Review: Know My Name by Chanel Miller

Know My Name: A Memoir by Chanel Miller
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was a little hesitant to read this book. I already find I'm too overwhelmed with the news, and already so upset by what's happening in the world. I knew about this story, was angered by it, and did I really need all the details? And yet, I also felt a need to hear this story, because victims deserve to be more than a description in a news story. When I saw that it was available at the library, I put the audiobook on hold. There was a long waiting list, but it became available fairly quickly. Once I started the book, I understood why. Very hard to put down once you start.

This book is amazing. It's about much more than Chanel Miller's assault. This event was the catalyst for her writing and the journey through the legal system that put her life on hold for more than a year. But along the way, in this book, she tells us not only what she went through, but also observes what women in general must endure when walking down the street, when finding themselves in uncomfortable situations, when they're trying to navigate the world after an assault. She delivers her analysis with a laser sharp focus of how the world treats women.

Her explanation of catcalling is one of the best descriptions I've ever read. I wish I could present this to the teenage boys I work with, who claim that telling strangers in random places that they're beautiful is a compliment - seemingly clueless as to why this feels more like a threat to the recipient. It's an argument we have on a regular basis, not made any better when the boys turn to a girl and say, you'd appreciate it, right, is someone you didn't know walked by you at the mall and said, "You look good." And the girl, wanting to show the boy how cool and not feminist she is, says, "yeah, it wouldn't bother me." Alas, I remain the crazy, angry feminist who knows nothing of how the real world works.

I would listen to this book on my way to work in the morning, and sometimes during my planning period, if my classroom was empty, which meant the story was very much on my mind once my students entered the classroom. As we they were working on their art projects, and talking about life in general, I would mention the book. I was heartened to hear some of the comments from the boys in my class, and their disgust with what had happened. They were adamant that men shouldn't act like that, even if someone was drunk, so hearing things like this give me hope. I liked that this book did provide me with a way to discuss topics like this with them.

Throughout the book, Miller reflects on other news events and the way these events are perceived by the public and the media. We very much live in a culture that devalues women, and women's experiences, wanting always to provide excuses for men and others in privileged positions. Her own experiences have allowed her to view these events through the lens of someone with first hand experience with the media, law and public perception.

I think one of her most astute observations though was when she said, instead of everyone saying of victims, why didn't they report, she now feels, after going through this experience, "why would they?" She explains that she was in a position in which she could pursue this case - she was through with school, she was in an okay financial position, her family and boyfriend were supportive, she lived near the court house. But a lot of people don't have that, they have school, or jobs, or children that depend on them. They can't take off work or fly across the country and deal with the frequent rescheduling and long, drawn out process of the legal system. In Miller's case, there were multiple witness who saw the actual assault, there was ample evidence, and she reported within 24 hours, and still it was a long drawn out case which turned her life upside down. Even after all she went through, and her assailant still being found guilty on three charges, all he got was three months in jail - her medical expenses - including the $1,000 visit to the hospital on the night of the assault - weren't even covered. Technically, he was supposed to pay, but he was unemployed so it would have to be a payment plan, and most likely, they would find a way to get out of it. So what does a person gain by reporting they were raped? What if there weren't witnesses, what if they weren't able to gather evidence at the scene of the crime?

Such a powerful book, one I'm going to think about and talk about for a long time. I wish everyone would read it, especially those who don't understand what women go through on a daily basis. I sort of want to buy multiple copies and hand them out to encourage people to read them. This book is so important. I'm really glad I decided to listen to it. And the audio version is read by the author, adding another element of strength to this story.

Also, I loved that she turned to art as a means of healing. For much of my life, I'd planned to be an art therapist. Instead, I'm a high school art teacher, but I see the value of art daily and was glad to hear that Miller felt it was beneficial in the healing process.

Miller is an excellent writer, and comes from a family of writers, I imagine there will be much more from her to be read in the future.


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Review: The Truths We Hold: An American Journey by Kamala Harris

The Truths We Hold: An American Journey by Kamala Harris
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am very much a political junkie, and so as soon as I saw this was available at the library, I requested it. I like what I know about Kamala Harris, but I don't know all that much, so, of course, I wanted to learn more.

I was a little worried this was going to read too much like campaign literature, but I actually found it very interesting and an enjoyable read - and I'm now an even bigger fan of Kamala Harris.

This book is a bit about her personal life, we learn some about her parents and her childhood and her education, but much more so about the work she'd done in her career as district attorney in San Francisco and Attorney General in California - and how her personal life has influenced the decisions she made at work.

Through her work, Harris has dealt, in-depth with topics such as crime, trafficking, immigration, the housing crisis, and health care. By reading this, I felt as if I gained a much stronger understanding of so many of these issues that are affecting the United States right now. Much more information that can be gained in tweets and soundbites on TV. She talks about how these issues affect the government, policy making, communities, and of course, individuals. One thing I liked most about the book is way it makes the political personal - we all hear, "this law does this and this" and in this book, it's explained in such a way to also show how these policies effect families, such as your neighbor who doesn't have a platform on the evening news.

Also, what I liked about this book is that while she does present issues that are having dire consequences on the U.S., she also presents ways to solve those problems. She has ideas, a vision. this isn't just complaining and pointing out what's going wrong. She backs up every problem with a way to fix it - and she's blunt about saying, this way may not work, but you won't know until you try - and nothing will change if you don't try to change it. As depressed as I often feel about the state of the world, this book provided a sense of hope.

I'm trying to make sure I write this as a book review, and not a review of Harris. So suffice it to say, I did enjoy the book. I think anyone interested in politics and wanting to learn more about what's happening in the United States would gain from reading this book, even if you don't consider yourself a Harris supporter. This book has a lot of good information in it. After reading this, I feel like I have a better understanding of what's happening with regard to immigration and the opioid crisis - both topics I hear about all the time but knew little about.

Also, since Harris announced her candidacy - there have been a lot of horrible things said about her on social media by people of both parties - and a lot of that is addressed - such as some of the laws she supported in California. It's easy to misinterpret things when you don't know the whole story. I felt better about supporting her after reading this.

This is a good book if you're interested in stories about people involved in politics, especially modern day politics - because Harris has been on the front lines for a lot of this. It's well-written, has a very thorough notes and index section - so if you're doubting any of this information, you can click on any of those links if you've got the e-version and read the full stories. I'm very glad I read the book - and I'm especially glad Harris is running for president - based on what I read in this book, she understand the law, knows how it works, and cares about the people she represents.




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Review: Playing with Fire: The 1968 Election and the Transformation of American Politics by Lawrence O'Donnell

Playing with Fire: The 1968 Election and the Transformation of American Politics by Lawrence O'Donnell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this book. It's read by Lawrence O'Donnell, so if you're a fan of his, I imagine you'll also enjoy this. The story is riveting, and so well-written and read. Despite already knowing what was about to happen, I was in tears hearing the details of Bobby Kennedy's assassination. The details all that happened during this era make the story fascinating. After listening to this, I feel like I have a much better understanding of the U.S.'s involvement in Vietnam, as well as the political maneuverings of the different parties.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is interested in American history and or politics.


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Review: Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Issacson

Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I very much enjoyed this book. For years, I've had something of a crush on Leonardo - as weird as that sounds. I'm an artist and an art teacher, so yes, I'm a Leonardo fan girl. The more I learn about him, the more I like him.

While most of us are familiar with his greatest work and achievements, this book provides the stories behind that work, and all the work that didn't get finished or receive the kind of recognition of Mona Lisa or The Last Supper. What I like the most are the parts of the story that portray him as just a normal person - a very intelligent, talented, interesting person - but in a lot of ways, normal. He had friends, he had family, they had drama - he adored his friends and family, he fought with them, he stopped speaking to them, he reconciled with them - you know, just like normal people. He had ideas - some that worked out, some that didn't. He didn't accomplish everything he wanted to accomplish. Like all artists, he was always striving for more. I think this book does a great job of presenting him as a whole, complex person, not simply a genius.

Some of the less interesting parts for me, were when the story got very analytical about his sketches, in particular, the scientific and military based sketches. Important topics, of course, but listening to this, I would sometimes find my mind drifting during those parts. That probably wouldn't have happened as much if I had the book with the images with me. (A pdf is provided for the audiobook, and I downloaded it, but was never near a computer while listening.)

Overall though, I loved the book. Because I checked it out from the library, and there's a huge wait list (I think I've been on the list since October) I could only have it for seven days. So I was listening every chance I got, sometimes when I maybe wasn't able to pay as much attention as I wanted. As a result of that, I plan to buy a copy of the book soon. (I'd planned to buy a copy after Christmas, knowing I would be getting book store gift cards, but after Christmas, the cost of the book increased - so I decided to wait on the library copy - anyway, after listening to the book, I'm now going to go ahead and buy a copy.)

This is one of those books that makes me wish I knew other art people, so that they could read this and we could discuss this. Quite a few things in this book that I'd not known that I found fascinating.

I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in Leonardo or art history. Very enjoyable and interesting story.


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Review: Charlotte Bronte - A Fiery Heart by Claire Harman

Charlotte Brontë: A Fiery Heart by Claire Harman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I've been a fan of the novels Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights since I was a teenager. This summer, I finally visited the Bronte Parsonage in Haworth and doing so made me want to learn more about the Brontes. This book reveals much about the family, Charlotte in particular and explains some of the inspiration for her writing.

This book shows that Charlotte's life really was as interesting as the characters she created. But after listening to this, I'm quite heartbroken at learning of the circumstances of her death. She seemed so very happy in her new marriage, after spending so much of her life yearning for the kind of love she now finally had. And her husband adored her, which makes me glad, because she deserved that after having lost so much during her life. There time together was much too short. Think of all the beautiful love stories she may have been able to write had she been able to live a bit longer.

I now plan to re-read Jane Eyre and her other novels.

I checked out the audio book through my library's Hoopla account, but I liked this book so much, I'm probably going to buy a hard copy so I can re-read parts of it and make notes.

Highly recommend this to Bronte fans.



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Review: My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem

This book is so good. Gloria Steinem is one of my heroes, and reading this was like being able to hang out with her and listen to her stories. That's what this book is, a collection of stories of her life experiences, focusing on travel.

As someone who travels, I was especially looking forward to this book. Her travels though are mostly within the U.S. - mine tend to be outside of the country. She writes about how going to new places, working with different people has taught her about life and influenced her work. She also shares stories about her work for women's rights, as well as some personal stories about her time with her friends.

I was sad when the book was over, I wanted to read more because I'd thoroughly enjoyed what I did read. Hoping Steinem has many more stories to tell.

Review: Pancakes in Paris by Craig Carlson

I enjoyed this memoir about an American who decided to start an American diner in Paris. It's well written and entertaining. He explains the process of how he first got the idea and then followed through, as well as the struggles of trying to run a business in Paris. I never knew all the details about their laws, and I found that interesting.

As someone who has been to Paris several times, I can't imagine craving American food while there. I sort of love the idea of a croissant and coffee for breakfast. However, I could imagine wanting to stop by later in the day, because I'm not a big fan of big fancy dinners. In Paris I sort of binge on baguettes and pastries. But maybe I'll visit one of these diners next time I visit Paris.

As someone who has always wanted to move to France, this makes me a bit hesitant of the process. I at least know I don't want to open up my own business.

Anyway, sounds like the author has been quite successful with his business, opening up several locations in the city.

I liked the book, provided an interesting perspective of life in Paris for a business owner.

I received a copy of this via NetGalley.

Review: Leonardo and The Last Supper by Ross King

I was talking to my tour guide in Florence about books about the city.  She mentioned Ross King's Brunelleschi's Dome, which I think I may have a copy of, but have never read, and then someone else mentioned that Ross King had also written a book called Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling. That's when I remembered that I had an unread copy of Ross King's Leonardo and the Last Supper on my kindle. Well, I felt like a fool because in the weeks leading up to my trip, I was trying to find books that might enhance the trip and didn't even think of these.  And days earlier I'd visited The Last Supper in Milan. So I debated between downloading Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling and trying to hurry and read it before visiting the Sistine Chapel (Rome was the next stop after Florence) or going ahead and reading Leonardo and the Last Supper.

I went with the book on Leonardo because, well, I've developed something of a fixation on Leonardo da Vinci over the past couple of years.  The more I learn about him, the more interesting he becomes and the more I want to know.  Also, I decided to read this because I already had it. Duh. I ended up really enjoying this book.  I think part of the reason I liked it so much is because I had recently viewed The Last Supper and spent some time in Milan and Florence - both cities that feature in this story.  So I almost think I got more out of it by reading the book after viewing the work rather than before. The book reinforces the things I'd learned from my tour guides and I could more easily recreate what I'd recently seen as I was reading the book.

I'd also visited an amazing da Vinci exhibit in Milan, and during that saw a lot of the work the book mentions, especially the model and sketches for the horse sculpture Leonardo wanted so much to make. 

But at the same time, I do not by any means think you need to make a trip to Milan to view The Last Supper in order to appreciate this book.  There are quite a few photos and illustrations in the book to provide you with necessary visuals.

  

This is a great book. So much information, presented in a way that is accessible to someone, even if they don't have a strong art history background. It's nonfiction, but written in such a way that it is thoroughly entertaining and reads like a story, not a history lesson. (Not that there's anything wrong with history lessons, but you know what I mean.) King brings da Vinci to life and discusses, not only the Last Supper, but also the events in the artist's life that led him to that point, and the circumstances of the area in which he was living.  I thought I was fairly knowledgeable about da Vinci, but I learned a lot I didn't already know. Reading this also made me realize that quite a few scenes in the show da Vinci's Demons that I thought were pure fiction are actually based on facts.

I was on vacation while reading this, and supposed to be spending most of my time out sightseeing, the book was just for times when I was waiting on trains or planes or something to read before going to bed at night. But I found myself staying up later than I should, or taking longer at breakfast or lunch than necessary to get in more reading time because I didn't want to put this book down.  

I highly recommend this book to anyone with an interest in art history or Leonardo da Vinci or Italian art and/or history.  Very enjoyable read.

I received a review copy of this via NetGalley.

Review: Selfish, Shallow and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on Their Decision to Not Have Kids by Meghan Daum

A couple of weeks ago, I read one of the essays included in this book in the New York Times.  As someone who has made the decision to not have children, I very much enjoyed the essay and could relate to much of what the author said.  I was happy to discover it was part of a book with other essays on the same topic.

This is a collection of very well-written, thoughtful essays about why each of these people chose to not become parents.  I started reading this, and read through several of the essays in one sitting.  However, then I got to a very boring essay, all about statistics and the decline of white people.  I had to pick up the book three different times before I made it through that one essay.  I'd have to check to see who wrote it, but I feel like the book would have been much more enjoyable had that essay not been included.  The author focused on statistics and other people whereas the other essays in the book were very personal and reflective - not weighed down by facts.  I wasn't in search of a textbook.

The goal of the essays is to show that despite what most people think, choosing to not be a parent is rarely a selfish or shallow decision.  We have our reasons.  Some are well thought out decisions, while others have always known parenthood wasn't the right path.  Most of the writers told stories to which I and I suspect anyone who has made the same decisions - could easily relate.  Their choices were varied, some based on wanting to put a priority on their careers, they feared repeating the mistakes of their parents and reliving their bad childhoods, they didn't want to pass on their depression, or were afraid their depression would severely affect their ability to be a parent, or they simply enjoyed their lives too much to disrupt it with a child, or simply, they waited too long.  I liked that most of them addressed things like the possibility of regret.  But as one writer said, we all have regrets, such not having children will probably be one of those regrets - but that wasn't a strong enough reason to have a child you weren't sure you wanted.

Even the essays to which I couldn't relate, I found to be interesting.

Mostly, as I read the book, I had this strong feeling of "these are my people."  Anyone who doesn't have children - especially women, but I'm sure also men - is constantly being expected to explain why they don't have children and then justify their reasons.  Mostly I get this from strangers or casual acquaintances.   Anyone who knows me understands well why I don't have children.  I like my life.  I like my lack of responsibilities.  I like being able to sleep in, or take long trips during the summer and change up my plans while in the middle of the trip.  I like taking last minute weekend trips, and being able to spend absurd amounts of money on concert tickets.  I like being able to do whatever I want without having to consider how this might affect someone else.

But also, some of the things my friends may not realize, as many of the writers mentioned, I worried that having a child consume my whole life.  I noticed this whenever I was in relationships, the things I cared about were set aside and my lover became everything - not because it was ever asked of me but rather because that's how my mind worked.  I'm an extremist.  I don't know how to do anything halfway.  I notice this with my job and it frightens me.  If I'd had a child, it would have become my entire life and I like my life too much to give up all the other things I enjoy about it.

And yet, another of the essays pointed out something I've lamented for years.  I've often said that I wish I'd gotten married and had a few kids - not because that seems like a good life, in fact, to me, it seems like a horrible life - but rather because then I would have a valid excuse for not having become a successful writer or artist.  How nice to say, "Oh, I could have written my novels or painted my masterpiece, but I fell in love and had these babies," and everyone would nod knowingly.  Now though, my only excuse is that for much of my adult life, my bouts of depression have forced me to spend most of my free time curled up in front of the TV, unable to do anything else.  That kind of answer is horrifying and a quick way to lose friends.

Overall, I really liked the book because it said things I've said to people for years.  Rarely did anyone understand.  But now it's in writing and I know that someone else does understand how I feel about this topic.  Also, I feel this would be a good book for people who are so baffled by those of us who have made this choice to not have children.  Maybe these essays would explain something that seems so odd to them.  But then again, probably not.  They would just claim the writers are being defensive, at least that's what I always get told when I try to explain my decision to people who chose something different.  We're constantly bombarded with stories about why having children is the greatest thing ever, would it really be so awful to try and understand why some of us think not having children is also kind of great?

I received a review copy of this via NetGalley.

Review: Elizabeth the Queen: Life of a Modern Monarch by Sally Bedell Smith

When I initially made plans to visit London this summer, I had no idea I would be arriving the weekend of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Celebration.  I selected the dates based on price, available direct flights and the desire to leave as soon as school was out.

As I prepared for the trip though, I became aware of the Diamond Jubilee events and it made me want to learn more about Queen Elizabeth II.  I think I probably know more about the royal family than the average American, but that isn't saying much.  And being something of a nerd, part of what I enjoy about traveling is the research done before I leave.  Also, I try to always select travel reading material based on the places I'll be visiting.  I wanted a book about the Queen to read on the plane.

My library is always my first resource, but all of their books about Queen Elizabeth II were checked out.  I put my name on the hold list of the one I wanted to read, but it wasn't available before I left for my trip.

Our first night in London, my friend and I sat in Hyde Park and watched the Diamond Jubilee Concert on big screens.  We bought commemorative tea towels and tote bags at Top Shop.  The windows at Harrods were based on the Diamond Jubilee.  We visited a special exhibit at the National Portrait Gallery focusing on art and the Queen. 

When I returned from Europe (a week in Paris followed my week in London) I was desolate, as I always am when returning home from a fun trip.  But what cheered me up somewhat was discovering that the book about Elizabeth II I'd requested was now available from my library.

I spent those first few days back from Europe engrossed in this book.  The story flows so well, it reads like a novel.  It's full of details and information, lots of dates, places and names, but never feels like a dull history lesson. 

This book presents the Queen as an interesting and likable person, with a dry sense of humor and a strong sense of purpose. She's devoted to her job, sometimes at the expense of her personal life, but without regret. 

I already liked the Queen, but reading this book caused me to gain even more respect for her.  I had no idea how involved she was in the government.  Granted, she doesn't have a lot of power, but she still plays an important role.  I loved the part when she's informed that Margaret Thatcher is the new prime minister.  She's told something along the lines of, "Isn't that odd, having a woman in power?"  And she's like, "Odd, how do you mean?" (Paraphrasing, it's been a while since I read the book and don't remember the exact wording.)  But the person is like, "Yeah, strange to have a woman running the country."  You just know the Queen is thinking, "You idiot, you do realize you're talking to a woman who rules a country and commonwealth?"

I really liked this book and would recommend it to anyone wanting to learn more about the Queen.

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch by Alison Argrim

I selected this book one day because I needed something to read while laying outside and soaking up some sun. I have a stack of books at home, but wanted something on the Kindle.  So that morning, I searched the library's selections and picked this memoir written by Alison Argrim, who played the part of Nellie Olseson on Little House on the Prairie.

Something you may not know about me - every day after school, I watch Little House on the Prairie.  It's because at night, I watch Golden Girls on Hallmark, and when I come home, I don't bother to change the channel.  Sometimes I sit through hours of it.  Strange, I know, but it isn't like there is anything else worth watching on at that time.  Really, I don't care enough to check for something else to watch, I just turn on the TV for the noise.

I found this book to be very interesting.  I was only going to read for an hour or two, but read until the sun moved past my lounge chair, then I went inside, laid down on the couch and read until I finsihed the book.

I enjoyed reading about what happened behind the scenes at a show I've watched my whole life.  Alison endured some truly horrible childhood experiences.  Now she devotes her time to helping children who have had similar experiences.  She's a very brave, strong person.  I enjoyed reading about her.  I recommend this book to anyone who has any interest in Little House on the Prairie. 

Blue Nights by Joan Didion

This book is so very sad.  Blue Nights is Joan Didion's collection of thoughts on the loss of her daughter.  She doesn't write specifically about her daughter's death, but rather about her daughter's absence from her life now. 

A few years ago, Didion wrote The Year of Magical Thinking about the loss of her husband, and the year that followed his loss.  I seem to recall that book being more structured.  Blue Nights isn't about a certain time period.  It's more about what Didion is going through as a parent who has lost her child, as a parent who assumed that her child would outlive her and be around now.

What broke my heart the most was when she talked about how we hold onto things in hopes of saving memories of important moments, only to look back on those items, cards and photographs and wish that we'd worked harder at enjoying that moment. 

Didion has lost so many people in her life, and she's struggling with the idea of getting older and having to do this without the people who were most important to her.

She also reflects quite a bit on parenthood, and worries about things she may have done wrong.  She's fixated on certain events.  She thinks maybe her daughter was adversely affected by being adopted and that maybe her parenting skills were off.  But as a reader, an outsider looking in, and someone who has never been a parent, but has spent plenty of time around children, I can't help but think that it's normal for parents to question their own parenting skills.  I think any parent who assumes they did everything right is probably very much in denial.  I didn't get the impression that she was a bad parent or that her daughter suffered much.  I think that Didion is probably just spending a lot of time thinking and re-thinking and over analyzing the events in her life.  She's a writer, that's what writers do.  She's seeking an answer, wondering what she could have done differently.

I very much enjoy Didion's writing and this was no exception.  But reading this broke my heart over and over again.  This book made me think of people I've lost, of moments I tried to hold onto, of things I've done wrong and things I wished I'd done differently and the horror that I can't change the past to remedy my mistakes.  It also made me realize that I'm going to grow old alone and it made me a little bit glad that I won't have people to lose and that my own alone-ness will be fully expected, unlike Didion, who thought her daughter would be there with her as she grew older.

I'd recommend this book to anyone.  It's just one of those books I think people should read.

finished reading: Dec. 2, 2011

It Looked Different on the Model by Laurie Notaro

I spent two weeks trying to make my way through a non-fiction book about Berlin under the early days of Hitler.  Not exactly a light or enjoyable read.  I finally gave up on the book and I wanted something fun. 

Was so pleased to see this book by Laurie Notaro.  I love her writing, she's so funny. 

This book was so very funny, one night as I sat here reading it, I was laughing so hard I was crying and my whole body was sore.  I couldn't stop laughing.  This is one of those books that I've told everyone they need to read and I'll probably buy a few copies to give as Christmas gifts.

Of course, as I found out last time I insisted on everyone reading one of her books, not everyone gets her sense of humor.  But then again, I tend to not be amused by things that most people find funny.

Notaro writes about simple, every day situations, that become hilarious.  Such as trying on a shirt that's a size too small and then getting trapped in it, or being banned from the satellite post office for wanting to purchase too many two cent stamps.  I could especially relate to having lost an iPhone - which I did this summer and felt the same raging hatred for the person who now I had my phone and all my photos and notes.  The funniest story was about her husband thinking she was eating candy in bed.  I won't tell you what happened, but highly recommend you find a copy and read it. 

Darkness Visible by William Styron

I happened to be trapped under an especially dark storm cloud on the day when I saw this offered for a dollar or two on Amazon Kindle's Daily Deals.  At first, I scoffed and thought the last thing I needed was another self help book, and then an hour or so later I thought, maybe it's a sign that this book showed up in my facebook newsfeed at that moment, so I went ahead and downloaded it to my Kindle.

It's not a self help book, but rather the story of one man's struggle with depression. It felt somewhat comforting to read this at the time I read it.  It doesn't really provide any answers or solutions for how to get through depression.  What it does provide though is the sense that someone else knows how it feels not just to be struggling with darkness, but also to be in a situation that no one else seems to understand. 

This is a very short read.  When I downloaded it, I thought it would be longer.  But I'd recommend it to anyone who has dealt or is dealing with depression.  I'm tempted to suggest that anyone with loved ones affected by depression also read this, but I don't know that it would help.  I can't help but think that people who have never experienced true depression can ever have any sort of awareness or understanding about just how debilitating it can be. 
Overall, I felt this was well worth a read.

Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her

All I ever wanted was to be Nancy Drew.  Anything else that I ever claimed I wanted, it always led back to Nancy Drew.  She was smart and confident and always did what was right.  Even when others doubted her, she never doubted herself.  She drove a cool car and she had a couple of fun girlfriends and a really nice boyfriend who respected her. 

Most of all, she never hesitated when following her instinct.  When she wanted something, she went after it, she didn't sit around and worry about all that might go wrong.  The fear of failure didn't exist in Nancy Drew.  Nancy Drew never failed.  If she did, in any way, mess up, she was able to fix it, again, without hesitation.  She never spent hours in front of the mirror, only to decide later that it was better to just stay home.  She never took the easy or the safe route.  She never worried so much about rejection that she eventually decided life would be simpler if she just didn't try.

Nancy was everything I wanted to be.  As a child, I devoured those books, one after another.  My friend, Mollie, and I, kept a list of the ones we'd read.  Couldn't get enough of those books.  I had a set at home that my aunt had given me, they were the Grossett & Dunlop version, with greyish mauve covers, and each book had two stories.  I loved those books so much.  Then I started reading the Case Files and kept reading them until I got to college. 

I've had this book in the stack of books by my bed for a long time, a few years, maybe.  But I was waiting for the right mood before I picked it up.  When I want to sink into a book, I usually want fiction.  But with this book, I'd read a bit, set it aside, read something else, and then return to it for a while.  That's the thing with nonfiction, there isn't the same need to find out what happens because usually, you already know.

I knew all about Nancy having multiple authors.  Nerd that I was, I remember having my mom order the research material about Carolyn Keene from Encyclopedia Britannica. 

What I loved about this book is the way it explained Nancy's creation and evolution alongside the women's rights movement.  This book isn't just the history of Nancy Drew, but also a very thorough explanation of the history of the women's movement toward independence.  Women want to be strong and independent and when it felt like the whole world was telling them it was wrong to want that, they had Nancy Drew to serve as an example.  They read these books as a child, only to become adults who are told they need to be submissive to their husbands and stay at home and take care of babies.  They weren't satisfied with this.  Was Nancy solely responsible for this?  Of course not, but she did play an important role.  I think the problem is that most of us leave Nancy behind as we get older. 

I will admit to feeling more than a little bit of sadness at reading this.  I kept thinking of the child I was so many years ago, reading those Nancy Drew books, and I thought of how disappointed she would be with the person I've become.  That same child who, when not reading, was sitting at a typewriter or a sketching out pictures.  I was going to change the world with my words and my drawings.  But I didn't grow up to be Nancy Drew.  I don't solve mysteries or make great discoveries.  No one is in the least affected by my words or my paintings.  Nancy would not be pleased.       

As I finished reading the book, I found myself thinking of all things I could do, or should do and yet, I know that inspiration will fade soon after I've returned the book to the shelf, and I'll just go back to wishing I could be Nancy Drew.

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven

I first read about this book on Oprah's website, something about travel books.  I thought this sounded like something I would enjoy because I love to travel, and am always searching for travel books to learn about other people's experiences with travel.  This is the story of two young women, just out of college who decide to visit China in the mid-80s, when people are just being allowed to visit. 

The story intrigued me because when I was younger, my plan had been to travel the world as soon as I finished college.  That didn't happen.  I instead got a job right after college and was 28 the first time I left the country, much too old to  have any desire to do the backpacking/hostels, student budget sort of traveling.  I'm a grown-up, I only stay in nice hotels.  But I've always been curious about what I missed by not traveling when I was younger.  This book provides a glimpse into one of those adventures on which I missed out.

I couldn't put this book down.  The story is so interesting and very well written.

I admire the courage these two women had, even if they were terribly naive and had no idea as to what to expect when they arrived in China.  They were determined to discover the "real" China.  No Holiday Inns or Hiltons.  This was before the internet and the ever so valuable TripAdvisor.  They had only a Lonely Planet guide to provide recommendations.  Based on the descriptions of some of their lodging choices, it sounds absolutely miserable, and I was glad I was reading about it, and not experiencing it.  Gave me a whole new appreciation for my own travel choices - my style being, the more modern the better.  I enjoy learning about the history and seeing the locations and such, but when I'm in my hotel room, I want to be very much in the present.

As if navigating through a foreign land, with no real plan or understanding of the language wasn't difficult enough, the real problem, the author eventually discovered, was her companion's mental health.  They didn't know each other very well before they took this trip.  They were college friends -- you know how that works, you hang out together, you think you have lots in common because, well, you're at the same school, you take the same classes, you have the same brave, bold ideas about conquering the world, but once you enter the "real world" - set off the college campus, things change.  Claire begins to show the classic signs of schizophrenia, but Susie (the author) is in denial, thinking it's just mood swings, the discomforts of foreign travel and homesickness.  Then she can't deny it anymore.

What I liked most about this is the way the author presents her surroundings and the people she meets along the way.  For me, as someone who travels alone quite a bit, the kindness of strangers is what rang most true in this story.  My philosophy is that if you take the initiative to actually step out of your comfort zone and attempt to discover the world, the Universe will help you out along the way when you get in trouble.  (Of course, news stories will confirm this is not always true, sometimes awful things happen and there isn't anyone there to help you.)  But in my experience, I find that anytime I've been lost or confused, someone takes the time to point me in the right direction, and anytime I've been lonely or feeling abandoned, someone seems to appear and next thing I know I'm spending the evening with a new friend.  Someday I hope to write my own collection of travel stories, but until then, I will happily read stories like this.

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

A while back, during a drive to and from Austin, I listened to the audio book, The Paris Wife, about Hemingway's wife in Paris.  That sparked my interest in Hemingway.  After I finished The Paris Wife, I went to Half Price Books and bought a copy of A Moveable Feast, with the intention of reading it right away.  But I got distracted and the book remained on the floor next to the couch for the next two months.

Then I recently started hearing about the new Woody Allen movie, Midnight in Paris, and I kept hearing about how bits of the dialogue were taken from Hemingway's Moveable Feast.  I figured before I watched the movie, maybe I should read the book (though I've been told the movie is completely enjoyable without having read Moveable Feast.) 

Today, I wanted to spend some time out in the sun reading, so I decided to pick up this book off the floor where it has sat since I went out that night and bought it -- so much for having to have it right then.

I've only read one other book by Hemingway, that being A Farewell to Arms.  I love that book, but a lot of people I know do not enjoy Hemingway's work.  But I have to say, I like Moveable Feast quite a bit.

The writing is very sparse, very to the point, which I know is what some of the complaints are with regard to Hemingway's writing.  But it works so well with these stories.

These are his memories of his days in Paris, as a young writer, before he became well known or successful.  (Same time period covered in the book The Paris Wife which is why I initially had wanted to read it.)  In the preface he explains that the stories could very well be fiction.  (They're being written about 40 years after the events happened.)  During the time period this story covers, he was very young and ambitious and very poor.  He was newly married, with a baby.  He spent his days in cafes, working on his writing.  He spent his evenings drinking with other famous writers and artists - the Lost Generation.

Most of all though, it's the story of Paris.  His writing details the streets he walks, the restaurants and parks he visits.  Having been to Paris a few times and being very much in love with the city, I enjoyed remembering these locations and visualizing them as the stories unfolded.  This was after the war, when Paris was rebuilding and people could live there, and live well, for very little money.  He emphasizes that he didn't make much money on his writing as a reporter, but they still had a place to live, money for bread and good wine and time for fun.  They could afford to travel and gamble.  They hiked and skied and they enjoyed their life despite being rather poor financially.

In the end, it was success and the money that came with it that destroyed the happy world of Paris in which he and his wife lived.  "I wish I had died before I ever loved anyone but her," he writes of his first wife, forty something years after he fell in love with someone else. 

There are so many beautiful lines in this book.  Had I not been lying outside in the sun reading, I would have been obnoxiously underlining passages.  From his descriptions of his own writing process, I get the impression he did a lot of self editing, which is probably the result of what is considered his stark prose.  But it's beautiful in this context.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in writing, because he writes quite a bit about what it took to become a writer, or anyone interested in Paris and especially to anyone interested in the so-called Lost Generation of Paris in the 20s.  This book is full of mentions of people such as Gertrude Stein and Ezra Pound, Sherwood Anderson and Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald.

And on the subject of Fitzgerald, the story about him and Hemingway taking a trip to a from Lyon would make a hilarious movie.  Why hasn't that been done yet?  Hemingway gets on the train, thinking Fitzgerald is on it, only to have the train leave without Fitzgerald.  They finally meet up in Lyon, and go to retrieve the Fitzgerald's car, which has had the top removed because, "Zelda doesn't like tops on cars."  They have to keep stopping because it keeps raining on them, and then Fitzgerald decides he's dying of a fever and expects Ernest to take care of him.  Then he's upset because he's never spent a night away from his wife (except, as Ernest can't help noticing, he wasn't with her the night before because the two of them were in Lyon together.)  Very funny.

Composed: A Memoir by Rosanne Cash

A teacher at school noticed me reading this book during a break and said, "Oh, I love Johnny Cash.  Is that book any good?"

"It's very good, " I said.  That's all I said, because I needed to get back to my classroom and didn't feel like explaining that this was a book by Rosanne Cash, about Rosanne Cash.  If she wanted a story about Johnny Cash, there are probably plenty out there, but this isn't one of them.  And besides all that, it wasn't like I was going to let her borrow this book, she's had my copy of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo since October, so I'm certainly not letting her have any more of my books.

If someone is wanting a book full of dark family secrets and confessions, this is probably not the book for you.  I'm sure that Rosanne Cash could have written something like that, if she'd chosen.  I'm going to guess she has plenty of stories she could tell, and it would be within her right, because those stories are a part of her life.  But instead she remains on a higher ground, showing respect for her family and choosing to keep their worst moments private.

While she hints at the pain caused by divorce and the addictions that haunted members of her family, she leaves out the details.  Instead of a sordid celebrity tell-all, this book is instead a series of essays about her reflections on the events of her life.  She writes less about the actual events and more about the way these events have affected her thoughts and her actions.  She writes about how she's approached life's milestones - living on her own for the first time, establishing her career as a musician and a writer, falling in love, becoming a wife and a mother, falling in love again, becoming a mother to a son, losing parents and other loved ones, and learning to forgive.  She writes beautifully about these events and the way that she turned to art and music and examined her own ideas and beliefs and paid attention to her dreams. 

After reading about how she listened to Miles Davis while painting, I started playing Kind of Blue for my students while they worked. 

I've always been a fan of her music, which is why my sister gave me a copy of this book for Christmas.  But after reading this book, I've gained a new respect for her.  Shortly after reading this book -- I was able to see her perform in Fort Worth at the Main Street Arts Festival.  (And if you don't already follow her on twitter, I very much recommend you do, she's funny and smart.)

Summer at Tiffany by Marjorie Hart

I very much enjoyed this story of a woman's memorable summer in New York City, working at Tiffany.

The year is 1945, the country is at war and her family is horrified over the idea of her going off to the big city to have fun.  The impression is given that up until this point in her life, Marjorie has always been very sensible.  She attends college in Iowa, close to home.  She practices the cello and when her mother had surgery, she took a semester off to help around the house.  She never would have considered going to New York City, until she learns that some of her sorority sisters have gone to the City and easily found jobs and her roommate convinces her that they should do the same thing. 

The save up glass bottles to try to earn enough money for their train ticket, convinced that once they get to the City, they'll quickly find jobs and make lots of money.  They're going to go lots of Broadways shows and shop at fancy department stores and go to the beach.

Finding a job isn't as easy as they were led to believe.  Their first few days are spent standing in long lines with other young women in the employment offices, filling out applications and often being told there are no more openings.  Then they see Tiffany & Co. on Fifth Avenue.  Tiffany doesn't even have an employment office.  But they talk their way into a job as pages on the sales floor.  They're only making twenty dollars a week, and know they can't afford to live off that, but they can't turn down a job at Tiffany!

They don't let their meager salary keep them from enjoying the city, hoping for a glimpse of Wallis Simpson, and marveling over the laughter of Judy Garland, and trembling at the sight of a gangster who needs his watch repaired.  They date midshipmen and celebrate the end of the war in Times Square. 

I loved the innocence of the story, a glimpse of a different New York City, a time when people carried themselves with a bit more dignity.  It's a time when men and women went on dates and got to know each other rather than today when everyone is simply expected to "hook up" and "put out" moments after making eye contact.  It's the kind of New York I yearn for every time I wander around the city.  I enjoyed seeing New York City through the eyes of someone living in the City for the first time -- that first sighting of the Empire State Building, the shops on Fifth Avenue, dinner at the Stork Club. There were several amusing moments when she tried to order a drink or dessert, always wanting to sound as if she belonged and not like a wide-eyed girl from Iowa. 

I've been told that I'm an old soul.  I love Sinatra and black and white movie and stories about a time that I can only imagine.  Also, I love New York City, so this book was perfect for me.  It's a quick read and provided a nice, enjoyable escape from the holiday blahs. 

I don't care about your band by Julie Klausner

I was talking about books to some students the other day and the conversation went a bit like this:

"I'm reading this book called, I don't care about your band," I said.  "It's well, a little graphic, so I can't tell you the details, but it's about this woman's dating experiences.  It's funny, but it's really gross.  Like, really, really gross.  Some of the things that happen in it.... yuck.  When I started the book, I almost decided to not continue past the second chapter, I was just thinking, this woman is a slut.  But I kept reading and parts are hilarious.  This woman, though, she's just stupid."

My kids were laughing.  "She's just stupid," mimicked one of the boys.

"She is.  I can't even tell you the things that happen.  Makes me so glad I don't date and never have," I said. My students don't believe me when I say things like this, but it's true.


And that sort of sums up my feelings about his book.  I don't date now, didn't really date in my twenties.  There was one brief sort of almost-relationship experience, but in hindsight, I've realized it existed more in my head than in actuality.  I was sad when it ended, but eventually I was glad that it never really, um, came to fruition, if you, well, know what I mean.

I suspect there may be something wrong with me for not having any real interest in dating and all that accompanies dating.  But as it is, at the advanced age of 35, I don't really feel like I'm missed out on much.  When I read a book like this, I am overwhelmingly grateful that I missed out on such experiences.

In the beginning she claims to have had a great, loving relationship with her parents, but if that was the case, why go on such a desperate search for "love"? Or whatever the heck she was searching for. She mentions often that she's in need of a husband and a father for her future children, but wow, did she honestly for even a moment consider any of those men to be candidates for a role in her future? She doesn't seem to be going about it in a way that I would consider to be productive. But then again, I don't know about this stuff. I've never had any interest in seeking out a future husband or life-partner or whatever term is used these days.

The author is giving blow jobs by ninth grade.  Maybe this is normal and maybe I'm just that sheltered.  If so, thank goodness.  Some things do not belong in my mouth.

Despite my shock at her ninth grade experiences, I kept reading, and several times I found myself laughing aloud.  As horrible and grotesque as many of the stories are, they are also hilarious.  Most, or rather, all of the stories are more about sex than dating.  She doesn't talk much about dating.  She tends to meet guys and then get undressed as soon as possible.  Ugly guys, fat guys, boring, unemployed, drug using guys, she's not particular.  She does them all: Men with dirty apartments and bedbugs, men with criminal records and/or indie records, men who smell bad and treat her even worse.  One impression I got from this book is that the author possessed no self respect, none at all.  Why oh why would anyone put herself in these situations?  You have to hate yourself to do some of the things she did.

While I believe the author and I are the same age, and I've been in situations similar to hers, known people like the ones she mentions, I couldn't relate to the way she interacted with these people.  For instance, as indicated by the title, she talks about dating musicians and how a person who dates a musician has to go to every show. I will admit to having some involvement with musicians, it happens to everyone at some point, even to people like me who work hard to avoid "dating", but also, I never had a problem telling these men that I just couldn't attend every gig, sometimes I had other plans, sometimes, there was a really good movie on TV that I wanted to stay home and watch. Most of the guys respected the fact that I had a life separate from them.  Those who didn't, well, they moved on, which was best for all involved.  That's the difference between the author and I.  I've never had a problem telling a guy no.  At least, not since I was like 21.  I'm a quick learner, one bad experience and I'm done.  Works out well, really, it does.
By the end of the book, I found that I really liked the author, despite thinking she's not very smart, takes way too many risks with regard to her body and is completely lacking in self-respect.  I especially felt that I bonded with her when she started in on her dislike of Brooklyn.  I can bond with just about anyone over a dislike of Brooklyn.  Though I have to say that her rant about how bothered she is that men are attracted to Cameron Diaz in Something About Mary and Pam on the Office made me think she and I wouldn't get along all that well.  She sounds like one of those women that likes to get really made up because she thinks that's what men like and she's angry at the idea that they don't like that.  Being that I've never done the whole "dating, seeking out men" thing, I've never given all that much thought to what men like with regard to how I dress.  Maybe that's my loss, but after reading this book, I have to say I'm grateful for having missed out on all these experiences. 

Overall, I enjoyed the book because it's funny.  It took a few chapters before my impression of the book moved from disgusting to hilarious, but now that I'm done reading it, I've recommended it to several friends.  In the end, the author claims to have learned from these experiences.  She chalks them up as her "twenties".  I think back on my twenties, which ended five years ago and all I remember is working late at a job I hated and so that I could pay the bills that accompany adulthood, so I guess I kind of appreciated living out the author's experiences from a distance, without suffering the consequences.

-- Random bit here:  Near the end of the book there is a line in quotes, and I wondered if it was in quotes because it came from a song or movie or something, but whatever it was, I really liked it.  Does anyone know what this is referencing, or is it just something the author wrote:  "going to bed early at least a couple of nights a month to make the loneliness stop screaming for the night."  Something about that line really hit home for me, even though I very much chose to be alone.  Sometimes, well, sometimes, you know...