Disquiet by Julia Leigh

I selected this book because I like the title and the cover is beautiful. Probably not the best of reasons, but so be it.

A woman and her two children show up at her mother's home in France. Around this same time, the woman's brother and his wife and their dead baby show up. Gradually, through bits of dialogue and her interactions with others, the reader discovers the circumstances that led to her return home, as well as hints about her future plans.

I liked the book. It's a very short novel, a novella, I guess. A quick read about a family in France. I liked the style in which this was written. There are not any words wasted explaining the setting or background. The events are described, and it's up to the reader to figure out the back story. Once the full story is pieced together, the reader realizes in just a few words, there is a lot happening, or rather, a lot has happened that is currently affecting these characters.

I liked the atmosphere created in the book. It felt dark and moody: a French chateau; family secrets; mischievous children; sad, disappointed family members.

Overall, an interesting read. I enjoyed it, a nice way to spend an evening. Planning to read more by this author.

Almost Moon by Alice Sebold

A friend, who knows me fairly well though she hasn't known me for very long, recommended I read this book. The fact that she felt it would resonate with me exemplifies how well she knows me.

This is the story of Helen and her relationship with her mother, and way that relationship has effected Helen in other aspects of her life.

The title comes from her father telling her that her mother is there, they just can't see all of her. Like the moon? asks Helen, we know it's there, but sometimes it's hidden.

The novel begins with Helen killing her mother and continues with her trying to figure out what to do next and remembering the events in her life that led her to her mother's death.

Her mother suffers from some form of mental illness though there is no indication that she was ever diagnosed or treated. Whatever her mother's problem, whether real or imagined, the result is that she's controlling and cruel. She does all she can to convince her daughter that no one could ever love her except for her. She expects her husband and child's world to revolve around her. She's weak outside of the home, but in complete control while inside.

The damage she inflicts on Helen is deep and lingering. Helen grows up, goes away to college, has a husband and children, all in her attempt to be normal, to have a life that didn't revolve around her mother. But eventually she loses all of that. She doesn't finish college, her marriage ends, and she returns to live in a home near her parents, supported by her father's money. Just as her mother wanted, she becomes her whole world.

This book is very well-written, hard to put down. Helen embarks on one shocking event after another, having no clue as to what she should do next. It paints what I would imagine to be, a very real picture of what goes through someone's mind when something so startling happens. Helen didn't perform a cold, calculated murder. Her actions were impulsive and she doesn't know what to do to remedy what's she's done. The characters are baffled by the events, not sure how one is supposed to behave following a murder.

I've only glanced at other reviews of this book, and noticed a lot of negative comments. I think that's because the book concerns a very harsh subject, a situation that is foreign to most people. I don't mean murder, we've all read plenty of murder stories, but rather the idea of a mentally disturbed mother. For some people, a relationship such as the one between Helen and her mother is too absurd to imagine. Oh, to be one of those people...

Despite being so engrossed in the story, there were times when I needed to set the book down and take a break because of the intensity of the story. There were moments that hit very close to home. Everyone says they have a "crazy" mother, but as I got older I realized that people have different definitions of crazy. Not everyone's mother belittles then and tries to destroy their self-confidence, not everyone's mother says mean hateful things to their children, or makes us stories to try to cause problems in their other relationships, or writes anonymous letters calling them whores. When I got older, I was surprised to learn that some people had mothers who actually provided emotional support and encouragement. At the age of 33, that still seems like a novel concept to me: a kind, caring mother.

Most of all though, I sympathized with Helen's attempts to get away. Hers failed. I find myself in that position, trying to escape and feeling like the world can come tumbling down with a crazy phone call, or -- because I had to quit answering my phone -- a crazy email. I find myself angry and wondering why I'm not allowed to live my own life, why I've had to spend so much of my life compensating for my mother's mental instability. Unlike Helen though, I have made the decision to never have a family out of fear of replicating the only example I had. Even though I know this story is fiction, Helen's failed attempt at having a family seems to validate my own beliefs.

My only issue with the book though was the ending. There was so much buildup and so much happening, then the book just ends. I felt like the story wasn't finished, that if anything, the real action had just started. I wanted to know what happened next, but the book was over.

Life of Pi

My book club selected this book to read. I'd had it sitting by my bed for the past two years and several times I attempted to read it, but got distracted by something I considered more interesting.

I enjoyed the book. I didn't love it. A lot of people that I know absolutely love the book. I found it interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning when Pi is experimenting with different religions and is participating in three different ones, much to his modern, secular-minded father's horror.

But then Pi's family decides to move to Canada. Pi's father owned a zoo, and he's sold most of the animals to other zoos in America, so they're on a boat filled with animals when the boat sinks. Pi and a tiger named Richard Parker survive. This is when the real story begins. The book details Pi's attempts to survive on this boat in the middle of the ocean with a tiger as his only companion.

In the beginning he fears the tiger, but eventually they come to depend on each other and he regards the tiger as his friend.

This book is steeped in symbolism and probably requires multiple readings, or as the case with me, a thorough discussion involving multiple viewpoints.

To me though, this was a story about the power of one's imagination, and the way a person learns to survive in extreme circumstances. When the world becomes too unbearable to survive, Pi creates a new world in which he can exist until his situation changes.

The Song Is You by Arthur Phillips

Before this book was even released, I read all sorts of glowing reviews about it. Beautiful writing, observational wit, a man and his iPod, a man who connects to his music, etc.

I like music, I was lured in by the reviews. I checked it out from the library as soon as it was released.

Let me just begin my review by saying I think this is a terrible book. And here is why I think this is a terrible book:

A man going through a mid-life crisis, who is disappointed with everything about his life, becomes obsessive about music. He falls for a young singer at a bar and begins to stalk her. There is nothing beautiful or romantic about this. He starts sending her emails and following her around, taking photos, he travels to Europe to see her. Creepy. And the worst part, the part that makes it clear that this book is being written by a man wanting to live out his own fantasies through his characters -- is that rather than be concerned by this stalking, the singer is flattered and yearning to meet her stalker.

This is the kind of story that supports the idea that women like being stalked, that we're flattered by obsessive creeps and invite the idea of being assaulted.

If this was the story of a woman stalking a male musician the woman would be considered crazy and delusional and fit for an institution.

When women write stories like this, about following around men they adore and then have their attention returned, the writing is dismissed as "chick lit." But when a man writes this kind of drivel, he's considered "one of the greatest writers of our time." I think not. I'm going to label this as "dick lit." This is nothing more than a man writing about his fantasies of hooking up with a young woman -- in this particular case, a talented, famous young woman. And just to make this nice and neat, after it becomes certain the young girl wants him, he decides to return to his wife and continue living a nice, normal life. Convenient. Gag. Wish I'd not wasted my time reading this book.

Then We Came to an End by Joshua Ferris

It's been a while since I read this book, I fell behind on my book reviews, but here's what I remember...

Do you watch the movie, Office Space, and the TV show, The Office, and laugh hysterically because it's so ridiculous and true? You laugh because you lived it, and you survived, or are surviving it, and you have to laugh to keep from crying?

I spent nine years in an office. I started making plans to leave about seven years in, and around that time, things started to fall apart. Moving in new directions, relocations, etc. It worked out well for me, around the time I was ready to leave, the company was ready to be rid of us, so I waited for the severance package. We all did okay.

It was after I'd been away from the office for a while that I found this book at the library. As is often the case, it was the title that attracted me. I thought it was a tragic love story. But instead it's the story of an office and what happens in an office when a group of people work together every day. It's about the way their unique, individual personalities mesh and collide. In this particular case, it is about what happens in such an office when the economy takes a hit, and downsizing begins - which explains the title.

As I was reading this, I thought, this person must have worked at the same company I worked. I did some research, thinking of all the wanna-be writers at our news distribution service. I was unable to find any connections, and it was then I realized that all offices, for the most part, are very much the same. It doesn't matter if they are distributing news or paper or plastic, in the end, it's all the same.

The story rang so true. I could match the characters with characters from my own experiences in the corporate world. It was funny and it was sad because that's what real life is.

I've recommended this book to all of my former co-workers, though I don't think any of them took me up on the recommendation. It's an enjoyable read, if only for nostalgic purposes. I don't know that I'd find it so humorous if I was still in that situation.

And here's the website that accompanied the book, which I found to be amusing: http://www.hachettebookgroup.com/features/twctte/twctte_022307/index.html

Sundays at Tiffanys by James Patterson

A sad little girl has an imaginary friend named Michael. Years later, as an adult -- who is still tormented by her overbearing mother -- Michael returns to her life. They fall in love and live happily ever after.

But no explanation is ever provided as to how this is possible. Why is Michael suddenly real and no longer imaginary? Am I expecting too much to want to know this?

I was drawn to this book because -- well, how can I put this without sounding a little off? -- I'm a big believer in imaginary friends. I exist almost entirely within my head. I gave up on real, human relationships long ago. I couldn't handle the disappointment. I became attached too easily and broken too completely. As a child, I created a group of people to befriend me because I didn't have the social skills to make real friends. As an adult, while I'm sane enough to realize imaginary friends are indeed imaginary and not real, I keep them alive by writing about them. I never give much thought to my real world surrounding, I'm too busy focusing on my fictional people. I tell myself someday I'll put the story together, call it a novel and turn it into my livelihood, but honestly, I think I just keep the characters going because without them, I'd be alone, completely and totally alone.

I can write this because the few people I know who read this already know that I'm, well, how did I describe it earlier? ... a bit off.

Anyway, point being, I had hoped this book would further explore the idea of people depending on imaginary friends. I needed an explanation. I'd assumed that the story would be about someone who met a person who embodied everything she's once yearned for in an imaginary friend. But none of that happened. The imaginary friend had no explanation and he agreed that he was very much imaginary.

Very disappointing book.

The Next Thing on my List by Jill Smolinski

I enjoyed this book quite a bit.

I read about this book while reading a story about people making lists. I'm a big list maker. Books to read this summer, things to do before I turn 30 (that one passed a few years ago), places to visit, languages to learn, you get the idea.

This book is about a woman, June, drifting through her life. She's content enough, but doing only what she needs to do to get by. She meets a woman, Marissa, at a Weight Watchers meeting, they're in a car wreck and the woman dies. Later, a list is found in the car, "things to do before I turn 25" that belonged to the Marissa. June is well past 25, but she's struck by the list and the idea of Marissa having these goals, and not ever having the chance to fulfill them. It's been a few months since I've read the book, but if I recall correctly, while visiting the cemetery she runs into Marissa's brother and in an attempt to strike up a conversation with him and she tells him that she's decided to finish the list for Marissa.

What becomes apparent is that June has never had a list or a set of goals. As I said, she's drifted through life, letting life happen to her. For the first time ever, she's got a purpose and this changes her.

What I thoroughly enjoyed about the book was the manner in which it was written. June seemed like such a real character. In so many ways, unfortunately, I could relate to her -- settling in a boring job, living alone, drifting. I'm around her age, and constantly faced with the same realization that I stopped living my life years ago, just threw in the towel and decided I'd observe from the side over her. Throughout the book, she name drops bits of pop culture that reminds me that she's one of my contemporaries. Her surprise of Marissa's love for Trent Reznor, without providing a description of Trent Reznor ... women of a certain age and mindset know exactly what was meant, no elaboration needed, those older and younger, well, this book isn't really meant for them, is it?

Near the end of the book, I thought the storyline got a little bizarre. One item on the list was to change someone's life. She takes on a troubled teenager, and then possibly too caught up in the idea of goals and changing the world gets too involved with the teen, almost destroys her own life in her zeal to save this girl. It all works out in the end, but it seems a little too simple and neat.

In the end though, you feel that June has begun living with a purpose, and that's what matters. She'll never go back to drifting again. She's involved and present, no longer a neutral observer. And that's a whole lot more than I've been able to accomplish in my 32 years of life.

Overall though, I enjoyed the book and would readily recommend it to anyone in need of light, yet inspiring, read.

For One More Day by Mitch Alborn

This book was supposed to be a selection for our book club. Not something I would have normally read.

The person who suggested the book really liked it.

Didn't do much for me. As I said later when we discussed the book, it left me underwhelmed.

I read it a few months ago, and now that I'm writing this, I remember very little about the book, it had that kind of non-impact.

The story is all about this guy who is on the verge of ending his life. As he's dying he's thinking of the ways his mother supported him and the ways he didn't support his mother. He was a young boy who wanted love from his dad. He was being raised by his mom though, his dad having left, or his mom having left his dad. (His dad was having an affair, had an entirely other family off in another town, I don't remember now if the mother discovered this and ended the marriage or if the father chose the other family over her.)

The mother had a rough life, being single in a time when being divorced was quite scandalous.

But for the most part, the son didn't behave any differently than any other young boy would behave. He loved baseball; he loved his father. He was too young to understand the sacrifices his mother made. As he got older he should have known better, one stupid moment in particular that stands out was the father dragging his son away from the mother's birthday party to participate in a game for old-timers. The son is a grown man by now and at that point should have had the good sense to tell his dad, "Nope, sorry, I'm busy today."

I guess the idea of the book is that the man's life is in shambles because he didn't love his mother enough. As he lays dying, he revisits his mother and he realizes she loved him unconditionally. This changes his life. He survives and changes his life, because a part of abandoned daughter's life and all is well.

It's all a little too simple and silly for me. The nice thing about the book is that it is quite short, so I didn't feel like I lost much time in reading it, but I didn't think I gained much from it either.

Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I read this book back in high school because I love Gatsby and I was haunted by the title. So beautiful. And the story that it told was as beautiful as the title.

I decided to re-read it though because while I could say that I loved the story, the prose -- as expected from Fitzgerald -- paints such a captivating pictures of a tragic love affair and Paris and the French Riveria -- I was fairly certain that I was too young to fully understand what all was happening in the story.

So I read the book again. It was as beautiful and tragic as I remember. A doctor falls in love with a mental patient. He seems to be the only person capable of saving her. But he does too well in caring for her -- at least that would be his assessment. After years of marriage and two children, Nicole becomes well -- as well an anyone else at least. And seeing that she is no longer dependent on him, her husband Dick Diver begins to lose interest. Instead he's drawn to young actress, attracted by her youth and her need. Dick doesn't want to be in love, he doesn't want a healthy partner, he wants someone dependent on him. He wants to be the hero, his lover's salvation. He has no use for a healthy Nicole. Therin lies the tragedy.

The story is about their love affair, their marriage and then subsequent disintegration of their relationship. While that could be a story told a million times, one which happens in at least half of all relationships, it's Fitzgerald's prose that makes this story worth reading. This is the kind of writing that makes you ache and you feel their lives falling apart, watch them begin to go their different directions and realize their love was never love at all.

Finished reading: April 20, 2008 (second time)