Know My Name: A Memoir by Chanel MillerMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
I was a little hesitant to read this book. I already find I'm too overwhelmed with the news, and already so upset by what's happening in the world. I knew about this story, was angered by it, and did I really need all the details? And yet, I also felt a need to hear this story, because victims deserve to be more than a description in a news story. When I saw that it was available at the library, I put the audiobook on hold. There was a long waiting list, but it became available fairly quickly. Once I started the book, I understood why. Very hard to put down once you start.
This book is amazing. It's about much more than Chanel Miller's assault. This event was the catalyst for her writing and the journey through the legal system that put her life on hold for more than a year. But along the way, in this book, she tells us not only what she went through, but also observes what women in general must endure when walking down the street, when finding themselves in uncomfortable situations, when they're trying to navigate the world after an assault. She delivers her analysis with a laser sharp focus of how the world treats women.
Her explanation of catcalling is one of the best descriptions I've ever read. I wish I could present this to the teenage boys I work with, who claim that telling strangers in random places that they're beautiful is a compliment - seemingly clueless as to why this feels more like a threat to the recipient. It's an argument we have on a regular basis, not made any better when the boys turn to a girl and say, you'd appreciate it, right, is someone you didn't know walked by you at the mall and said, "You look good." And the girl, wanting to show the boy how cool and not feminist she is, says, "yeah, it wouldn't bother me." Alas, I remain the crazy, angry feminist who knows nothing of how the real world works.
I would listen to this book on my way to work in the morning, and sometimes during my planning period, if my classroom was empty, which meant the story was very much on my mind once my students entered the classroom. As we they were working on their art projects, and talking about life in general, I would mention the book. I was heartened to hear some of the comments from the boys in my class, and their disgust with what had happened. They were adamant that men shouldn't act like that, even if someone was drunk, so hearing things like this give me hope. I liked that this book did provide me with a way to discuss topics like this with them.
Throughout the book, Miller reflects on other news events and the way these events are perceived by the public and the media. We very much live in a culture that devalues women, and women's experiences, wanting always to provide excuses for men and others in privileged positions. Her own experiences have allowed her to view these events through the lens of someone with first hand experience with the media, law and public perception.
I think one of her most astute observations though was when she said, instead of everyone saying of victims, why didn't they report, she now feels, after going through this experience, "why would they?" She explains that she was in a position in which she could pursue this case - she was through with school, she was in an okay financial position, her family and boyfriend were supportive, she lived near the court house. But a lot of people don't have that, they have school, or jobs, or children that depend on them. They can't take off work or fly across the country and deal with the frequent rescheduling and long, drawn out process of the legal system. In Miller's case, there were multiple witness who saw the actual assault, there was ample evidence, and she reported within 24 hours, and still it was a long drawn out case which turned her life upside down. Even after all she went through, and her assailant still being found guilty on three charges, all he got was three months in jail - her medical expenses - including the $1,000 visit to the hospital on the night of the assault - weren't even covered. Technically, he was supposed to pay, but he was unemployed so it would have to be a payment plan, and most likely, they would find a way to get out of it. So what does a person gain by reporting they were raped? What if there weren't witnesses, what if they weren't able to gather evidence at the scene of the crime?
Such a powerful book, one I'm going to think about and talk about for a long time. I wish everyone would read it, especially those who don't understand what women go through on a daily basis. I sort of want to buy multiple copies and hand them out to encourage people to read them. This book is so important. I'm really glad I decided to listen to it. And the audio version is read by the author, adding another element of strength to this story.
Also, I loved that she turned to art as a means of healing. For much of my life, I'd planned to be an art therapist. Instead, I'm a high school art teacher, but I see the value of art daily and was glad to hear that Miller felt it was beneficial in the healing process.
Miller is an excellent writer, and comes from a family of writers, I imagine there will be much more from her to be read in the future.
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