Instead of a sordid celebrity tell-all, this book is instead a series of essays about her reflections on the events of her life.  She writes less about the actual events and more about the way these events have affected her thoughts and her actions.  She writes about how she's approached life's milestones - living on her own for the first time, establishing her career as a musician and a writer, falling in love, becoming a wife and a mother, falling in love again, becoming a mother to a son, losing parents and other loved ones, and learning to forgive.  She writes beautifully about these events and the way that she turned to art and music and examined her own ideas and beliefs and paid attention to her dreams. 

After reading about how she listened to Miles Davis while painting, I started playing Kind of Blue for my students while they worked. 

I've always been a fan of her music, which is why my sister gave me a copy of this book for Christmas.  But after reading this book, I've gained a new respect for her.  Shortly after reading this book -- I was able to see her perform in Fort Worth at the Main Street Arts Festival.  (And if you don't already follow her on twitter, I very much recommend you do, she's funny and smart.)

2010 favorites and my list for 2011

I would like to make a top ten list for this past year, but I only read twenty books this year, well, actually twenty-one books.  So a top ten list would be kind of silly. 

My favorite books of the past year are the Millennium Series -- Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire and Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.  Loved those books.  At the beginning of the school year, I let someone borrow my copy of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and haven't seen it since, no mention of it, so not even sure if the person is reading it or not.  But I decided to use that as my excuse to purchase the deluxe box set of the series. 

I also really liked The Invisible Bridge.  I thought that book was kind of amazing.  Now I'm even thinking of visiting Budapest this summer.

So those are my top four books.  Now I can start working on my reading list for next year.

I joined an online book club that has a reading challenge -- twelve books that have to be books that have been on our reading list for at least year, plus two alternates. 

Right now this is my list:

1. Witching Hour by Anne Rice (I've wanted to read this for years, I read the vampire books, but never this one.  I think I've been waiting for the right time to read it, a long break and a dark mood.)


2. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby  (I've liked everything he's written and have had a copy of this sitting by my bed for a couple of years.  I enjoyed the movie quite a bit.)

3. Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Woman who Created Her  (another book I've had for years but have never gotten around to reading)
 
4. Water for Elephants (I want to read this before the movie comes out!)

5. Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood (I started to read this last year, but knowing that it would be dark, I didn't feel I could handle it.  But it's something I must read, I read everything by Atwood.)

6. Persuasion by Jane Austen (I need to read something by Austen, and this was the book mentioned in Lake House.  I bought a very nice copy of this at Barnes and Noble a while back, but have never gotten around to reading it.)

7. Hitchhiker’s Guide the Galaxy (another one that has been on the reading list for years)

8. The Lacuna by Barbara Kingslover (Last year, I bought this for my mother because she's a big Barbara Kingslover fan, I planned to give it to her for Christmas, but when I saw that the book was about Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, I decided I would try to read it before giving it to my mother.  A year later, still sitting by the bed.)

9. Schulz and Peanuts: A biography (another one I received as soon as the book was published and have yet to read it.)

10. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (this is the Oprah influence here -- I've already read Tale of Two Cities)

11. Private Patient by PD James (PD James is one of my favorite authors, not sure why I've not read this yet.  I'm sure I bought it as soon as it was released.  But I always try to wait until I know I'll have a lot of time to read, hers are not books that work well with only a few pages a day.)

12. Fried Green Tomatoes (Loved this movie and have wanted to read the book for years)

Alternates
13. Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy  (I read Tess when I was a teenager and I would like to read it again as an adult.)
14. On The Road by Jack Kerouac  (Everyone should read this at some point in her life, right?)

Other books I wanted to include on the list - Mists of Avalon, A Town Like Alice, and David Copperfield. 

Something about which I am very embarrassed is that I've only read one book by Dickens (Tale of Two Cities) and have never read anything by Jane Austen.  I recently tried reading Pride and Prejudice, but maybe I just wasn't in the right mood.  It was taking me forever and there was a hold on it at the library, so I had to return it before I could finish it.  I've since downloaded it to my Kindle, for free, but haven't felt any strong desire to continue reading it.  I added Persuasion to the list because it's mentioned so much in one of my favorite movies -- The Lake House. 

I got a Kindle for my birthday, but I still have an issue with paying for digital books.  Really difficult to pay for a digital file when I know I can get the books for free at the library.  However, I've downloaded lots and lots of free classics.  I'm hoping this will encourage me to get back to reading the classics. 

And there are several books released within the last year that I hope to read soon.  (We couldn't include books from the past year on our reading challenge list.)  The book I'm most looking forward to reading is Keith Richards' biography and I'm hoping to read Fannie Flagg's I Still Dream About You before I return to school next week.

Innocent Traitor by Alison Weir

My interest in Jane Grey was sparked by a painting I saw at the National Gallery in London.  She was queen for nine days and eventually beheaded for being queen.  Also, I really love the name, "Jane Grey" but that's probably because it makes me think of Jean Grey, one of my favorite X-Men.

In the bookstore of the National Gallery, there were several books and videos about the painting and about Jane Grey.  I bought a DVD, and considered buying a book, but couldn't decide which one I wanted.  There were several by Weir.

When I returned home from my trip, I looked up the author at the library.  She's a historian and has written quite a few non-fiction books, but this was her first novelization.  Seemed like a good place to start reading about the Tudors.

I found the story interesting.  But I found the style a bit odd.  It's written in first person, but every few pages, the narrator changes.  Seems like there could have been a better way to tell the story.  I guess I find it especially bothersome because so much effort is put into trying to figure out what is going on in the minds of each of these people.  I realize it's historical fiction, and a novel, not factual, but it does involve events that really happened.  In the beginning Jane's mother despises her and in the end she's distraught over what happens to her.  Then we have Jane's husband who rapes her in the beginning of the marriage and is extremely cruel to her, but later adores her and misses her so much he carves her name in the wall.  None of that made sense to me.

The story is about Jane, who has very ambitious parents.  When they fail to get her married to the king, they make arrangements to involve her in a plot that will eventually make her queen.  Jane is, as the title indicates, innocent in all of this.  She doesn't want to be queen, she doesn't want to be married, she just wants to be left alone with her books.  That's what makes this so tragic.  She was punished for things that were entirely beyond her control.

What I most get out of books about this time period is the horror and destruction caused by people's beliefs in God.  This all takes place around the time of the Protestant uprising.  People are executed for having Protestant beliefs, and then another king is in place and suddenly people are punished for being Catholic.  Jane was very much part of the Protestant movement.  According to this book, she held her beliefs so strongly that even in the end when she was told she could live if she would convert to Catholicism and she wouldn't.  That seems absurd, because it isn't as if the two religions are that different.  Same God, same Bible, same characters in the book, just different ways of worship.  She was sixteen and willing to die for a fairly new form of a religion rather than go back to the form that had been around for centuries?  I'm not saying that Catholics are the one true way, but still.  That's extreme.
   
More than anything though, it makes me very glad I don't participate in any sort of organized religion.  Knowing the bloodshed these religions, all of them, have, it makes it very difficult for me to view them as organizations with which I would want to affiliate myself.  They were really just businesses, all about power and control.  Whoever was in power had no issues with crushing those who were not in power.  It's all very disturbing.  Very harsh times.

Back to the book though, I liked it enough that I plan to read more books by Weir.  I've already checked out Lady Elizabeth.  I did feel that reading the book taught me a lot about the time period that I didn't know, and I find this an easier way to learn than from a history book, even if the novel isn't completely accurate.  As far as we know, the history books aren't any more accurate.

Summer at Tiffany by Marjorie Hart

I very much enjoyed this story of a woman's memorable summer in New York City, working at Tiffany.

The year is 1945, the country is at war and her family is horrified over the idea of her going off to the big city to have fun.  The impression is given that up until this point in her life, Marjorie has always been very sensible.  She attends college in Iowa, close to home.  She practices the cello and when her mother had surgery, she took a semester off to help around the house.  She never would have considered going to New York City, until she learns that some of her sorority sisters have gone to the City and easily found jobs and her roommate convinces her that they should do the same thing. 

The save up glass bottles to try to earn enough money for their train ticket, convinced that once they get to the City, they'll quickly find jobs and make lots of money.  They're going to go lots of Broadways shows and shop at fancy department stores and go to the beach.

Finding a job isn't as easy as they were led to believe.  Their first few days are spent standing in long lines with other young women in the employment offices, filling out applications and often being told there are no more openings.  Then they see Tiffany & Co. on Fifth Avenue.  Tiffany doesn't even have an employment office.  But they talk their way into a job as pages on the sales floor.  They're only making twenty dollars a week, and know they can't afford to live off that, but they can't turn down a job at Tiffany!

They don't let their meager salary keep them from enjoying the city, hoping for a glimpse of Wallis Simpson, and marveling over the laughter of Judy Garland, and trembling at the sight of a gangster who needs his watch repaired.  They date midshipmen and celebrate the end of the war in Times Square. 

I loved the innocence of the story, a glimpse of a different New York City, a time when people carried themselves with a bit more dignity.  It's a time when men and women went on dates and got to know each other rather than today when everyone is simply expected to "hook up" and "put out" moments after making eye contact.  It's the kind of New York I yearn for every time I wander around the city.  I enjoyed seeing New York City through the eyes of someone living in the City for the first time -- that first sighting of the Empire State Building, the shops on Fifth Avenue, dinner at the Stork Club. There were several amusing moments when she tried to order a drink or dessert, always wanting to sound as if she belonged and not like a wide-eyed girl from Iowa. 

I've been told that I'm an old soul.  I love Sinatra and black and white movie and stories about a time that I can only imagine.  Also, I love New York City, so this book was perfect for me.  It's a quick read and provided a nice, enjoyable escape from the holiday blahs. 

Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx

Nikki Sixx was one of my first loves. Oh my god, Nikki Sixx. Say his name and even now, I feel a twinge and if you knew how thoroughly frigid I am, you'd know what a feat that is. Hmmm, Nikki, darling Nikki, the ignitor of so many fiery young fantasies.

I was such a repulsively boring good girl during the teenage years, not because I was sincerely good, but rather because I was profoundly bored with what was available to me in the desert wasteland of west Texas. While my empty-headed, desperate female classmates spent their free time necking with dusty, tobacco chewing shit kickers, I sat alone in my room, escaping into a pencil drawing, a thick book, old movie or dreams of Nikki Sixx.

Mind you. I said Nikki was one of my firsts... Jon Bon Jovi was my absolute first and my teenage bedroom reflected my devotion to my first, the walls covered in Jon, Jon, Jon. But Jon is all things good and pure. Part of the adoration of Jon is the fact that he married his high school sweetheart and because I placed him so high up a pedestal, he was elevated to god-like status and well, you get the idea. Nikki, though, he was the opposite of good and pure and the object of a whole different sort of adoration. I hung a huge poster of Nikki Sixx inside my closet door, hidden from the casual eyes, it was from the Dr. Feelgood era, he was wearing a pair of unzipped leather pants, shirtless, exposing his pierced nipples and tattoo-covered chest and arms. His hair was aqua-netted to hell, long and black and sticking out in every direction and he had twisted snarl on his face. Oh, Nikki... I was certain that only a man like Nikki could succeed in melting this ice queen... I'm not so sure I was wrong in that assumption.

But anyway...

Now that I've revealed my past history with Nikki, it only makes sense that I'm going to find a way to get my hands on anything by or about Nikki... even now that I've reluctantly accepted the role of frumpy, spinster school teacher.

The Heroin Diaries looks gorgeous. Fans have been hearing about this book for years, wondering if it would ever be released. It looks as if a lot of time was put into this tome. Each page is illustrated, it includes new art, as well as old photographs, all in a collaged, scrapbook-on-crack sort of way, in an impressive red, black and white color scheme. On looks alone, it stands ahead of most rock biographies.

The premise of the book is that Nikki found some old journals, written during an especially bad year (1987) of his drug addiction, and has decided to make those public to provide a cautionary tale and show the sort of damage and horror that accompanies heroin addiction.

The story is interesting enough, quite disturbing actually, as he details the paranoia and the drug deals, the damage and the depression that accompanies loving drugs more than anything else. Throughout the book, quotes from bystanders in the experience are included, as a way to confirm or at times contradict Nikki's writing. I don't doubt the truth of his stories, though I am suspicious of the accuracy of his writing. He seems too aware of his downward spiral. He knows when he's being paranoid and he knows when he's being excessive. If you were that aware, would you continue down that path? I don't know. That being said, I know that I could glance through some of my old journals and read my own writing in which I elaborated on being lazy and stuck in a dead-end job and paranoid and very aware of my own dire circumstances and doing absolutely nothing to change the situation, content to merely record the misery. So I'm not exactly an authority on this.

However, as a cautionary tale, I don't think the story is successful. It's an interesting read for a fan who is interested in the life of Nikki Sixx. But there is nothing in this story that will warn an impressionable young, potential drug user away from these substances. For the average, sane minded, person, then yes, it's a horrifying picture of what drugs can do. But for the type of person most likely to get involved with this junk... not so much. I say this based on my experience around teenagers. For the most part, they aren't especially wise, and I can see them devouring the book and saying, "oh my god, Nikki's so awesome, he did drugs all night and banged fifteen women, he crashed his motorcycle and walked home. He pulled a gun on his drug dealer and torn down the blinds. He went to Hong Kong and he made an ass of himself on the train, isn't that hilarious? I wanna be just like Nikki."

I hear the kids sitting around whispering and laughing about their own drunken exploits or how someone jumped out of the window on acid or was naked in the front yard, etc. You get the idea. They aren't scared of much and think they can survive anything.

And the reason this really doesn't work as a cautionary tale is because Nikki survived. He hit rock bottom, he stayed away from drugs for a while, but then he went back to them. (At the end of the story, he provides a timeline explaining his ups and downs with his career and drug use following the year described in the book.) These experiences didn't even serve as a cautionary tale for him. Nikki lived this excessive, decadent life, and he lived to tell about it and now he's successful and he has a family and he's still making great music and he's pursuing other career venues. He didn't end up dead or broke or alone or living in a cardboard box on the street. He's doing great, which stands as a testament to his talent and his strength -- something a lot of people don't have. I'm glad he's doing well because, well, I mentioned my adoration for him earlier in this post. But I don't see how his experiences serve as a caution for others tempted to follow that path. If anything, I feel like that decadent lifestyle is glamorized to some extent. Yes, he was battling drugs, but he was still living a life most people only dream about -- drugs, sex and rock and roll.

One issue I had though was the many quotes about how Vince Neil is a jerk. After a while, I was like, "Okay, we get it, no one likes Vince, you made the point." And the repeated mentions of "poor" Mick Mars' illness. They went into this quite a bit in Dirt and I didn't really care then either. Most readers of Heroin Diaries probably read Dirt, so why bring that all up again?

Also, I could have done without the pictures of the naked girls -- including those sort of added to the "glamorous" aspect -- he's trying to describe how bad life was on drugs, but then he's showing pictures of the naked chicks he banged? And what part of that was considered bad?
He talks about ending up with stupid women, but what did he expect, picking up strippers and drug users and women so willing to have sex within minutes of meeting him? Nice, smart girls don't behave that way. He does at one point make a comment about ending up with garbage when you pick through the trash. Still... including those photos sort of detracted from the supposed message he was trying to present.

I recommend this book to all Motley Crue or Nikki Sixx fans, anyone interested in rock bios or the metal music of the late 80s, mid-90s, or the L.A. glam/punk scene of that time period. I enjoyed the read. I picked it up at 3 a.m. one night and didn't put it down until I finished it around 8 a.m. And after reading it, I love Nikki just as much as I ever did, and that's quite a bit...

Dispatches from the Edge by Anderson Cooper

I heard about this book while watching an episode of Oprah. She had Anderson Cooper and his mother on as guests.

This is a fairly short book. A very quick read. Cooper provides small bits and pieces about his family life as well as his observations about news events he has covered. He tries to explain the connections between his need to travel around the world and witness tragedy and the tragedies that happened in his own family.

It's an interesting book. But it doesn't contain anything shocking or revealing. But if you want to know a bit more about Anderson Cooper, this is a place to start. It won't take up much of your time.

Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Magical Thinking, as used in the title of this book, is the idea that your internal thoughts have some sort of control on the outside world. In this case, it was Didion believing that she had to keep her husband’s shoes because he would need them when he came back, after dying at the dinner table of a heart attack.

This book, as most people know, is about the year after Didion’s husband’s death. It is very much about the difficulty of suddenly and unexpectedly losing someone who has always been there. Everything was fine one moment and the next it was over.

Didion does an excellent job of describing the suddenness and the extreme feeling of loss. This is very well written. When I started reading this, I had difficulty putting it down because as absurd as this sounds, I felt as if I was leaving her alone if I stopped reading. And her experience was so awful, I didn’t want to leave her alone. Yet that is what this book is about, being alone for the first time in 40 years.

She describes her marriage as different from the typical marriage. She and her husband were friends and co-workers and they talked to each other in ways that families do not seem to communicate. Maybe this is the trick to being married for so long – not adhering to the stupid ideas society present about marriage – wife stays home and keeps house, husband goes off to the office. Didion and her husband seemed to have a collaboration that worked very well for them. They traveled to places all over the world and they sat down at home and “planned.”
On top of the loss of her husband, the year after his death, she is also dealing with the illness of her daughter, who I believe died after this book was published. This is a sad book, but also, I feel like it is a valuable book. The book provides insight to the process of grief and mourning. It also presents a story of what must have been a happy marriage and loving family, and because of that, I enjoyed reading this.

Made in Detroit by Paul Clemens

This book got great reviews. I was under the impression that this was a book about Detroit, and thought it might be interesting.

But I didn't like this book at all. Not one bit. I felt angry reading it. It was a short book, but took me forever to read and I found myself bitching about it to anyone who made the mistake of asking what I was reading. Several people were like, "just stop reading it if you hate it so much."

It was this long, rambling whine about how difficult it was to be a white boy attending private school in a city where whites were the minority. It felt like he just wrote and wrote trying to justify his racist views. He said his girlfriend was raped by a "black" man and therefore he felt justified in being angry that his sister was dating a "black" man. It made no sense to me. Maybe that's because I'm not "white" or a member or any one race, and therefore have never understood how people can justify their racist ideas.

All this time I believed that racism was a southern thing and that people "up north" were more intelligent with regard to race relations. This book proved me wrong. If anything, I learned that from this book.

Some reviews have described the work as "stream of consciousness." But it just seemed like a lack of editing and no real focus to me. I guess what angered me most was the idea that this kind of writing is being published. I didn't find it at all interesting. Nothing especially exciting happened in this person's life. I didn't understand what the actual story was. The author seems to have some real issues he needs to deal with.

Mostly though, I didn't feel like I learned anything about the city of Detroit or the people of Detroit. I don't feel like the author, someone who attended a private school and moved away for college, served as a true representation of a citizen of Detroit. Again, this is just my limited opinion. I really wish I'd not read this book. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

From Pieces to Weight: Once Upon a Time in Southside Queens by 50 Cent

I’m a big 50 Cent fan. I know, I know, very irresponsible of me. I’m supposed to be this hardcore militant feminist, but I listen to rap music. Shame on me. I’m also old enough to know that just because I like listening to someone sing about doing drugs or shooting people doesn’t mean I have to go out and do those things. For the record, I listened to some fairly unsavory stuff when I was a teenager too, and I didn’t turn into a promiscuous, drug user. So I’m thinking if kids are so weak minded that they do everything they hear about they had problems long before they listened to “bad” music.

Anyway, point being I like 50 Cent’s music quite a bit. Don’t know much else about him, so I was eager to read this autobiography. For the most part, this is an interesting book.

I realize that he probably had someone else write it, he tells his story, someone else crafts it into readable form maybe. I also know that famous people don’t always tell the truth. (Big secret here – non-famous people also tell lies.)

Basically this book is about 50’s drug dealing. He’s pretty detailed about the dealing. Preparing the product, marketing the product, the various means of working a corner. At first it was intriguing, after a while it became a bit repetitive. Not being all that versed in the drug world, some of it was a bit over my head. Also, being that some of the information is so detailed and delivered in such a matter of fact, non apologetic way, I began to feel a little dirty reading this – and not the good kind of dirty, it was as if by reading about this I was somehow agreeing that it was okay that he was selling drugs. It’s not, 50, drug dealing is bad.

50 seems like a smart, clever guy. Like I said, I don’t know if some of those statements are from him or he had a good writer, who is credited (I believe his name is Kris Ex, or Kris X). But, just so you know, it isn’t like 50 is claiming he wrote this all by himself.

A few things bothered me though, such as the suggestion that he had no option other than to deal drugs because he couldn’t ask his grandmother for money. It isn’t like he needed this money to survive. I got the impression that his grandparents provided him with a decent home and put food on the table. He wasn’t lacking in essentials. He dealt drugs so that he could own 9 pairs of $100 sneakers and wear super expensive clothes and jewelry and have a dirt bike and some kind of fancy motorcycle. As a teenager he was driving SUVs that he paid for in cash, but had to park around the corner so his grandmother wouldn’t find out. I guess dealing is the easy way to get this stuff, but it isn’t necessary stuff, it is, in fact, quite excessive stuff. Stuff that a lot of us are never going to own, at least not through legal means, unless we want to drown in debt, and there are plenty of people okay with doing that. Seems to be a values issue more than a poverty issue.

Also, he refers to a girlfriend of his as a ho because she sleeps with someone else. But a paragraph before that, he admits that he was seeing other people on the side. So technically, wouldn’t that make him a ho also? Okay for him to mess around, but not his girl? Then there is the bit where he’s so annoyed about being sent to a drug rehab facility and keeps saying, “I don’t use drugs, I sell them.” Um, dude, maybe you should keep that info to yourself because wouldn’t the punishment for dealing be worse than using? Should be, if it isn’t. And while he’s ticked off about getting caught, he does seem to acknowledge that what goes around comes around. He knows he broke the law and I think he knows that he got away with quite a bit and got off fairly easy.

And the other thing that upset me -- again, this would have to do with his relationships with women. He’s always buying his girlfriends stuff – expensive stuff and letting them drive his expensive cars. As a woman, I’m going to say right now, if you have to buy a woman something to keep her happy, then she’s really no better than a prostitute. Women like that give the rest of us a bad name. He mentions one woman who he seems to have some respect for, probably because she eventually becomes the mother of his first son. When he meets her she’s working, going to school, acting like she intends to support herself and you get the impression that he’s attracted to her independence. But then he mentions that things are good between them when he’s got money and not so much when the money is running low. He seems to accept this and feels like things would have worked out if only he’d had the money to keep things going. I am no expert on relationships, but if she lost interest because the money was running out, then you’re better off without her. You shouldn’t have to pay to keep a relationship healthy – that’s not healthy. But what do I know about this stuff? I don’t let people buy me stuff, and I’m also what you might call chronically single. Maybe guys like paying for women… maybe this is why I don't like guys.

Overall, it was interesting read.

Take Big Bites by Linda Ellerbee

Linda Ellerbee’s book, Take Big Bites, is about traveling and eating. Mostly, I think it’s about taking chances. Taking a trip alone, rafting the Colorado River, filming in Kabul, being adventurous.

I enjoyed this book, despite the fact that I don’t like food very much. Not much at all actually. I don’t like to prepare food and I don’t especially like to eat food. I would be perfectly content to just take a little pill each day to fulfill all my food needs. Don’t think I haven’t tried that. I was the queen of the diet pills during my younger days. But eventually, you have to eat food.

I don’t know much of anything about high quality food. I eat Lean Cuisine, and it tastes just fine, but the high sodium intake is affecting my blood pressure. Not to mention that after two or so weeks of nothing but Lean Cuisine I develop heartburn just thinking of the little frozen pizza waiting for me in the freezer. The only fast food establishments I’ll visit are Taco Bell and Whataburger. Scoff if you will, but if your life is as dull as mine, you take a certain pleasure in the different taste sensations that accompany the fire sauce and sour cream and cheese-like stuff offered by Taco Bell -- and I only go maybe once every two weeks, when I’m having an especially bad day and don’t care about my calorie intake.

I hate grocery stores and I don’t cook, not at all. Never.

I point all this out to prove what a great book Ellerbee has written. Taking into account that someone like me, who abhors food so much, actually enjoyed reading about food. In fact, reading sections of this book made me crave the food she was describing. Not that I’ll ever try any of it. Despite the fact that Dallas claims to have more restaurants than New York City, I will probably never set foot in most of them because visiting restaurants tends to involve having other people with you willing to go to restaurants. And I don’t have those other people required. Oh sure, I could go alone, and feel like a bigger loser than I am, sitting there by myself surrounded by lovely, happy people with their friends and family, being glared at by the staff because I’m taking up a table that could be used for two or more people who would leave a bigger tip. Visiting restaurants alone is really not even open for discussion for me. To others willing to do that, more power to you, but I’m not that brave. Yeah, I know, I can get on a plane to London all by myself, and stay there all by my lonesome for a week or so, but I can’t walk into Ciudad or Café Madrid alone. Go figure, I’m a dork. I’ve never in my life claimed to make sense.

So there, I like the idea of food. I just don’t like the actual product that is food. Like most things in life, food seems to promise so much, and deliver so little, except for more inches around my thighs. Food for me, again, like most things in life, works better in pictures and print, not reality.

Besides food though, this book is very much about traveling. Ellerbee writes about many different types of travel. Traveling alone, traveling with family, traveling for work. Traveling, I enjoy immensely. I like talking to strangers and I like seeing new places. I like seeing places that I’ve read about, seeing locations where history was created. I like checking into hotel rooms and being far away from home. I like being in a place where no one knows me or anything about me. I like not having a history. It never matters how long I’m away from home, I tend to never want to come back. This probably runs much deeper than a love of travel.

Ellerbee’s enthusiasm for travel made me admire her all the more.

Once the advisor at the my college newspaper walked into the newsroom and found me typing up an email to my boyfriend. She said, "You know Linda Ellerbee got fired for accidentally sending a letter to her boyfriend over the AP wire." I responded with, "Yeah, and look how that ruined her career."

When I was an aspiring young journalism major, I wanted to be Linda Ellerbee. She always seemed so smart and direct and put together. Put together, that’s all I ever wanted to be. From reading her stories, you are even more convinced of her put-togetherness. She’s really an impressive woman. She’s got friends, close family, and a career. I did well in wanting to be her. Unfortunately, I’ve failed somewhat miserably in my aspirations. But at least I can follow along in her book.

As a plus for people who do actually know something about preparing food – a recipe is included at the end of almost every chapter. For a brief moment I considered making the Pho that was described so well reading about it made my mouth water, but then I realized purchasing the ingredients would involve a trip to a grocery store and a visit down aisles other than the frozen food department, so the moment passed quickly.

My recommendation: Read this if you like food or travel and especially if you like both. Very well written, interesting stories.