Friday, August 05, 2005

We Thought You Would Be Prettier – True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive by Laurie Notaro

I was wandering around the bookstore the other day when I first saw the title of this book. Dammit, I thought, that was going to be the title of my book. However, my book exists only as fragments in my head, and a few never-to-be read files on the hard drive of my computer. I wish I could write a book like what Notaro has written.

This book is so funny. Laugh out loud funny. I would read this during my lunch break and just sit there in the break room cracking up – giving my co-workers yet another reason to question my sanity.

From ebay to spam to owning too many books to getting locked in your own backyard– she hits the nail on the head. Finally a book written for girls like me. Laurie refers to girls like this as “The Idiot Girl Club.” I am so proud to know there is a club for girls like me.

I like to say that all I ever wanted was to be “Put together.” You know the type, Dallas is full of put-together girls. Makeup always in place, their hair is perfect, their clothing looks like it was tailored specifically for their bodies because they all have perfect thin, model-like bodies. They never have their lunch proudly displayed on the front of their blouses or lipstick on their teeth or a glob of mascara on the side of their nose. Oh, to be one of those girls.

But this is me: I’m the girl with a salsa stain on her brand new tan skirt. I own one good pair of jeans, every other pair being too tight in the ass and too loose in the waist, making me look either fat or saggy or both. However, there is a white spot on the knee of my only good pair of jeans, there as a result of a drop of my acne cream falling onto it one rushed morning. Yeah, acne cream. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m applying acne cream and wrinkle prevention serum on my face every morning and night. That’s fair, right?

I’ll never understand the whole “fashion” thing. I can’t get it together looks wise. The more I try the more I fail. Any attempt at following a trend or simply looking nice is thwarted by a bra strap showing, the waistband of my panties on display above my jeans.

I’ve never learned to apply makeup properly. By the time I get done trying to cover up the acne and the wrinkles, I’m exhausted.

No matter how much I spend on a piece of clothing, it’s still too tight in spots and too big in others – same piece of clothing mind you. If I dare to fix my hair, a freakish windstorm will kick up and last only from the time it takes to get from the door of my house to my car.

That’s just appearance wise, I won’t even go into the non-appearance issues an idiot girl such as I deals with on a daily basis.

I am very much what Notaro describes as an Idiot Girl. And I love Laurie Notaro’s writing because she embraces our quirky traits and makes it seem so much less awful and in fact, very, very funny to be an idiot girl.

This is the kind of book you want to hand out to all of your friends just so you can all sit around and laugh together.

For some of Notaro’s writing, you should check out .

My recommendation: Read this. It’s wonderful and laughing this much makes anyone feel good. Hands down, the funniest book I’ve ever read.
Finished reading during my lunch break on August 4, 2005..

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